Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
| Blogs > steamyandsexybi > Orgasmic Distractions |
U want it? You got it!
|
U want it? You got it! Have you ever came across someone you really weren't all that attracted to (whether it'd be on the phone, emails,face to face...) who just wouldnt leave you alone and couldnt take the "hint" that youre just NOT into him/her? All of the sudden, they start with the "Forbidden" dirty talk and you found yourself unable to respond. Well, here ya go~ I found this online and they were quite funny and maybe would just FINALLY make this person....just go away. Respond with some of these: (this post is supposed to be humorous. If you dont know how to laugh...Beat it) "I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks." "My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch." "I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt." "My last period looked like meat." "My balls feel soft and mushy." "I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't tell you they got something unless they mad at you." "How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?" "I got the dripper." "I have food chunks in my urine." "Had sex with my 's fiancé and then douched with Lysol--feelin' a little raw down there." "Scabs on my butt and I'm losing my mind." "I'm releasing semen when I take a crap." "I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old homosexual man." "I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the sores, they smell like vagina juice." "Can't you put the swab in further?" "I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and my other new baby's momma has disease." "Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of Wheat before it's cooked." "My cervix hurts when I jiggle." "The seam in my circumcision split open." "I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust either of them." "My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits." "From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the adrenaline out of me." "I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my brain and had sex with me." "I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me a 'chlamydiahoris.'" "My pee smells like ham."  |
||||
|
ROTFLMFAO! Some of those are really gross! It's hysterical!   I can't wait to look at the hubby and out of nowhere say, "My pee smells like ham!" With a totally striaght face! You just gave me some great material! LMFAO! OMG! The more I read these......ya got me laughin so hard I'm freakin crying!  {=}   {=}kisses, hugs, and sweet soft licks{=}
| |||
2/4/2007 4:32 pm |
Some of those are pretty gross. I think they would be met with silence from the other end.
| |||
|
ROTFLMFAO! Some of those are really gross! It's hysterical! I can't wait to look at the hubby and out of nowhere say, "My pee smells like ham!" With a totally striaght face! You just gave me some great material! LMFAO! OMG! The more I read these......ya got me laughin so hard I'm freakin crying! {=} Girlfriend, I told you I had a warped sense of humor! As a matter a fact, looks like we both do!!! I tell ya one thing though...if your pee smells like ham, I aint meeting you at that hotel room!! LMAO!! (just kidding)
| |||
|
Some of those are pretty gross. I think they would be met with silence from the other end.
| |||
|
I think this should come with a disclaimer - "Don't read until at least two hours after eating." If you should die before me, ask if you can bring a friend........
| |||
|
Have you ever came across someone you really weren't all that attracted to (whether it'd be on the phone, emails,face to face...) who just wouldnt leave you alone and couldnt take the "hint" that youre just NOT into him/her? All of the sudden, they start with the "Forbidden" dirty talk and you found yourself unable to respond. Well, here ya go~ Gosh ! i hate those ass-clowns..Nice blog you got going on here ! 
| |||
|
Ewww!!! Its a good thing I never touched the stuff (cream of wheat) Not even my mother could make me eat it! lol
| |||
|
I think this should come with a disclaimer - "Don't read until at least two hours after eating." Oh, come on- are you a girl? haha.... (Take it like a man!) lol
| |||
|
Have you ever came across someone you really weren't all that attracted to (whether it'd be on the phone, emails,face to face...) who just wouldnt leave you alone and couldnt take the "hint" that youre just NOT into him/her? All of the sudden, they start with the "Forbidden" dirty talk and you found yourself unable to respond. Well, here ya go~ Gosh ! i hate those ass-clowns..Nice blog you got going on here ! ..."ass clowns" I still laugh at that when I hear it.Thanks sweets! Welcome !!!!!
| |||
|
LOL!!! My favorite one was: "My last period looked like meat." Thats SO gross!! I wish I heard these back in high school!
| |||
|
J, Thats ok because~ "My cervix hurts when I jiggle." Yep! Its gonna be a mighty tough road, indeed!! (How are you?)
| |||
|
Trying to tell me something  This was NOT meant towards you at all!! I just found it hilarious!!!
| |||
|
Those are so gross  .....  Good thing I didn't get breakfast yet.... I was almost expecting to see the "Ya Might Be a Redneck" in there somewhere.  If there isn't a hidden message in there...   I  eat'n 
| |||
|
I know...but was feeling playful! Yet, couldn't come up with anything witty tonight since these two gals I knew took my mind for a ride. Then blew me in the backseat  *whew*...I'm back!  GLAD youre back! hehe....
| |||
|
'Warped' is often a good thing!
| |||
|
What do I do, you ask? Well, I refer back to this post...I confess! lol
| |||
|
Those are so gross ..... Good thing I didn't get breakfast yet.... I was almost expecting to see the "Ya Might Be a Redneck" in there somewhere. If there isn't a hidden message in there...There is NO hidden message in there.......not towards you anyway! 
| |||
|
Storm, Oh, come on- are you a girl? haha.... (Take it like a man!) lol If you should die before me, ask if you can bring a friend........
| |||
|
Normally I'd flirt more, but I'm on a mission at the moment. I don't often pimp posts, so you know this is important. An outrage Please pay attention If you should die before me, ask if you can bring a friend........
| |||
2/5/2007 7:37 am |
That still wouldn't keep some of them away, and that is what really sucks!
| |||
|
Normally I'd flirt more, but I'm on a mission at the moment. I don't often pimp posts, so you know this is important. An outrage Please pay attention Thats old news. Lots of people know about it. Andrew (the CE  probably wont do anything about it. As he often never does about anything. He puts a good front up though........
| |||
|
That still wouldn't keep some of them away, and that is what really sucks!And you are probably right- it probably wont do any good for some folks!
| |||
|
Ahhhh~ I see the same ones caught your eye, just like me. LOL!! Imagine REALLY saying those things to someone and the hurling feeling they'd get hearing it. LMAO!!!
| |||
2/5/2007 4:54 pm |
I really enjoyed these. I guess a lot of us here are warped.
| |||
2/5/2007 5:13 pm |
wow babe!! these are a real pisser!! LMAO!!!
|
Become a member to create a blog
