Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now

Rejected - Which is Worse?  

tresennui 69F  
2840 posts
12/23/2008 5:51 am

Last Read:
5/13/2018 6:53 pm

Rejected - Which is Worse?

I was chatting with a friend of mine last night and he told me he had been on two dates recently. Took both women out to dinner. One ended in a pretty intense make-out session in the car the other he went back to her place and had what he thought was mutually enjoyable sex. He talked to both on the phone for a few days afterwords as well as chatted online. After asking both if they wanted to go out again the responses were similar..."I had a nice time, but.."




The question is ---- Is it harder to take rejection from a person you've had sex with or haven't had sex with. He wavered on his answer. Of course both times his ego was deflated, but he pretty much came to the conclusion that being rejected after what he thought was a sexually gratifying experience was worse. Could I get some other opinions on this?


Tresennui
Succumbing to Curiosity...read me at tresennui


Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
5/8/2018 5:44 pm

Is it harder to take rejection from a person you've had sex with or haven't had sex with. .... Neither really. Rejection is rejection. Move on.

He wavered on his answer. ... Well look at him. He's telling you this, instead of a male buddy. So he's probably the kind of guy who thinks having sex with a woman is [has to be] meaningful on some level. ....Really it doesn't need to be.

Of course both times his ego was deflated,.... He places too much importance on sex.


tasteyme2 63M/64F
37 posts
6/7/2015 6:06 pm

I think the intense make out session would be harder for me. Remember, we are on a sex site and he had that with one of them. I understand your friend may not have been on Local Adult Companion and may have been looking for a meaningful relationship. The two women he dated may have not been ready for a relationship or may have seen something in his personality that caused them to reconsider dating him. Lets face it, lots of us have had sex with someone who was very desirable but once the deed was done we realized the person couldn't hold a decent conversation...or dominated the conversation.


VerandahPoly 80M  
526 posts
1/30/2015 2:08 pm

This week, Local Adult Companion came through for me, with my first encounter after about 20 years of a sexless marriage with the love of my life. We met, had a drink, found we liked one another, and repaired to her place, where we made love. She let me remember the ecstasy of being in bed thinking with the little head. Then it was two days later. After that wonderful time, I was worrying ... What a relief to find that she was enthusiastic about a second engagement ... Even a fat fool finds an acorn ...


nicolerbkao 39F

2/21/2009 8:52 am

id rather be rejected then ignored though so at least the girls told him they really werent that interested and he should just mark it up as having a great time and find someone else to enjoy


LoveYourLips66 58M

1/21/2009 11:01 am

I can't believe I am actually going through all of your blogs. But they are definitely interesting. And you don't go on lengthy floral languages about a topic.

Unless I have a deep emotional bond with someone, I wouldn't feel any significant rejection. In the scenarios above... I would feel good that we at least connected that much. The reverse of what your guy friend feels is felt by countless women all the time... offering up sex in the hopes of solidifying a more meaningful relationship.

S//


good2fnd 71M

12/31/2008 6:08 am

To answer a question with a question. Is it worse to be rejected or ignored by someone?


good2fnd 71M

12/30/2008 10:13 am

Rejection is never easy but it hurts more after you have had sex with the woman. The difficult part is not to take the rejection personally. There could be a number of reasons why the woman decides not to see the man again. I try to go on a date with no pressure and with realistic expectations. Not as easy as it sounds, but things don't always work out the way you want them to. I just try to enjoy the date.


Extramist 66M
14079 posts
12/27/2008 12:07 pm

I would say that being rejected after having sex would be worse because it would make one question their love-making skills. It would take an unusually philisophical man to rationalize that the woman was simply seeking a one-night stand, unless she told him that when she rejected his overtures for another date.

AKA The Clit Whisperer.


sman2k.01 51M
3151 posts
12/25/2008 3:23 pm

this reminds me of something that happened with me. i met a girl online, we talked for weeks, really got along well, decided to meet to see how things went. she was worried i'd expect something, and was very clear on multiple occasions that there would be absolutely no first date sex.

we met at my house and went out to dinner and saw a show after, and i took her home and tried to say goodbye at the curb. she asked to come in, asked for a tour, asked to see my bedroom, we started making out and it was really intense. we didn't have sex but she was fairly aggressive, but stopped when things started to progress. and when i say aggressive i mean grabbing my cock through my pants and getting really passionate, you know.

next day, she told me it wasn't going anywhere and she didn't want to see me again. honestly, i'd have been less confused if we'd had sex, but she was so passionate, so involved, and so aggressive at some points (though she was careful to slow me down when i was being too aggressive). and even though she had to put the brakes on me several times i was a gentleman about it, didn't try to push her too hard. i just couldn't get it, and i was bothered more by the mixed signals than by the rejection. and honestly, writing this years later i still have no insights about what went on there.


gentile_sadico 59M
1392 posts
12/23/2008 10:07 pm

it could be that the women just wanted sex for just that one night, but if his perception is off he may not have been that good in bed, but being rejected after sex would be worse...


Mustang1542 56M  
74 posts
12/23/2008 3:02 pm

Can't really add much more than has been said already other than perhaps if this is becoming a very common event, he should tighten up the scrutiny belt a notch or two...


Murax 61M
933 posts
12/23/2008 1:44 pm

Being rejected after would certainly be worse. There can be a whole host of reasons for being rejected before you meet / play that don't really involve you personally so you can at least spare your ego a little. After you have had sex there is really only one conclusion.


goodlookincookin 53M
157 posts
12/23/2008 12:49 pm

I completely agree with Cammed and Smokry. There really is no such thing as "casual sex". Sex is either important for one, the other, or both, but intimacy can come in other forms. A soulful connection can be made with a sensual goodnight kiss, or holding each other until they fall asleep. It is, however, too often that people deny the connection they have with someone due to fear of being hurt. Unwilling to take a leap of faith in the possibility of something special, they walk away, breaking their own heart instead of letting someone else shatter it to pieces.

In my freshman year of high school, crushes ran rampant and hormones were completely out of control. I met a girl who I was very interested in. I hesitated to ask her out, and because of that, someone else beat me to her. She introduced me to a friend of hers, with whom I got along great, but I was still focused on the one that got away.

I was afraid of rejection, so I hesitated, and lost a great opportunity. Here's the kicker. Years after high school was over, I came across the girl I missed out on. She was married to the same guy she was with in high school. In the conversation, she revealed to me that her friend had a crush on me, but never came forward because SHE was afraid of rejection.

Funny how life works, isn't it? Fear of heartbreak can tear someone down like a hammer hitting fine crystal. It is when someone realizes that there are no guarantees that people face the fear of rejection, and go for the gold anyway.

I'd be willing to bet that your friend's sexual experience was far from casual, but if the woman denies herself the opportunity to continue, then he shouldn't blame himself. Life goes on, fortunately, and he will meet someone else.

GLC


wellillbecammed 61M  
36 posts
12/23/2008 8:58 am

i think its more of an ego bruise if you had sex with someone and they said no thanks to another tryst. I've been on both sides of that. sex is a special thing. there is a special connection that needs to occur and if it doesn't, then there is no sense trying to fool either yourself or your partner. it really shouldn't come as a surprise to your friend or any of us, cause to be honest, you know afterward whether it was MUTUALLY satisfactory or not.


Become a member to create a blog