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| Blogs > rm_velvttouch > Me, Myself and I... |
cold bitch vs emotional wreck
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cold bitch vs emotional wreck control by puddle of mudd I love the way you look at me I feel the pain you place inside you lock me up inside your dirty cage while I'm alone inside my mind I like to teach you all the rules I get to see them set in stone I like it when you chain me to the bed but then your secrets never show I need to feel you you need to feel me I can't control you you're not the one for me no I can't control you you can't control me I need to feel you so why's there even... I love the way you rake my skin I feel the hate you place inside I need to get your voice out of my head 'cause I'm that guy you'll never find I think you know all of the rules there's no expressions on your face I hope that someday you will let me go Release me from my dirty cage I need to feel you you need to feel me I can't control you you're not the one for me no I can't control you you can't control me I need to feel you so why's there even you and me I love the way you look at me I love the way you smack my ass I love the dirty things you do I have control of you (repeat 4X) I need to feel you you need to feel me I can't control you you're not the one for me no I can't control you you can't control me I need to feel you so why's there even you and me You're not the one for me no You're not the one for me no You're not the one for me no You're not the one for me no ************************************************ Whenever some thing happens I always say I am fine whether i am or not..lol I find emotional wreck annoying. If I acknowledge my emotions that makes them more real and harder to control and then they are controling me verses me controling them. They get in the way. If I acknowledge fear, anger, hurt and frustration they take over me and prevent me from doing what I need to do. Color my judgement and hamper my movements. If I control them, stamp them down to a dull roar so I am not really even feeling them (until maybe later when it's convenient or until i am pushed to the breaking point...lol) then I am a cold bitch. Both of my x's called me cold. Why? Because i refused to react the way they wanted me too when they were upset. Because when i feel attacked i pull into my self (kind of like the fetal position emotionally...lol). I grew up in a big italian family. Lots of yelling, confrontation and debating is a fun pass time...lol. Some where along the line I got tired.. Tired of the yelling, tired of all that emotion getting thrown around. and in the business world that type of passion is perceived negatively (although i slip sometimes and let it out..lol). You are considered a hot head and many times your message is lost by the way it is presented because emotions got in the way. I don't seem to be able to acknowledge and express my emotions while maintaining control of them...lol Doesn't that even just sound ridiculous? and I can't turn them on or off at whim. There doesn't seem to be a happy medium... so cold bitch or emotional wreck? |
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Which do you prefer? Cold bitch seems like it would make things easier to deal with in the near term but possibly harder on you long term. Especially if you don't get a chance to work on the emotions before the next batch comes in. Then you've got an emotional pileup that you are trying to handle and work through. But probably far better than breaking down at the first sign of issues. And an emotional wreck doesn't sound like it would work for you. Well, maybe it would... but like you said it would have to be later when it's convenient. But that can be hard on anyone your with if it ends up being how you normally are. Personally, I'm happy with either... cold bitch allows you to have the control needed to get through the event no matter how horrible... I know some EMTs are like that. Get to a scene of a horrible accident and just go cold until they can get home and cry. And then the emotional wreck when you have the support around you to help get through it. Although, I'll admit. I'm never quite happy with anger. Mainly because sometimes(most times?) it's hard to aim it. You might be PISSED PISSED PISSED at your boss(or your other lover) but when discussing/dealing with it it leaks out onto the person you are with. And if it seems someone is pissed at you, it can be hard to not get pissed yourself. I guess the most important things is... Are you happy with how you are emotionally? Is it affecting your relationships personal or business? Would you want to be any different than you are? And what positions do you prefer??? *whistles innocently*
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Which do you prefer? Cold bitch seems like it would make things easier to deal with in the near term but possibly harder on you long term. Especially if you don't get a chance to work on the emotions before the next batch comes in. Then you've got an emotional pileup that you are trying to handle and work through. But probably far better than breaking down at the first sign of issues. And an emotional wreck doesn't sound like it would work for you. Well, maybe it would... but like you said it would have to be later when it's convenient. But that can be hard on anyone your with if it ends up being how you normally are. Personally, I'm happy with either... cold bitch allows you to have the control needed to get through the event no matter how horrible... I know some EMTs are like that. Get to a scene of a horrible accident and just go cold until they can get home and cry. And then the emotional wreck when you have the support around you to help get through it. Although, I'll admit. I'm never quite happy with anger. Mainly because sometimes(most times?) it's hard to aim it. You might be PISSED PISSED PISSED at your boss(or your other lover) but when discussing/dealing with it it leaks out onto the person you are with. And if it seems someone is pissed at you, it can be hard to not get pissed yourself. I guess the most important things is... Are you happy with how you are emotionally? Is it affecting your relationships personal or business? Would you want to be any different than you are? And what positions do you prefer??? *whistles innocently* but i thought my post was leaning toward there anyway... and i agree with the leaking thing.. there is good leaking and bad leaking ..lol I am never completely happy with who i am. will be a work in prgress until i die...
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2/25/2008 8:25 pm |
you're doing the right thing. Cold Bitch is fine. emotional wrecks - very big turn off. Speaking of wrecks; I'd like you to handle my claim anytime!
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