1448 posts 1/14/2009 11:05 pm
Last Read:
2/2/2023 3:14 am
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From the diary...
of Joe Public, part 1....
Joe public, a fake, a man, joins the ...as if Local Adult Companion. Well it could be Jan Publique, or Jon Van Der Publikk, Ivan Publicovski, Joshua Publicshteinberg, Jose Elpublico, Jan Publicincintas, Gianis Publicopoulopoulos, or any other .
This is an imaginary post, and all names, places and events were changed. Also no wild life squirrels were hurt during posting, no carbon footprint was recorded at all as we had to sell the footprint recorder last week to get a piece of stale bread and it all complies with current health and safety regulations.
There I was just browsing the net as usual when this pop up ...errm popped up. Get laid it said ! Hook up with a local hotie tonight. As I was watching a footie game, I was already quite turned on, so I did not hesitate to click on the '' join up for free '' button of the pop up.
This took me to a strange page, where my credit card details were required, I found this strange as I remembered the pop up said ' join up for free ' but, as I said I was quite horny already. So after a short process I was a full gold member. Now, what do we have here, edit your profile it says, so I click on that to start with. Me been a smoker and having rotten teeth, and also been totally bold, I thought it would be a great idea to name myself '' long haired lovely smile '' . I managed to upload a picture of my cock too, while still editing my profile, so I would not miss out on the local hotie, later on .
Well it was not mine, I downloaded it from the net and photo shopped it on my body, like everyone else does ! I did the same with my profile picture, although this time I photo shopped someone else's face on to someone else's body, as I would only conduct meetings in dark dingy alleyways, wearing a hat and rarely smiling, and no one would ever notice.
I subtracted a few pounds from my weight and a few years off my age and added them up as inches to my height and manhood !
Then on with the profile details editing .
I wanted to be different, shine out from the rest of them, so I started typing.......I am a tall man looking for loads of fun. I like going out and also like staying in. I enjoy food and drink, going to the cinema, and having fun with friends. I play footie every Saturday. (Ha, I felt special and different already and I did not mention that the footie was played on my PS for hours on end, from the comfort of my sofa...)
I like to keep fit and eat healthy. ( Again no mention of the sport I play from my sofa, or the cheese and onion crisps diet, after all onion is a vegetable ... )
I was sure that would stand out !
I also fished out of my pictures a photo from years ago, of me swimming with dolphins. So I thought it apt to fill in my profession as a dolphin trainer.
After a while I had my profile approved and was able to conduct a search and send messages !
The first woman that came up on my search was named '' never fuck me '' so I thought I would message her. She mentioned that she liked women only and said on her profile '' no men '' and '' no dick pictures '' so I thought I would send her a pic of my member, just to wake up her confused feelings. Then I thought hard about writing something witty and original so I settled for ''hey babe, I had a look at your profile and liked it. Shall we fuck later on tonite ? '' I was certain that she would be pleasantly surprised from my ability to express my deepest thoughts and individuality !
I kind of liked that message so I copied and pasted it and send it to another 375 profiles on that day. Now all I had to do was sit back and wait for my in box to fill up.
Then I made a blog and inventively named it...'' my blog '' I copied and pasted some material from the net again and posted it in there.
The next day I eagerly looked at my in box. There were many messages in there. One said fuck off dick head. Another one said Go fuck yourself saddo. I started to feel good, enjoying all that sexual innuendo, hidden in those replies. Obviously they all wanted to have sex with me, hence including the word '' fuck '' in their replies...
Some women had even tried to disguise their hot feelings for me by naming their reply as an auto reply but that was not going to deter me, I could read the hidden message in there and how mad they were to meet me. I kept messaging those ones for weeks later and they always send me back the same message, always called an auto reply for some reason, but I knew they were just playing hard to get.
To be continued when I feel like it, but meanwhile, if anyone wants to re-edit / add the next part(s) here, please be my guest. Maybe a word about him preparing himself for a first date, brushing his teeth , and his dentist's, with acid. Applying olive oil as a substitute for hair gel. Shaving his hairy nose and ears. Buying condoms that glow in the dark. Anything goes...
Disclaimer : As mentioned above there is absolutely no connection with any characters or events described above with anyone you may know from real life, or this site ...but the really scary thought is that I actually knew someone like that a few years ago, in real life. He was just a member on some other website so you lot are safe for now....or are you ?
Although I thought of him when I wrote this I am sure that there are women like him out there....
Do you know any real life characters like the one above ?
Please sign My guestbook
Have a read at my new My profile for standard members
Tell me a secret Private messages
And in a recession busting mood ...
All my bling is FREE Free bling anyone
  
  
  
  
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21123 posts 1/17/2009 3:43 am |
 met quite a few like him
Keep it up,show us your honest side,oops your imaginary friends side
Got this post from Astarte
Ps i also owe you an email,not forgotten just a lazy bitch
I'm a
 
and
i'm here to stay
greekphilosopher replies on 1/17/2009 5:09 am:
Hi Papi, nice to see you in here.
Oi....don't reveal to the world that it was me I had in mind... 
You don't owe me nothing.Ok I will have an ouzo when I meet you. |
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12785 posts 1/17/2009 4:45 am |
Very cleaver my friend!!!
How is it you relate with that special someone!!!
We are Relational Beings and How to Communicate
A moment of lust does not equal The eternity of true LOVE Keep your heart true and pure Get it RIGHTOr get LEFT
     
greekphilosopher replies on 1/17/2009 5:10 am:
Hi mvsmike and thank you.Welcome to my blog too,P. |
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1717 posts 1/17/2009 4:53 am |
I posted this previously on Bibabybibi's fun blog. True story!
A woman in her mid-30's initiated contact with me by saying she is a "sex maniac", and that she "had to meet me". She proceeded to describe graphically what she needed me to do for her. No picture on her profile, but she described herself as tall and athletic. Hmmmm . . . sounded "too good to be true", and I guess anyone reading this may share my skepticism about things that sound that way.
Surprisingly, she proved funny and creative across a series of email exchanges over the next two weeks, and so I invited her to meet me for a drink. At this point she sent me her picture. And the picture was strikingly attractive . . . a little bit kinky, leather dress and so on, but then her messages had been consistent with that image. Though my own "kinks" are pretty much limited to giving oral and vigourous multi-position coupling (yah, I know - not very kinky), let's just say I was looking forward to meeting her (grin again). We arranged to meet at a coffee bar of a large Jakarta shopping mall.
A very different looking woman turned up. Although pleasant looking, she was short, seriously overweight and bore zero resemblance to the photo she had sent. Because she had been fun on email, despite the evident deception, I bought her an iced-coffee mainly to be polite. I guess she was surprised that I hadn't rejected her on sight, and she immediately began regaling me with stories about recent gangbangs and various other way-over-the-top encounters she had "hosted" (my word choice). Not my kinda thing at all!
All the while she was scooting her chair closer and touching me frequently. I was doing my best to scoot "away" and planning my exit when she grabbed my hand firmly and asked "Do you LIKE me?". Not wanting to be rude, I said "Well, you don't look very much like your picture." She replied, "Oh yeah, that picture is of my friend." When I asked why she had sent a picture of her friend and not of herself . . . without missing a beat - like, well duh - she answered "Because she is much more beautiful than me". I'm thinking ohhh-kaaay, why not send me a photo of Beyonce Knowles . . . or of Miss Indonesia. My goodness!
I finished my coffee, thanked her for coming out to meet me and rose to leave. She seemed genuinely surprised and asked "Don't you WANT me? We can go to your place and do all (the things we wrote about)". I gently explained that I didn't think we had "chemistry" (full smile), and made my get-away.
Not the first time I encountered a mismatch between profile and reality, but always before, the problem was photo-shopping or using pictures from many years or many pounds ago. This deception was in a different league entirely. Gave me a fun story to share anyway! Ms too-kinky-for-me remains active on the Indonesia site and her profile begins with her catch-phrase "sex maniac" while still describing herself as "athletic". Sheeesh . . .
greekphilosopher replies on 1/17/2009 5:19 am:
Hi bulehyatt and thanx for visiting and your true story.Reminds me of a few (few more than a few !) dates I had myself.It never ceases to amaze me the cheek these people have,using pix from many many pounds/years ago and hoping we won't notice! |
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1435 posts 1/17/2009 5:30 am |
WOW Great post !!!
You are so right I think you can easly find people like that in the net
greekphilosopher replies on 1/17/2009 12:45 pm:
Ello cignolo and welcome in here.Thank you.You are correct.this guy and some girls like him seem to occupy about 90 % of the dating sites on the net. Ah, the elimination process is such a long road... |
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1/18/2009 5:14 am
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thats great ,ive met a few of them xxx
greekphilosopher replies on 1/18/2009 5:42 am:
Hi annamia ,welome in my blog and thank you.I think '' Local Adult Companion '' should me called '' a fanasy friend '' or ''a fanatic fantasist '' . |
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