1448 posts 3/27/2017 10:43 am
Last Read:
2/3/2023 2:44 am
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Sex date, coming soon!!!
I have been on here now, the second time around, since mid January this year. I did not pay for any membership, as I do not feel this is the right time for me, yet, to start meeting people. But there are exceptions to every rule. Plus, what would the girlfriend say? LOL! ( Ok, that was a joke and there is NO girlfriend! )
So I have no need to send any messages.
I spend my time on the blogs pages. All is quiet. But there is loads happening beneath the surface. Messages from women who I either commented on their post, or girls I have never seen before, like in having viewed their profiles, or had any kind of interaction in the past, are flying back and forth. Some of these messages are, how can I say, flirty and suggestive, in veiled subtle ways, that some women seem to have a speciality in writing. Things are getting pretty hot. There is sex in the air. Seems there is no need to pay any money to get sex!
I have even bagged my self a sex date! Everything is in place, just waiting for the day to arrive. Sex is guaranteed. It is the kind of one time per year sex, a one night stand. It has been repeated, every year, around the same time, with the same type of person, at a time where the passion and wanton can not be contained any more! I can not stop thinking about how my body will give and get relief. The scratches on my back from the passion. The weak knees. The dry mouth and dizzy head. That feeling. I am so excited.
Guaranteed sex date, on early April. I am definitely getting some sex on the day. Got to do my self assessment for the inland revenue, and the tax man, keeping up with tradition, will screw me again, for yet another year!
And some jokes, of course
Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office, but she belonged to
someone else.
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll
give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you, but the girl said NO.
Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend
down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a
moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend, so she
called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said ask him
for 2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to
get his pants down.
So she agreed and accepted the proposal. Half an hour went by and the
boyfriend was waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45
minutes the boyfriend called and asked what happened.
She said "The bastard used coins"
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety
before agreeing to it and getting screwed.
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A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to
her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?"
"No," she replies, "I'm married to God." She stands up, and gets off at the
next stop.
The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says: "I can tell you
how to get to have sex with her!"
"Yeah?", says the hippie.
"Yeah!", say the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at
midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood,
put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery
claiming to be God."
The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as
suggested on the next Tuesday night.
"I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face.
"Have sex with me."
The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal
sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.
'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he
jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.
"Ha-ha," he cries. "I'm the hippie!"
"Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I'm the bus driver!
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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4077 posts 3/27/2017 10:45 am |
Do you have sex with your taxman/woman? The only case I think, when a sexless relationship is perfect!
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16552 posts 3/27/2017 11:47 am |
You only get screwed once a year? . 
I didn't know you were even married... 
Love the jokes! 
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4077 posts 3/27/2017 11:56 am |
Quoting goodatpoetry2:
You only get screwed once a year? .
I didn't know you were even married...
Love the jokes!
Hi goodatpoetry2. This is the marriage that lasts a long time, unlike my mere 20 years. Thanx for dropping in!
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4077 posts 3/27/2017 12:26 pm |
hey aflower2c, they have made the date the 6th of April. I think, for that reason. The amount of people crying poverty, and when, later, are questioned about the villa in Spain and bank account in Luxemburg claim it was an April fool joke. Damn! Thanx for dropping by.
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107039 posts 3/27/2017 12:44 pm |
Good luck on your date..
Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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4077 posts 3/27/2017 12:53 pm |
Quoting Tmptrzz:
Good luck on your date..
Hi tmptrzz, have you any lube spare?
I can guess you busy.
It's a date with the taxman!
Thanx for dropping by
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7262 posts 3/27/2017 10:48 pm |
Maybe you need to pay the taxman/woman in coins, oopsie?
Vive La Difference
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4077 posts 3/28/2017 1:55 am |
Quoting tickles4us:
Maybe you need to pay the taxman/woman in coins, oopsie?
Hey tickles4us, what a good idea!!! Thanx for dropping by.
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4077 posts 3/28/2017 2:02 am |
Hi author51.May be what tickles says is the way forward for less taxes! Thanx for dropping in.
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4077 posts 3/28/2017 5:50 am |
Hi resident_bitch, and welcome. Tell me about it. Too busy working, generating income, to pay taxes! If I only had the time...
Thanx for dropping by.
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32404 posts 3/28/2017 1:18 pm |
how utterly romantic that you meet someone once a year.
You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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4077 posts 3/28/2017 1:28 pm |
Quoting wickedeasy:
how utterly romantic that you meet someone once a year.
Hey wicked. It is an almost perfect relationship. I just wish it was more...sexless!
Thanx for visiting.
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544 posts 3/30/2017 9:32 am |
Lol to tickle4us! That's a good one!
Ginger
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544 posts 3/30/2017 9:33 am |
Love the jokes
Ginger
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4077 posts 3/30/2017 9:42 am |
too right ginger. tickles4us is offering the best solution here, especially if the tax inspector happens to be a pretty gal! But she needs to be a gal OK?
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4077 posts 3/30/2017 9:43 am |
glad you enjoy the jokes ginger. Thanx for dropping by.
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