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| Blogs > NotSoDarkKnight > The Bats In My Belfry |
Romance: What's the Point?
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Romance: What's the Point? Romance like a ghost escapes touching; it is always where you are not, not where you are. The interview or conversation was prose at the time, but it is poetry in the memory. -George William Curtis With the approach of the, ever so rediculous, Valentine's Day, I have decided to take a little peek under the hood of the concept of romance. I think any of us who have been married have experienced the loss of romance in our relationships. I think it is a side effect of the institution of marriage itself. Think back to when you were fresh in your relationship. Your heart would beat out of your chest and your stomach would flutter every time you saw each other. You went out of your way to try and show them how much you like them and do all kinds of things you thought were romantic. You have a strong need just to show them how much you care. But, once you start living together, whether from marriage or not, familiarity settles in. The very unromantic things such as bills, chores, and morning breath rear their ugly heads. It becomes harder to hold someone on a romantic pedestal when you see all aspects of them, including the unsavory ones. You know the honeymoon is over when one of you farts in front of the other or pays no attention to the closed door and just walks into the bathroom for something while the other is trying to drop a duece. Sure you still try and do some romantic things. You leave a little love note somewhere, you may send some flowers or something, or try and go out to a nice dinner. But even that falls flat after a while if only one member of the relationship is always putting forth the effort. Sadly, we all have different notions of what we find romantic. And something you think and try that you feel is romantic may not be something your partner finds romantic. So what do you do? Do you keep trying to give your relationship little shots of romance or do you just give up? Romance is something we all say we want and many of us say we are missing in our relationships. Is it something that only exists in the beginning of a relationship? I'm curious to everyone's opinions. What do you find romantic? Are you part of a long-term relationship where only one of you is the romantic one? Please share. See you next episode, where I will discuss my perfect Valentine's Day date. Be there, same Batchannel. Pax!  Just Another Geek on Local Adult Companion |
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I have always been the giver. Would be so nice to find someone who would also give and not just take all the time. I was the one to end both my marriage and long term relationship, as I ran out of 'Give.' 
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To me after 25 years of marriage - romance is my gas tank being filled up without me asking or the toilet seat in the down position. I think roses and candy are sweet but the more practical aspects of life thrill me. How can I not adore a man that cuts 2 pieces of cake for us before allowing the children to annihilate the dessert? I distinctly remember a time when I felt the man I married was NOT the man that romanced me. It took me hitting rock bottom to realize that life was not all roses and that sometimes romance and love was displayed in more practical ways. That was when I started making a daily effort to demonstrate my love. It may simply be cooking his meal just how he likes it. He responded in kind and we found a much better way to live our lives together.
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2/9/2011 8:26 pm |
I understand that after awhile you feel like u have to do all the work in making romance happen. As a giver, we both know as much as we love to give there comes a time when we would like to receive. Shared partnership of the give and take. Sigh..... Creativity is a drug I cannot live without.
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I was always a giver... May not have been romantic gestures, but little things to make the day a little easier. I always left for work earlier, so I'd scrape the windshield and leave a "kiss" note on the steering wheel, or draw a heart on the steamed bathroom mirror... A thank you for any of those small things would've been awesome, and very much appreciated. This analogy may seem a little strange, but I think those of us who are givers are kinda' like dogs. We're loyal, we try to do things to make our "master" proud, we show affection regardless of how OUR day went... and when we're acknowledged, it's like a scratch behind the ear... and we're content for a period of time. But we're always searching for that right thing or gesture that will earn the scratch behind the ear. Unlike a dog, though, we tend to give up... There's only so much one person can do in a couple...
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Nice blog entry.... However, I may regret saying this in public forum later, romance tends to be seen as a weather phenom not a lifestyle goal. If you were changing your diet or working on financial security you would take responsiblity and make the effort to get your spouce to join you in the behaviors. Romance much like these examples, in my mind, requires strategic effort. It's not like a drought where a rain shower is the only answer. If we really want it... We will work for it. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Henry Louis Mencken  Follow Me to Jubilee's Joint...
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