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Blogs > BeautifulPhantom > Random thoughts

I don't wanna!  

BeautifulPhantom 52F
272 posts
6/8/2007 2:23 am

Last Read:
2/10/2011 10:15 am
I don't wanna!

Yes, I am truly whining. I am planning to go to Wyoming at the end of the month and have some fun playing with my truck in the mud for the first time since I bought it. My family reunion is at the same time.

My mother found out that I was going to be in the area on the same days. (Mostly because I can't keep my big mouth shut. Damnit, will I ever learn?) She laid on the guilt trip so I got roped into going for a few hours.

Well, she apparently guilted one of my brothers into going too. I was going to be a flake and skip it but he says if he has to go I have to go. Well shit, he's bigger than me now so when he threatens to carry me by one ankle to the truck, strap me in upside down and take me with I have to take him seriously. He's not stupid enough to let me swing so I can get close enough to hit or bite. Though with my back being the way it is, probably not a good idea to get dropped on my head anyway.

So I am stuck dealing with people that don't really like me anyway but like to pretend to at least once a year because we are family. I don't really know what the problem is. I am a pretty likable person.

Oh wait, I do too know what the problem is. I'm not MORMON! Yep, religion yet again divides the masses. So fuck it. If I must go, I am going to be as big a pain in the ass as I can.

Got to clean the bugshield so that the sticker that reads Lead, Follow, or GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY (backwards of course) can be read clearly. Hmmm grab a pint of Jack Daniels on the way and make sure I am wearing jeans with back pockets so I can keep it there. Maybe I should pick up a few big fat cigars too. Nahhh, Camel filters should be good enough.

What else can I do? Having sex with some random guy on the front lawn just seems to be a bit much, but would pretty much guarantee I never get invited back. Bonus! But really not my style. I am a bit more subtle.

Oh wait, I better check out t-shirt hell for a really offensive slogan on a shirt. Yeah! That is good. And since my brother will be wearing one of the ones I bought him for Christmas I will blend. HAHAHAHA Perfect. Why kill them with kindness when you can use an axe? And ordering it in a woman's boy beater. Oh, wait. This orgy sure is off to a slow start. TFF! Yep, that's the one. Ok, in the shopping cart you go.

Any other rotten but subtle suggestions are welcomed. Just let me know if you want credit or not. xoxo,
BP
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

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