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Blogs > 80sbaby71 > Life in the Nursery~

Settling down  

80sbaby71 52F
7366 posts
1/28/2009 12:38 pm
Settling down

I have been thinking quite a bit lately about where my life is going and where I want it to go in the future. After being with my soon to be ex-husband for more than 20 years, I was scared to get into any kind of "relationship" too soon. But at the same time I did not want to be alone. So I went a little wild. NOT GOOD! I burned some bridges that will take a long time to rebuild.

Now I am past the rebelious stage and am settling down. I think I would really like to find someone else to share my life with. My friend Ponygirl has found something special and I am happy for her. She has been an inspiration of sorts to me. She is strong in her marriage. And with the marriage being as strong as it is they have brought her lover into the home. Her husband and her are truly in love and she is truly in love with her lover. When I see either husband and wife together or wife and lover I can see the love in their eyes.

I for one would love to find this kind of contentment and peace. My life has had its ups and downs for 35+ years. But what does not kill us makes us stronger. I take full responsability for my actions and any consequences that incurred. I will not make excuses for my actions. I have made mistakes and hopefully have come out for the better from them.

So now I will start to examine myself and decide what I need in a relationship. What qualities I am looking for in a man. I know he must have a strong faith in himself. I want him to be open to communication. I am NOT looking for some "buff", "tall, dark & handsome". I want a real man. Someone who is not afraid to say what he feels. A man who will love me for who I am. A man who will look at my past and know that I am not that person anymore. A man who will be by my side. Do I want to get married again? I really don't think that is what I am looking for right now. I am looking for happiness. I think that is really what most of us are looking for.....right?

So my search will begin. I may not find what I am looking for today, tomorrow or even this year. But at the same time, who is to say that the man I am looking for has not been in my life already? I mean the way I look at things is that for any relationship to work you must first be friends....so maybe, just maybe....there is a man. A man that is right there just waiting for me to grow up. A man who is just waiting for me to wake up.

Hey you never know. And I am a really big sucker for happy endings......
PonyGirl1965 58F
22090 posts
1/30/2009 12:00 am

 Thank you so much for the sweet words! You will find your love. He may still be slaying a dragon right now but God is preparing you to be ready to receive him. Your dream man is out there and as soon as God has him ready, he will ride into sight. And you will live happily ever after I love you Baby!



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