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| Blogs > 80sbaby71 > Life in the Nursery~ |
DECISIONS
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DECISIONS Well as some of my friends on here know I have not been the most wise in some of my decisions. I made some mistakes, met up with the wrong people, and ended up getting hurt. Being hurt can be in many different ways.....physical, mental, emotional just to name a few. Well I have changed in the last couple of months and I guess you could say that I have "settled" down. I have some very close friends on here who have stuck by me even though I have disappointed them in some of my choices. But through it all they hae stuck by me. I truly consider them my family. My friends have watched out for me. They have had to watch me learn from my mistakes. They have been there to help me up, wipe away the tears, and even willing to go beat up the "bad guys" and fight for my honor. Thank you! I love you. The reason for this blog post was this, I realized from a recent conversation how much I hurt those around me. Lost trust. I recently started to reaquaint with a friend from the past. We had been friends in High school. Lost touch, then reunited. Well very rocky friendship. In my eyes I was continually being hurt. Used. Shit on I guess you could say. So I ended up distancing myself from the friendship. We have recently started talking again. It was in part this person choices that I ended up making the bad choices of my own. No I am not blaming this person. I make those choices on my own freewill. But I think it was a partial case of someone beating me down and me trying to show them I was worth something. Ok back to the conversation. Friday night I met up with this friend for drinks at Henry Hudsons by my house. We had our drinks nibbled on appetizers and just caught up. Well we decided to go hang out at Grahams. Got there had a few drinks, a guy who has in the past tried to hook up with me was there. No biggie right? Well this guy also has tried (succeeded) in hooking up with my friend. Well he lost any chance with me the day he called me by HER name. Well he was at Grahams. He had been drinking. He started flirting big time with me. Ne completely ignored my frien. Part of me was happy to be the center of a guys attention for once. But the other part of me knew that somehow this would come back to bite me in the ass somehow someway! Well he pulled me out on the dance floor for a slow dance. Then when he went to the bathroom.....I ran! Yes I know that was not nice, but he had just informed me I would be taking him back to MY palce for the night.  1. I did not bring your ass. 2. I don't want your ass. 3. How dare you tell me that I will be taking You to MY place????Well so we left. After several pitstops trying to find a bathroom. Several unanwsered calls from the guy. My friend gets a call from an Local Adult Companion friend she met in a chatroom. He is in town and would like to meet. Why not she thinks. 1. I am the driver. 2. She had been drinking (ok me too). Well I being the friend I am ( ) tell her she does not need to go all the way out to Stillwater just to get laid by a guy she has never even met! So says she is going. Well hell! So I tell her if you are going then I will take you. 1. backup 2. what are friends for? So the guys tells her to meet him at the loves in Guthrie. Then we can follow him to his travel trailer. Oh yeah Michele VERY smart! Well we did. They go they do the wild thing.....me I stood by and listened. I had the chance to be a part of it. But for some reason I decided to have a little bit of morals, pride, and just plain common sense. So I did the good thing and stood by (with my trusty little friend a friend gave me) just in case something should happen. Well as we are driving home at 6 am, I decide to call one of my friends. My passenger is passed out in the seat beside me and I want to tlak to someone. So I give my friend a call. He asks what I am doing up so early. I tell him I have yet to go to bedf. This upsets him when he finds out who I am with. It is at this point I realize how much trust and face I have lost with my friends when he asks what I did. When I tell him that I did not do anything, I don't think he really truly believed me. This hurt. I was truly hurt. I have grown up quite a bit. Yes I still party. Yes I still meet guys. Yes I still am looking for happiness. BUT....I now party with friends. I now let my friends know who I am with, where we are going, and when I will be home. I am hoping that as time goes by I will regain some of that trust that was lost.  |
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You were SO smart to ditch the guy at Grahams! Be firm. And what a butt head for being so arrogant to think he can tell you that you will be taking him to your place! Meeting some stranger sounds too scary for words tho. I guess being with a friend gives you more bravery but I would have been tempted to drop her at Love's and head home. I know, not nice to your friend but it's in my head that by changing locations you will die (It's a survival strategy if being kidnapped). You are a MUCH better friend than I to take her to meet a new man, then wait while she gets laid by a stranger. I would have told her she was nuts and on her own, LOL. Yeah, I'm a scaredy cat!
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