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Blogs > 80sbaby71 > Life in the Nursery~

LOVE  

80sbaby71 52F
7366 posts
4/2/2009 11:30 am
LOVE

Love....what is it really? I mean you "love" your spouse, , family, but how do you distinguish the different types of love?

I still love my soon to be ex. Not the same love that it was when we met 20+ years ago, but love none the less. He will always be a part of me. We shared some good times, and a lot of hard times. So yes I still love him.

I love my daughters. Each one of them is unique and special to me. The love that I have for them is something that is undescribable. My oldest is always going to be my first born. My youngest will always be my miracle. The one in between will always be the angel.

I love my past lovers. I believe that every person we left into our hearts will always leave a piece of themselves. I feel like I have learned from most of them. The ones who hurt me taught me lessons. And the ones who loved me will always share a place in my heart.

I love my friends. I have female and male friends. I have no problem telling either sex that I love them. When I tell my male friends that I love them it does not mean "love" in the OMG I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU sense. Nor does me telling my female friends that I love them mean that I am a lesbian. I am lucky to have friends of both sexes that share my heart.

I love someone right now. This person is someone from my past who I have always had feelings for. We still see each other occasionally. I flirt, he flirts, nothing more. He recently told me that he has a girlfriend. When he told me this, I was struck by the way it hit me. I mean we had never really discussed being a couple. I saw him the other night and I posed that question. Why did you not say you were looking for something more? Why couldn't it have been me? I mean we had a great time in and out of the bedroom. We could sit and talk, listen to music, watch movies and just hang out. He told me that he did not think I was looking for a relationship. I said I did not think he was either.

So now my question is, how do you look when you are looking for a relationship? I mean do you need to say it upfront? I AM LOOKING FOR A COMMITMENT! I WANT A MAN! RELATIONSHIP WANTED, APPLY HERE! Yeah right! Do something like that and most guys will exit stage right, IMMEDIATELY! LOL

So love, what is it? Why don't we know it until it is too late in some cases?

Just a thought. I mean right now I am home sick and have nothing else to do but ponder my so called life!
PonyGirl1965 58F
22090 posts
4/7/2009 6:03 pm

 Murphy's Law - If we are looking for a relationship, it will elude us endlessly. If we are just relaxing and having a good time, WHAM! a relationship will find us.


Ubermik 56M
209 posts
4/8/2009 4:13 pm

 Love is a mental illness closely related to delusion

But luckily its not as bad as it sounds because very few people ever experience it, although most will claim or believe they have

Look at the majority of people you know. They will claim to have loved someone or several people in the past but dont love them now?

Is that love? I think not, they probably REALLY liked them, or at least certain aspects of them. But the modern definition of love lowers the bar so low that any form of above average affection, lust or infatuation can and is classed as and accsepted to be love.

Real love doesnt need you to still be with a person, it doesnt rely on compatibility nor does it ever stop

Real love (in my opinion) will outlive a relationship, it can co exist with a severe dislike and even hatred of a person for what they did later on

Real love is the thing that will still make your heart skip a beat decades after the last time you saw them and even if youre currently in love with someone else because once imprinted on you it might fade slightly but it never goes

I think many people are too busy looking for a fairy tale or soap opera/hollywood romance type thing to ever look for anything real. They want, even NEED a dalliance to be "it". So they see everything as far more than it really is as tho doing so will make it become that

The problem with that kind of outlook is that the normal everyday reality based stuff doesnt happen in fairy tales. So the moment real life starts to happen they assume this cant now be love, lose interest and move on. With the modern trendy next step being to cut off all ties with that person

Havent you noticed how few people nowadays have ANY contact with ex's or ever have anything good to say about them? Even when they have had kids together?

How many put their friends above their partners, have secrets, etc etc etc

When surely a "love" should not just be A friend, but your best friend, the one person you have no secrets from, the person who remain a friend even if the relationship ends etc etc

So, are we as a society actually losing the real concept of what love is and what A love is like? Has the media irreversibly tainted our estimations and expectations to the point where we majoratively have lowered the bar so much for something to be classed as love that almost any form of dalliance can be believed to be love?

Just a few musings on the topic

Mike


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