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| Blogs > peekabooicu2ucme > Musings and mayhem of my mind |
What's the oddest thing you've ever been asked/told?
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What's the oddest thing you've ever been asked/told? Today was the birthday girl's day so what birthday girl wants she gets (within reason of course) and so of course this meant a day with the ex. Fine, ok family time, I can deal with it. Graciously even. I have a lot of patience. Really I do. But the more the man talks, the more I have to straighten my face so as not to give away my inner dialog that saves me from saying terrible things unless of course I'm not entirely sober. That is a different story though. Totally sober today. So I take these statements and I do what I can with them to keep a peaceful time in front of our . Here are some of the statements/questions I got today and over the years. In parenthesis are my inner thoughts that I had to bite my tongue not to say, in quotes is my actual answers/responses. Please, feel free to share any odd little gems you may have as well so we can all laugh uncomfortably before moving on and shaking our heads.  "I want to be with only you." (It took you how many girlfriends during our marriage to come to this epic conclusion?) "But what about what I want?" "I want you to want to be with me too." (You're kidding me right? You actually said that? Oh God, that's just sad. He's serious.) "It's not going to happen." "Are your dates nicer looking than I am?" (Complex much? Why does it matter? Was I in a contest? Shit, this is a trick question with no right answer.) "They're all ok just like you." "I love you." (I know you think you do, but you really aren't sure of what that really means.) "Thank you." "Wanna?" (Dear god yes, but not with you.) "That's not appropriate any more." "Do you like the flowers I got you?" (You bought me dead things that I will have to throw out instead of springing for new sneakers for the girls, gee thanks.) "They're pretty, and I know you were thinking of me, but it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable." "I can fuck anyone and not feel anything whatsoever about them. A pussy is just a pussy. It's not attached to anything special." (Wow, could've told me this years ago and saved me from a lot of things. Thanks for making me feel like nothing so much as a warm dick holder.) "So what's so special about a dick? Why shouldn't I just go out and find another one. They're not attached to anything special right?" "That's different." "I've been defending you to the people that think you used me." (Instead of attacking me like usual? How chivalrous! How on earth could anyone think I used you? I ended up broker than hell when we were together. Odd these 'people'.) "O.K." "When do you think you'll find a real relationship? Are you looking for one?" (What makes you think I'd just want to jump into one with just anybody? I'm being selective. Of course I'd like a really great relationship. I'm just not settling for the first guy that thinks I'm hot or offers me a 'ride'. Think I want to be stuck with another you?) "I have no idea. I'll keep looking." "Can we still date after I move out?" (If I wanted to be with you don't you think I'd want you to stay instead of kicking you out?) "No." "My friend lost all respect for you when you kicked me out." (I gained all sorts of respect for myself when I did.) "I'm so sorry to hear that he was disappointed in me." "You're a lying back-stabbing !" (Really? I haven't slept with anyone since you, yet you had way more sex when we were married than I ever did...and it was all with you, and I didn't lie, I simply didn't tell you what you wanted to hear.) "If that's what helps you to sleep at night it's ok to call me names." Anywho those are the ones off the top of my head that have floated to the surface while I'm sitting here typing. Of course there are many more but I'm done for the day and I'll let it all go and stay on the page. Some people may find this uncomfortable, or many other things. I find them funny. I really do. Maybe not at the time, but that's ok to. I read a statement once and I don't know where the quote comes from but it struck true for me. "All of life is a comedy, and therein lies the tragedy." That's how I feel anyways, I laugh at everything. No matter how awkward, tragic, sad, devastating, depressing, ect. I find the humor in it and I pick at it until I can laugh out loud. It is how I cope. I've been told that is kind of sick. I think it's the healthiest thing I can do. So laugh with me and spill!  |
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7/26/2009 5:33 pm |
No thats not sick it's being honest and realistic you have to laugh out loud, Yes it is the healthiest thing to do. My one and only thing i got told, was when my Fiance of 7 years slept with my best mate(and i walked in on them) was it's not you it's me( My thought was yeah it is you your a slag and you just like to sleep around)my actual words were maybe your right! then i thought Doh why did i say that idiot.
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7/26/2009 11:16 pm |
And people who do save time and get there quickly. There's not a damn thing wrong with crazy. I don't think I could have survived those questions/comments without going to a giving it right back. LOL. "I want to be with only you." and now you're with only you, have fun with that. "I love you." and I love cheese cake "Wanna?" No words necessary, just laugh uncontrollably while shaking your head "Do you like the flowers I got you?" I think you should have went with what you were thinking, You should have spent it on sneakers for the girls. "Are your dates nicer looking than I am?" No, I've developed a thing for fat, balding trolls. The fatter the better. "I can fuck anyone and not feel anything whatsoever about them. A pussy is just a pussy. It's not attached to anything special." That's cause you're a dick, and it's what dicks do. "I've been defending you to the people that think you used me." and I wonder how they got that impression, couldn't have been anything you've said. "When do you think you'll find a real relationship?" What time are you leaving? "Are you looking for one?" No, I'm still trying to find Jesus "Can we still date after I move out?" Sure, I've got a date next Tues, how's your luck been? Oh, did you mean each other? "My friend lost all respect for you when you kicked me out." I guess that's why he'd be YOUR friend, maybe he should let you move in. "You're a lying back-stabbing whore!" You should really get treatment for that turrets of yours. I do actually feel sorry for the guy though. I'm not exactly proud of the way I acted and the things I've said during my divorce. It brings out the worst in you. Sometimes you say and do things you wouldn't normally do just because it is so painful.
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And people who do save time and get there quickly. There's not a damn thing wrong with crazy. I don't think I could have survived those questions/comments without going to a giving it right back. LOL. "I want to be with only you." and now you're with only you, have fun with that. "I love you." and I love cheese cake "Wanna?" No words necessary, just laugh uncontrollably while shaking your head "Do you like the flowers I got you?" I think you should have went with what you were thinking, You should have spent it on sneakers for the girls. "Are your dates nicer looking than I am?" No, I've developed a thing for fat, balding trolls. The fatter the better. "I can fuck anyone and not feel anything whatsoever about them. A pussy is just a pussy. It's not attached to anything special." That's cause you're a dick, and it's what dicks do. "I've been defending you to the people that think you used me." and I wonder how they got that impression, couldn't have been anything you've said. "When do you think you'll find a real relationship?" What time are you leaving? "Are you looking for one?" No, I'm still trying to find Jesus "Can we still date after I move out?" Sure, I've got a date next Tues, how's your luck been? Oh, did you mean each other? "My friend lost all respect for you when you kicked me out." I guess that's why he'd be YOUR friend, maybe he should let you move in. "You're a lying back-stabbing whore!" You should really get treatment for that turrets of yours. I do actually feel sorry for the guy though. I'm not exactly proud of the way I acted and the things I've said during my divorce. It brings out the worst in you. Sometimes you say and do things you wouldn't normally do just because it is so painful.  Crazy? I'm not sure what normal is, but it doesn't look like much fun. Thank you so much for your little one liners. Had me laughing so hard tears came to my eyes! I actually feel a bit of pity for the guy too, which is part of why I try to hold onto that brain to mouth filter. I have tons of empathy. He's not 100% bad obviously, there was a reason I was with him at one point, I just ran out of reasons to stay. And yes, pain and frustration do tend to bring out the worst in people. I get tons of apologies all the time as well. I'd just prefer to move on to the adult stage, of ok you're the dad I'm the mom let's raise these girls together, just in different homes and hell let's respect each other and each others personal lives as well. It would be so much more pleasant.
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That's beautiful! I'll have to remember that the next time he starts being....well himself. Thanks and welcome to my blog! 
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