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| Blogs > Mygentlecaress > From The Urinal |
Classic 's TV Shows Exposed!
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Classic 's TV Shows Exposed! Masters Of The Universe  Well, what can be said about this classic show? It was full to the brim with homoeroticism, repressed sexuality, sexual tension, persecution and scandal. Whilst on the surface the story may seem quite clear cut, i.e. the forces of evil (headed by Skeletor) wage an ongoing battle against the forces of good (championed by He Man) the underlying truth was anything but! In fact the true story was whitewashed in order to pander for a targeted young demographic. Where to begin? Well, let us look at the plight of poor Prince Adam; Here was a man clearly in sexual denial. An air to the throne of Eternia, the young prince struggled with the conflict between that which was expected of him in relation to his royal duties and his overt homosexuality. As a result, Adam developed a split personality disorder, his subsequent alter ego being an oiled down, tanned, gay pin up called He Man. Despite this ater ego looking virtually identical to Adam, the Eternian natives were obviously somewhat thick and never realised that the two characters were in fact one and the same person! In the guise of He Man, Adam would prance about with a large phallic sword battling the evil Skeletor and his decidedly gormless lackeys. Here again though was a gross misconconception, for far from being the villain of the piece, Skeletor was in fact the hapless victim of a cruel campaign of defamation and persecution. Afflicted with a horrific instance of necrotizing fasciitis which had eaten away the entire flesh covering his face, Skeletor was scapegoated for merely looking different. In fact, this hostility on the part of He Man was also evident off set as was summed up perfectly in an interview recorded recently; Skeletor had this to say, 'Ha Ha Ha! Heeee Mannnnnnn treated me in a manner not disimilar to something Battlecat may have passed out of his arse.' Meanwhile, Teela, the shows heroine recalls to have some unhappy memories of the time shooting: 'He Man was a right bastard to work with; He was a coke headed arsehole and was aggresive to all around him. In fact the only people he actually got along with were the succession of rent boys who frequented his trailer....' Amidst such a negative onset vibe, it was a wonder that the show lasted as long as it did but matters did eventually reach a stormy conclusion one day when an onset fight broke out between He Man and the diminuitive actor playing comic sidekick, Orco. During an ensuing row, He Man called him a 'dwalf arsed bastard' before proceeding to beat the actor with Man At Arms helmet causing an injury that neccesitated the little fellow to spend the next week in hospital. He Man was promptly fired and found himself on the receiving end of a lawsuit. The shows makers toyed with the idea of calling in a replacement and even had one lined up, namely Lion-O from the up and coming Thundercats but in the end felt that the show had run its course and decided to call it a day. Following the shows cancellation, with a tarnished reputation hanging over him, He Man found acting jobs difficult to come by and languished in a series of small and somewhat embarrising bit parts such as playing a beach extra on Baywatch. The struggling actor briefly turned to the world of professional bodybuilding in an attempt to salvage his career but further disgrace was to follow when he tested positive for anabolic steroids and was promptly disqualified from the 1988 Mr Olympia championships. Now retired from the industry, he runs a small burger van called, Greyskull Burgers, a not so clever reference to Castle Greyskull from Masters Of the Universe. Skeletor on the other hand has continued in the acting business and most recently was seen as Nicolas Cage's alter ego in the big screen version of Ghost Rider. Asked the question if he felt sorry for He Man's somewhat miserable career end he replied, 'Ha Ha ha Heeeeee Mannnnnnnn! I'd sooner eat Beastman's shit than one of your burgers!' |
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Lol what an interesting topic! My brother had He-man and Skeleton toys and we used to fight... of course, I was He-man: blonde, good and unbeatable... now reading about He-man's future, I'm not quite sure I chose the best toy...  Great blog!
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lol I loved the toys - I especially used to like the spring loaded punch mechanisms 
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Never really liked HeMan, blondes have never relaly done it for me! Sheera was pretty sexy though 
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She Ra........MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! 
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