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| Blogs > thegrlsnme > Thoughts from a late bloomer |
what would you do/another shaking my head moment
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what would you do/another shaking my head moment Good evening, I hope this finds you with that secret smile on your face. My physical therapist, released me for work. Hopefully the doctor will on Tuesday. It seems i get more accomplished when I am busy. It's been great being off, but I am ready to go back to work. I should have blogged on this a week ago, but I pondered on it for a few days. Ladies and gentlemen, if you are on any site at all that involves pictures and physical attributes, please be honest, and up to date. If you do a meet n greet, everything is out there. Please do not be someone's surprise. Especially, when I am up front about everything, including making sure you read my profile. I even ask have you read it, are you okay with everything posted. THE MEET N GREET FROM HELL You flew in from out of state. You told me for one night, and it was 2. I have other plans on that 2nd day. You are sitting at the table in the restaurant. First glance, you are unkempt, it looks like you slept in your clothes. You might have showered. You order a salad. you are basically a pig. Food all over, you pick it up with your fingers, and when you are finished, you have it on your hands, shirt. Conversation was awesome. 2 beers and we talked a couple hours. I asked him to walk to the car with me. At that time he informs me, he can not walk well. I shake my head, and roll into the being someone's surprise spiel. I was not rude. He: So, you are pissed off because i have difficulty walking. Me: The fact you didn't tell me before you flew out here. Before I agreed to meet. I had decided pretty much when I met him, it was not going anywhere. I felt sorry for the guy. He really could not hardly walk at all. He was a mess. We talked, I explained myself about the walking issue. I wanted him to understand it was not because of that. I didn't feel anything at all, there was no spark for me. That is the main reason it never got out of the starting gate. This has bothered me, it still does. My friend Sharon, told me she would have been rude regardless of the walking issues and him being forthcoming and walked out. What would you have done. Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls |
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I would have tried to be as polite as possible, and end the meeting quickly. I had a bad one but too long to just write here in the comments section. Don't feel bad, you done nothing wrong!!!!  WITHOUT PASSION LIFE IS NOTHING
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We always hope that the chemistry will be there especially if we've been chatting a while and seemed to relate well to each other. But then you meet. Unfortunately, what some say are current pictures, were current many years ago. Do they think you'll be oblivious to that fact when they actually meet? Appearance undeniably is part of the attraction. If from the get- go he or she does not appeal to you, which seems to be the case before he even mentioned his inability to walk well, unless that person turns out to be an amazing conversationalists, intriguing and irresistibly flirtatious, so much so that their physicality no longer repulses you, the best thing to do is finish up your meal and make a polite exit, which is what you did. It should be understood before meeting by both parties, nothing is a guarantee. Disappointing, yes, but it's a risk you take.
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I think you handled the situation very wee. You were both diplomatic and assertive.  
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I always tell people to be up front and honest. For instance, a newcomer at our kink club told me he was married and his wife didn't know he was there. I wasn't going to judge his situation, but I told him to make sure that anybody he is interested in knows those details so she can make an informed choice before getting involved. He was able to find someone who was okay with that. Being honest might narrow down their opportunities, but the end result will be the right person. When you are dishonest or purposely hiding the truth, the other person will almost always be pissed off when they find out, and that will be the end of it. [post 3097853] Come join the half-nekkid fun! Check out HNW Bloggers.  
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Speaking up for the disabled here, dont bite my head off. If a man is disabled, his chance of getting a date is about 99/1 against, just because of his disability! If a woman is disabled, she has a slightly better chance, tho, to be fair, their are predators out there seeking disabled women! If a profile of what a woman is seeking doesnt say she wants someone that can walk well, or do other specific activities, is it the man's fault if he doesnt speak up about his failings? If you go for a job interview, an employer not only cannot ask about your med history or even a visible disability, unless you volunteer the info. I myself have gone to a meet and learned when the woman walked in with a cane, or even in a wheelchair, that she was disabled, and had no hint beforehand. I take people for for their personalities, not their apperance or their ability or lack thereof to do something physical that I can do. Yes, you might think non-disclosure is a deception, but did you really give the guy a chance, other than a walk to your car suggestion that was properly refused?
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Am sorry, in going back and reading your blog more carefully, YES, you did give him a chance and then some, and sounds like he was deceptive with you on more than one issue. My question then, if you had made up your mind before you asked him to walk you to your car, WHY did you ask him to even do that? I have had many a date that never went beyond the first meet, and maybe I knew when she left, maybe I didnt, but I think you may have encouraged him just a bit with your request, and yeah, I know, you maybe were just being polite, in the hopes he didnt turn out to be a stalker or something, but. ...... if had been me on that date, I WOULD have felt encouraged, in the light of not being told your thoughts before the request.
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I would have been just as nice as you and been truthful about him not telling you the truth. I hate when that happens, no matter if he's a sexy hot dude, If he lied then he lied or didn't tell the whole truth. Not a good start!! You did the right thing, don't feel sorry for him.. Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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I used to think distance didn't matter, but it does............thegrls Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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Had it been me I would have tried to have an enjoyable, one-night only, dinner, shook her hand, and come home a blogged about it. Like you? I don't see that you did anything wrong, considering what he did. Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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I would have tried to be as polite as possible, and end the meeting quickly. I had a bad one but too long to just write here in the comments section. Don't feel bad, you done nothing wrong!!!! Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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We always hope that the chemistry will be there especially if we've been chatting a while and seemed to relate well to each other. But then you meet. Unfortunately, what some say are current pictures, were current many years ago. Do they think you'll be oblivious to that fact when they actually meet? Appearance undeniably is part of the attraction. If from the get- go he or she does not appeal to you, which seems to be the case before he even mentioned his inability to walk well, unless that person turns out to be an amazing conversationalists, intriguing and irresistibly flirtatious, so much so that their physicality no longer repulses you, the best thing to do is finish up your meal and make a polite exit, which is what you did. It should be understood before meeting by both parties, nothing is a guarantee. Disappointing, yes, but it's a risk you take. Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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I know what I would have done had I known. I know myself............thegrls Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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I think you handled the situation very wee. You were both diplomatic and assertive. Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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I always tell people to be up front and honest. For instance, a newcomer at our kink club told me he was married and his wife didn't know he was there. I wasn't going to judge his situation, but I told him to make sure that anybody he is interested in knows those details so she can make an informed choice before getting involved. He was able to find someone who was okay with that. Being honest might narrow down their opportunities, but the end result will be the right person. When you are dishonest or purposely hiding the truth, the other person will almost always be pissed off when they find out, and that will be the end of it. Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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I totally agree as well. That' why I am up front with guys.............thegrls Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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Am sorry, in going back and reading your blog more carefully, YES, you did give him a chance and then some, and sounds like he was deceptive with you on more than one issue. My question then, if you had made up your mind before you asked him to walk you to your car, WHY did you ask him to even do that? I have had many a date that never went beyond the first meet, and maybe I knew when she left, maybe I didnt, but I think you may have encouraged him just a bit with your request, and yeah, I know, you maybe were just being polite, in the hopes he didnt turn out to be a stalker or something, but. ...... if had been me on that date, I WOULD have felt encouraged, in the light of not being told your thoughts before the request. Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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Speaking up for the disabled here, dont bite my head off. If a man is disabled, his chance of getting a date is about 99/1 against, just because of his disability! If a woman is disabled, she has a slightly better chance, tho, to be fair, their are predators out there seeking disabled women! If a profile of what a woman is seeking doesnt say she wants someone that can walk well, or do other specific activities, is it the man's fault if he doesnt speak up about his failings? If you go for a job interview, an employer not only cannot ask about your med history or even a visible disability, unless you volunteer the info. I myself have gone to a meet and learned when the woman walked in with a cane, or even in a wheelchair, that she was disabled, and had no hint beforehand. I take people for for their personalities, not their apperance or their ability or lack thereof to do something physical that I can do. Yes, you might think non-disclosure is a deception, but did you really give the guy a chance, other than a walk to your car suggestion that was properly refused? Enjoy the ride searching for what you want here..........thegrls
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