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| Blogs > New2Midlo > Fun with a normal white guy... |
FWB And The Foundations Of Language
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FWB And The Foundations Of Language I hate Kansas and regret moving here (more on that in posts to come), but I remain single (another topic I'll cover). Because I plan on getting the fuck out of here as soon as it's feasible, I don't have much of a desire to meet 'someone special' and put down roots. However, there are certain needs that remain unfilled, obviously, so I've been on the hunt for something more casual. Early last week, I found a woman on another site who said she was looking for a friend with benefits. Perfect, I thought, and sent her a note. What followed was an exchange that continues to befuddle and frustrate me, a little. I'll spare you the blow by blow, but when I began moving the conversation into naughtier waters, she made it clear we'd have to develop a connection before we jumped into the sack. That she loved her last FWB and wanted the same thing in a new one. I sort of scratched my head and responded that the absence of an emotional connection is an existential requirement for FWB arrangements. That even the Oxford Dictionary defined it as a casual sexual relationship and all of my previous FWB arrangements fell within that dynamic. She said FWB can mean different things and it comes down to those who are engaged in it. And why was I so hung up on definitions? At that point, she also accused me of mansplaining. Clearly, there are at least two words / phrases that don't mean what she thinks they do. The point I decided to not try to make with her is that shared meaning of words and phrases are how we effectively communicate with one another. It's the basis for fucking language! We can't just decide to adopt our own meaning for generally accepted words and concepts or language breaks down. If you consider hiking to be wearing hiking boots while standing up on a long board as it rides a wave, you can't just say 'Perhaps I do hiking differently than the textbook definition.' No, you're not hiking, you're surfing! Likewise, if you're expecting an emotional connection to a FWB, you're doing it wrong. Hoping your weekend was more fruitful than mine! |
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While snorkeling, I was terrified by the gazelle that came swimming by. It was impossible to miss, with it's massive amount of teeth and prominent dorsal fin.
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I did have my own definition of FWB, who knew it was in the dictionary. A friend with benefits to me was always someone with whom I have a connection with, perhaps loved but not in love with. Obviously in any situation conversation is paramount to figuring out what page everyone is on.
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well...i guess i am wrong then... in my definition, FWB is a friend with benefit...which means, we are friends, so we do the stuff like dating...and then some...which is the benefit part... of course, i am married and not particularly looking for FWB...fuck that...i don't need some one to go out or watch movies together...that's what the friends would do... so i am looking for "Fuck Buddies"... but again...that's my definition...i am just saying...
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Just move on to the next person. Early on ask what she wants. Not the right woman? Move on again. Humans are the most dangerous animals on earth. If only animals had the ability to know when to keep away from us humans they would be better off.
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6/3/2018 5:20 pm |
I had a FWB and it was very awesome because there's no drama involved just pure fun.
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I did have my own definition of FWB, who knew it was in the dictionary. A friend with benefits to me was always someone with whom I have a connection with, perhaps loved but not in love with. Obviously in any situation conversation is paramount to figuring out what page everyone is on. When an arrangement is being made with potential "benefits" I'm rarely the first one to bring up sex. IME, when the woman brings it up first that is a point where she is comfortable with it and is a lot more likely to happen. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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6/3/2018 6:02 pm |
Always seems funny how adults can be on a Adult sexual site and have so much trouble with the FWB term...Perhaps SSF (Strictly Sexual Friend) would be more understandable...
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BTW, don't think I was completely unfeeling to my previous FWB's. I cared about all of them and we would do things beyond taking care of our needs; dinner, seeing a show, etc. I'm not sure how it happened, but my last three FWB's all had doctorates or JD's, so the conversation was incredibly engaging (I miss it a lot). So, I genuinely I valued the companionship of each one. But there was no expectation of things progressing any further. All of them wanted that next step, but that's another topic.
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"Friends" is the safe word.Like a get out of jail free card.When something else is brewing with someone else. Well I did say we were friends! Using more than all the road!
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