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Blogs > MBm2fWidow > The Widow's Watch

.... days are nights and nights are days ....  

MBm2fWidow 70T
118 posts
4/29/2018 6:41 pm
.... days are nights and nights are days ....
.... days are nights and nights are days .... I slowly walk around this house in numbed awareness of the physical pain ... trying to keep order, control ... feeling the chemical confusion in my brain .... moving at a very slow pace .... deep breathing exercise to push myself forward ... forcing my body to stand up to stand straight when I become aware I am slouched over as I move ... it's harder the weaker I feel ... this cross is heavy .... Life struggling to grow ... to heal. How much of this is chemically induced? I suppose all of it.... whether its cancer or another disease .... Im 64 .... fighting to come back again.... i look in the mirror and although I recognize myself it is the reflection of a me I only thought I might imagine one day. The day is now ...arriving sooner thanI planned... forget plans huh? This is 24/7 months of side effects from drugs and chemicals ....... Better living through Chemistry ..... longer living surely ... better? not sure yet ... ask me when I get out of this battle. Which the next infusion first week of May is getting very close. When I feel most medicated ... I feel the most peaceful. Being aware that my consciousness is evolving is both frightening and fascinating.
1313sbjsr 68M
38 posts
4/18/2021 2:43 pm

 Hey girl,,,, hope ur still out there & doin well!!!


Reddiplay 64M
4 posts
12/5/2020 8:10 am

 Fascinating post as you transition or are having a difficult time with it. I have to say knowing that you have recovered I am simply astonished at how strong, vibrant, positive, happy, vivacious, outgoing, and upbeat a woman you are. You truly are someone that a man could easily fall in love with. ❤️


copperhorse26 70M
38 posts
10/2/2019 8:20 am

 I wish I knew if you were ok, living I hope but April 2018 the last time you wrote looks like. Please let me know how your doing if your doing. If not I pray that all is well in heaven. Because with that beautiful great smile of yours. I love you and you know that . Prayers all for you
your pal
Jim


Califgoldenrod16 69M  
43 posts
6/15/2019 3:20 pm

 Hey you!! I had brain surgery last year on my birthday no less!! I'm thinking of you....don't be a stranger!!


copperhorse26 70M
38 posts
2/5/2019 12:01 pm

 My heart and soul's praying for you to a speedy recovery. think of all the hot romantic kisses I have store up for you. You are loved my child.
sincerely
Jim
palm springs, CA. 92262


DDreams524 71M

11/1/2018 6:30 pm

 Wish I was there, to hold you, nurture, comfort and care for you in my arms. To cuddle with you and do my best to make this better for you. I hope this helps to lift you a bit. Imagine you are cuddle in my arms.


copperhorse26 70M
38 posts
6/27/2018 4:06 am

 Who loves you? You know. Smile I know you know it.
kisses for my special lady..
Jim


cocoa41660 60F
11 posts
5/29/2018 1:39 pm

 your a cool woman who ever did your body did a fantastic job!


CERVANTES44444 55M
183 posts
5/21/2018 3:46 am

 COOL


OpenmindedinY 50M
188 posts
5/1/2018 6:58 pm

 I hope you do well and beat what ever it is you need to beat and hang in there.


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