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| Blogs > yesmamallthetime > Mellifluous Musings |
A Man From Long Ago. A Poem
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A Man From Long Ago. A Poem Have you shown me your heart? Your empathy and compassion? Please let it not be for show. A facade to just get close. I remember an episode. My first lover How he spoke with Such care and understanding. How he even cried In front of me. I thought to myself He was kind and caring So I let my guard down. He was recently broken up From some out of state girlfriend. I thought he was available. I thought he could be the one We each had our demons We could join forces And together We could fight them. We had wonderful conversations Such cerebral stimulation He was cute With his slightly upturned nose. With lips that almost always Seemed arranged in a smile They looked like kisses Were made for them. Were mine the perfect fit? That was my thought. I was 21 He had just turned 27 On April 4th. Yes that day has significance. Double sailboats Portending not a very good hand. He was a twin To a sister. She was so much more Put together Like his other ones. He the only boy So he was spoiled. Throughout his life All his troubles All his scrapes Were dealt with Fixed as best as possible Little scarring to show Until he lost Too much control. That with the help Of alcohol. Then it was rehab Or he would Lose it all. He went to AA religiously Although he followed No religion. He was an atheist Having learned too much About life's absurdities And existentialism. His higher power I can't recall What he thought About that Except that he Knew it was mostly A day job. Oh yes, he said God Was an anacronym For good orderly direction. One day at a time Dealing with cravings Dealing with negativity Not beating himself up For his failings. The serenity prayer Coming in handy Again and again. Where did I fit in? I cringe now thinking How freaking naive I was I was to be His first virgin. Something he could reminisce Perhaps recall fondly The girl whose High heel shoes From our first date He bought As a keepsake. When he told me He didn't want to See me anymore That he was going Back to the out of state girlfriend I slapped him Across the face And said What were the tears for? The tears he shed That made me think He was human And not a monster. He seemed to think The slap was befitting For he apologized For treating me so bad. We sat in his living room Rocking chairs Sparsely furnished By design For he had millions In a trust fund That he lived off of He explained about the ex How she needed him. I was in shock Here I thought I found the love Of my life But he just Thought of me As a lark. I was glad for The rocking chairs It had a calming effect He had to give me A ride home To my dorm on campus. On the way there He played Diana Ross And the Supremes Ain't No Mountain High Enough He was fond of the group And joked he wish He had a chorus Who followed him And backed him up. It's been a while since Went into such detail Of this farce. How I realize It's par for the course My life one episode Of getting close After another Just to suffer<b> rejection </font></b>And heartache Not long after. I know I am not the only one. I know there are many In this lonely and Broken hearted club. We have stories Many chapters If I meet you there Will you show me Actual kindness Or will it be for show Like this man from long ago? Independently Romantic Sounds Better Than Lonely |
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