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Much can change, much stays the same  

kimdao1 43F  
68 posts
5/17/2017 5:53 am
Much can change, much stays the same


So yeah, I didn't keep this blog up quite like I thought I would. Last summer things got into a routine and then it all came apart really.

First, a confrontation between me and him about his cheating ways became a big blowup and we almost separated. He just cant help himself with women. if not for our , I'd have left his ass. I just felt so worthless emotionally that I kinda shut down and didn't see anyone or really talk to anyone from here for most of the summer.

For now, we've patched things together and admitted that we've both seen other people regularly. I guess at this point that is just how its going to be for awhile. I don't know if our marriage is going to make it long term, and I don't know if he can stand sharing me in the same room or me him, but we've talked about trying that.

Then we had a death in my family, a cousin not much older than me died from an overdose of pain killers, so the holidays kinda sucked after that.

I was seeing Doc fairly often before this all, but this drama affected that, and he went through something back in the winter where he shut down and really didn't talk for quite some time. He seems alright now and we've seen each other since but with me trying to do something for this situation with my husband, I think we're just keeping up with each other from afar.

But, still horny as hell, still want to find new ladies to meet, and its bikini season! Its just that you never have time to do anything anymore once you have , and no way to pawn them off on grandparents really for me. Its like i'm stuck.

bulehyatt 65M  
1717 posts
5/18/2017 7:42 pm

I just felt so worthless emotionally that I kinda shut down and didn't see anyone or really talk to anyone from here for most of the summer.

A couple of comments, Kim.

I can't speak for women - sorta obviously - but I suspect that women as well as (for sure) men . . . crave both stability in their marriage and variety in their sex lives. The socially acceptable way to indulge sexual variety is fantasy (strictly in your mind) or role-play (persuading your partner to act differently than real life).

Somewhere between 1 in 20 and 1 in 25 of couples (call it 4 to 5 per cent) have "open" marriages where they agree that their partner can taste pussy (or dick) not belonging to them. But I suppose "cheating ways" . . . borrowing your description of your husband . . . are probably a lot more common than open marriages - a LOT more common.

The statistics I quoted about open marriages come from a Tedx talk by a relationships-counselor called Maureen McGrath. You may like to look for it on ewe tube.

I don't know you Kim, except from reading your blog, scanning your profile and seeing various comments you post on other people's blogs. But my encouragement to you is to not blame yourself for your Husband's behavior. You seem attractive both physically (duh!) and mentally. You're intelligent, articulate, perceptive, caring and you take good care of your body.

Married couples can somehow push each others buttons - not in a good way, at times. But don't beat yourself up or feel down on yourself when your guy thinks with his dick. Unless he's a step slow with his big brain, I expect he probably thinks you rock in the grand scheme of things.

Sex is complicated for a lot of people. Different if your guy is cruel and hurtful to you emotionally; like if you feel he is deliberately trying to cause you distress. But sex can also be just a fun, friendly bit of physical activity.

Whether his "cheating ways" put your marriage at risk is obviously between the two of you to work out. But don't let them ever put your self-image at risk. You seem to have it going on, Kim - give yourself more credit. Love yourself, ya. You deserve it!


DoctorBooty 43M
6426 posts
5/19/2017 5:30 am

Do not let that man define your self-worth.


WookinPaNub3906 53M  
74 posts
6/16/2017 5:47 am

Even the best of relationships are hard damn work. I've never been married, and I certainly don't have kids so my perspective and ability to relate are minimal as an outsider. I have been cheated on before though. The first girl I ever said, "I love you" to. Caught her red-handed after 2.5yrs. I was naive, trusting and assumed people are as sincere as I am when in a relationship and expressing genuine love for that individual. Lesson learned. Good luck with what sounds like a difficult situation. Happy to listen, if you'd like to chat about it. Happy to distract you in other ways that could put a smile on your face as well


WookinPaNub3906 53M  
74 posts
9/18/2017 7:13 am

Good morning KimDao. I hope this note finds you in a better place emotionally at this point. Inner strength is something you seem to exude, even when major bumps in the road happen. It's an admirable quality that not everyone has. I can't imagine going through improprieties in a marriage, so my thoughts are with you there. my only way to relate is having been through that in LTRs that I THOUGHT were monogamous...boy was I wrong. You sound like a strong mom who has her kid's best interest at heart, which again is quite admirable. I wish you well with it, and if you'd ever like to talk, you have a fan and future friend whenever you're ready to reach back out. Have a great day, and I hope you had a great weekend!


jeff545418 68M
2 posts
7/11/2018 8:57 am

Kim, i have seen you on here before, and sent flirts, i just read your last Blog, i understand, i have been married for 20 years, found out my wife cheated on me 11 years a go when i had to have a 4 bypss heart surgery. that hurt me when i found out but, forgave her, then 5 years later, we still were fighting and she was controlling, so i ventured out to mmet someone that i could find comfort with, it did'nt work out and she caught wind of it. so i stopped, then 3 years ago, i finally meet some ladies, and had a great sexuall experience with them, boosted my confidence, in my self, but got caught when she reviewed our cell records. that was tough, but we were working thru it, then last year, she went crazy on me, and i ended up contacting a couple of ptp ladies on craigslist, so i could have sex. that ended up in a text from one she saw and we have been at wits end, she addmitted to 3 other affairs 11 years ago, that she constantly denied, and that really hurt me, but i forgave, so we could rebuild, but i hear eveery day about it, so i am back seeking a discreet, very discreet relationship. You are beautiful lady and have alot going for you, so hang in there, i am 64 and ready to take care of MY bucket list.


WookinPaNub3906 53M  
74 posts
1/9/2020 7:49 am

Would luv some 2020 updates from you on your Blog gorgeous! Happy New Year!


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