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"Drama-free" and "NSA"  

Red_Elf 51F
578 posts
3/20/2016 3:59 pm
"Drama-free" and "NSA"


Hey, I dislike drama at my core. I'm conflict avoidant to a fault. I'm learning to figure out my feelings after having to bury them while being married to someone with a "Dismissive Insecure" attachment style, i.e., an extreme self-protector that became verbally abusive whenever I tried to talk to him about how I felt. I have a very strong flight instinct.

This being said, people on here saying they want "no drama" or "NSA" don't seem like the kind of people that would know how to do either situation in healthy ways. People are, at their cores, emotional. NSA usually means someone is just fine with doing something stupid and letting you live with the consequences, because they aren't concerned about building even remotely compassionate or caring relationships with others. On one occasion, someone did something quite assholish to me as a result. I learned.

Today I read, " when people tell you they ‘don’t want drama’, they’re generally participatory in it – yet so passively that they don’t recognize it’s happening...you pull away a bit, you get those looks on your face or your voice has an edge that you don’t even notice (but that your partner feels), you take longer to answer a text or message, you don’t take the garbage out… Or they can be more pronounced, e.g, you haven’t felt like having sex (or find yourself frustrated/annoyed while doing so), you get bothered easily, pick small (or large) fights, you bail on a date, keep forgetting to do something important the other wants or needs. The list is endless.

Thus, If you’re conflict avoidant, you’ll likely trigger stronger reactions in the other than you would by just facing and talking about it. But most avoiders wonder “why is this person reacting so badly?” Think of it as setting a fire and then running, leaving it to others to clean it up."

So, if you are advertising things like, "drama-free," or "no strings attached," think about what you are communicating. It might be quite different from what you think is being said.

MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .

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StickyLips007 55F
231 posts
3/20/2016 4:04 pm

Yup, agreed. "Drama free" and "no strings attached" are two of the most meaningless things I have ever read on people's profiles.


Red_Elf replies on 3/20/2016 4:18 pm:
My immediate first thought is, "What is this person doing to upset so many people that he feels the need to announce he lacks any tolerance for an emotionally charged outcome?"

s2ndegree 65M
9800 posts
3/20/2016 4:44 pm

While NSA and drama free have their rightful place in the misrepresentation annals.I've been finding it's down to earth and open minded that are gaining quite rapidly and have more than a foot in the door of the same annals.
Lest not we forget actions speak louder than words!

Using more than all the road!


rickyspanish76 48M
7843 posts
3/20/2016 4:46 pm

Agree! I hate drama!


AmorphousAmor 64M
3574 posts
3/20/2016 5:10 pm

It is a bit disingenuous to think one might avoid acting emotionally in the most intimate of acts, especially if they are repeated with a partner over time...


Red_Elf replies on 3/20/2016 6:46 pm:
Exactly. As my main squeeze always says, "You can't expect people's feelings to stay the same."

tresennui 69F  
2482 posts
3/20/2016 5:19 pm

I have no problem with drama free and nsa for myself; however, when people state that's what they are looking for in their profile my assumption is they usually have an overabundance of drama in their life (often their doing) and are incapable of nsa or why do they even mention in.

My opinion is drama begets drama. Some people perpetuate it.

Tresennui
Succumbing to Curiosity...read me at tresennui


Red_Elf replies on 3/20/2016 6:47 pm:
You said: however, when people state that's what they are looking for in their profile my assumption is they usually have an overabundance of drama in their life (often their doing) and are incapable of nsa or why do they even mention i[t]."

Exactly my point, only you stated it so much more succinctly!

MulleenofMelb 58M
3024 posts
7/2/2017 11:51 pm

People are, at their cores, emotional.

Is that a large gospel choir I hear, in full voice!

Thoughts in sensual pleasure to erotic writing writ.

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