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Blogs > Mrsmollycarter69 > My Blog

FYI...bare with me...  

Mrsmollycarter69 38F
5 posts
2/24/2016 2:44 am
FYI...bare with me...
When I received the call from one of our friends telling me the news, to weak to stand I fell to my knees. I started to cry the worst type of crying there is, the silent one. The one where you feel it in your throat and your eyes become so blurry from the tears. The one where you grab and hold your stomach so tight that you can't breathe but at the same time you want to scream louder than you ever have before. But it's the one, all you can do is open your mouth Wide. And try to push Some type of sound out...despite all ur efforts u just dont.,.

I couldn't comprehend that my whole heart and soul was gone from this world and I didn't even say goodbye. That my Jace was no longer physically on this earth , and I could no longer run into his arms. A man who not only gave me, myself back, after an extremely physical and abusive narassistc ex, but he gave me, myself back full of life and love

He showed me I deserve love, and never to settle for anything less than the best.The man who always made sure I was smiling and felt like I was the most beautiful person every second of the day. No matter where we were or who we were with.

He was the one who showed me and made me feel for the first time what True Unconditional Love, was. And it's he most amazing feeling in the world,

There's no words that can be used to describe how this type of pain feels, It's truly the most excruciating and debilitating pain ever. I miss my best friend, and my heart has a whole in it that only he could fill....

I guess I will have to learn to walk beside my loss, because there just ain't no way thru it or around it.

So my apologies for being emotional over things just bare with me.
time4phun3 45M
46 posts
2/28/2016 7:02 am

 I'm truly sorry for your loss. We all hope and wish to meet someone who has that type of impact on our lives.


EasyriderNM 64M
3074 posts
3/18/2016 6:13 pm

 Having lost so many people of that caliber, I empathize with you.

Unfortunately, it never really gets any easier over time, no matter how thick your skin becomes. That sharp, hot knife just slides into your armor, regardless.

But you do learn to live with it, babe. Take care,
- Easy.
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