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For The Ladies:
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Posted:May 27, 2008 8:02 pm
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2008 10:58 pm
5163 Views
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A POEM ABOUT OUR GIRLFRIENDS
Someone will always be prettier.
Someone will always be smarter.
Some of thier houses will be bigger.
Some will drive a better car.
And thier husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it.
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job maybe unable to have .
And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes~~~might be lonely.
And the word says, 'If I have not Love, I am nothing.'
So, again, love you. Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say,
'I am to Blessed to be Stressed and too
Anointed, to be Disappointed!'
'Winners make thing happen~~~
Losers let things happen.'
Be 'Blessed' Ladies~~~
       
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Unfinished Story...So Sad!!!
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Posted:May 27, 2008 7:44 pm
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2008 10:57 pm
5224 Views
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This was started by me and some friends from one of the groups I'm in. Didn't go anywhere beyond this so I thought I would put it here and see how it gose. So, come finish our story. Get creatative!
Here is the start:
They had planned to go to a party out of town. Everything was going good and Cindy was getting excited about the thought. And then the day was here. They had gotten a motel room for the night. She was more excited about the fun that would come after the party then the party itself. There was nothing more exciting then good sex in a motel room. Cindy could not wait for the party to be over so they could leave. But soon enough it was over and they were driving back to the motel. She was driving and felt the excitement building inside her. She pulled into the parking lot. Pausing long enough to take a breathe. He came around the car and open the door for her. She step out of the car right into his arms.
Her skin tingled with his touch and she could feel her nipples hardening and wetness developing in her crotch as she realized that his erect manhood was pressing against her. She took a deep breath as she took him all in with her eyes. When their gazes met, Cindy knew that he was just as hot for her as she was for him. Sexual energy crackled in the air around and between them as they walked hand in hand towards the hotel room. With every step Cindy became more aroused and hungry for him. Thoughts and fantasies of what was soon to come crashed through her mind like waves running ashore. Her wetness was soon to be obvious if she could not control her wandering thoughts.
As they walk towards the room he whispers the erotic things that he will do to her...Cindy wanted to prolong these thought as long as she could....so, she steered him towards the pool. They talked about things they liked, sports, sex, and everything that we people enjoy when naked....like the last lick before we climax and how we want it to last forever. As they approached the pool, you could see the sea blue clearness. Cindy approaches the pool and looks back....are you going to join me??? she starts taking off her clothes.....topless she steps into the pool and looks back........are you going to join me???
Written so far by: Rosebud322, Love My DD's, 69cuple4hotsex
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The Why
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Posted:May 18, 2008 1:28 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2008 12:27 pm
5597 Views
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1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
One for the ladies.......
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma.'
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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Send this to at least five bright,funny women you know and maketheir day!
And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!
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Mother
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Posted:May 11, 2008 11:24 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2008 10:57 pm
5124 Views
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Found this in TMTM, posted done by JHinTracy. [group_post 1976452] Wanted to post it here to for all you to read. It is beautiful.
MOTHER'S DAY
It�s great that once a year the world does stop to honor, Mum,
For she�s so special in our lives, whoever we become.
And it doesn�t matter who we are in colour, race or creed,
We all have mum who gave us life and tended to our need.
Unique�s the only word to use, when you describe your mum,
For nine months you and she were one, then out to light you�d come.
And all throughout the growing years, when turmoil tossed you high,
She�d be there as comforter, the tears she�d wipe and dry.
Love and Patience were the tools, that mums used to shape us,
These artists worked with what they had, without frenzy or fuss.
They chipped away the rough spots till beauty would appear
In forms of being honest, truthful and sincere.
Remember in those early years, when life was school and sport,
And mum cut all those lunches and packed them in your port.
When school reports were glowing, and mum was proud as punch, that
teachers wrote such lovely things, about her honeybunch.
And discipline in by-gone days was part of daily fare,
A slap with ruler round the legs reminded you don�t dare
Do anything like that again or even worse could follow.
Mum didn�t want her to be, the hoodlums of tomorrow.
No one gives mums the medals, for the heroes that they are,
But their courage under fire, deserves no less by far.
Band-aiding bloodied arms and knees, curfews for getting home,
Battles fought for bathrooms, peace treaties by the tome.
Mums gave their time and energy and finance they had saved;
That we would be the best we could, was only what they craved.
And when we failed they hung in there, still doing what they could,
To have us see a better way, the way they saw as good.
For some of us just memories, are all that�s left of mum,
And how we wish we could rewind Time�s Clock, so we could come
Back to her loving presence and see her face to face,
Express our thanks and gratitude, with just one more embrace.
And those of you who still have mum alive and fit, okay,
Make sure you use the time that�s left to show her, and to say,
�Thanks mum, we love you heaps we do, and not just on one day,
but every day you are our champ, in the games of life we play.�
So what mums want on Mothers Day is not the latest fad,
But the fact their or is genuinely glad
To visit, write or ring to say, �Thanks mum, I�m really blessed,
that God gave you to me as mum, you really are the best.�
Happy Mothers Day!!
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Viagra......
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Posted:May 4, 2008 7:14 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 6:19 pm
5072 Views
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The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particulary stressful week. When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest.
The theme was Viagra advertising slogans.
The only rule was that they had to use PAST ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were accepted.
About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List.
The Top Ten Were.........
10) Viagra, Whaaaazzzz Up!
9) Viagra, The Quicker Pecker Upper.
 Viagra, Like A Rock!
7) Viagra, When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be There Overnight.
6) Viagra, Be All That You Can Be.
5) Viagra, Reach Out And Touch Someone.
4) Viagra, Strong Enough For A Man, But Made For A Woman.
3) Viagra, Home Of The Whopper!
2) Viagra, We Bring Good Things To Life!
And The Unanimous Number One Slogan:
1) This Is Your Penis, This Is Your Penis On Drugs.
With all the laughter and camaraderie, The rest of the week went very well for everyone.
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SEVEN EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS
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Posted:May 1, 2008 7:54 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 6:20 pm
5264 Views
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1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths ', I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA
3. One day I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered. 'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steve Swanson, Corvallis , OR
5. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a woman I asked, 'So how's your breakfast this morning?' 'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste' the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI
6. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by RN no name
AND FINALLY---
7. As a new, young MD doing his residency, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'.
Dr. wouldn't submit his name
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Daddy
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Posted:May 1, 2008 7:36 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:55 pm
5176 Views
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Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...'
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'
At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.'
Mommy fainted!
Moral:
Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt!
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Babies...how funny!
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Posted:May 1, 2008 7:23 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 6:21 pm
5217 Views
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The Smiths were unable to conceive and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon"
Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies"
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London""Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward.
"You mean squirrels actually chewed on your, um......equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we can get to work."
"Tripod?????"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ...... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"
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Just Plain Wrong
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Posted:Apr 30, 2008 9:33 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 6:23 pm
5086 Views
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Interesting story I found in a friends blog.
Kaufman County, Tex. District Attorney Louis “Bill” Conradt Jr., was caught chatting up someone he thought was a 13 year old boy for sex. The catch - he was really talking to someone from the watch group Perverted Justice acting w/ Dateline NBC in what’s perhaps the best TV show EVER - To Catch a Predator.
Apparently, the idea of sex with the was ok, but getting caught ‒not so great, so when Conradt found out the law was on to him, he killed himself.
Problem solved as far as I’m concerned. Thanks, Bill, for saving us all the trouble of a trial and (most of all) saving the real you were no-doubt talking to before you hit the sting operation.
Now - his sister, showing that sleaze really does run in the family - is suing NBC because…wait for it… they inflicted emotional damage on her poor, perverted, pedophile, brother. Never mind the fact that he was engaged in his best effort to seduce a minor into engaging into goodness-knows-what ‒the guy was embarrassed by the media. That’s gotta be worse than the emotional trauma of childhood sexual abuse…right?
What’s even more stunning (I mean, can we really be surprised that the same family that produced the pervert also produced the media-hoe?) is that a judge is allowing this to go to trial!
Oh… did I mention she wants $100 million dollars?
What is the World Coming To!
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To link to this blog (Rosebud322) use [blog Rosebud322] in your messages.
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