To my secret lover
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Posted:Nov 20, 2006 1:24 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2006 1:42 pm
4249 Views
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I know you are busy during the week so lunch would be out and I know you will be going home for the Christmas holiday so we will have to work something out. I don't want to lose you but I don't want you to be lonely with me working. I want to be the one you make love to, I want to be the one you kiss, I want to be the one you fall madly in love with, I want to be everything you want in a woman, I want to be the shoulder you lay your head on. Me, I want to be your all and all until you no longer need or desire me I am going to be on your mind, I am going to be in your heart, you will feel my kisses when I am not there you will smell my sweet aroma every time you think of me. Me the woman that caresses your sweaty brow when we make love, Me the woman that smiles at you when you drive, Me the woman that would move heaven and earth for you, Me, just Me.
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Spelling
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Posted:Nov 12, 2006 12:24 pm
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2006 1:50 am
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In the last post I have a lot of mispelled words and sentences that really don't make sense. Please forgive me. I am on the last bit of the meds they gave me and..........................you all know I can't spell without spell check. Just pretend you know what I am talking about and read through the errors. It makes sense ...................well most of it anyway. Love you bunches.............
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All perky again
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Posted:Nov 12, 2006 12:17 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2024 4:37 am
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Enjoyed my short hospital stay. had a lot of people wanting to know what was wrong other than me being crazy. I have the big "C" have had it for many years just have dealt with it. it comes and goes but i think this time we got it licked. At least i hope so. I think my short hair scares a lot of men, I had one woman approach me thinking I was bi. No not me I like men to much. Any way, I was on some meds that made me blow up bigger than I was already and it was making me very sick took them a long time to figure that one out but I hope I will just get down to my regular fat size(laugh people I am happier now than I have ever been). I am happy with who I am, I have never been a slim woman and after all the times I have tried to be slim I am to unstable to stay on a diet. I was in a high stressed job, I have a lot of pressure to get do my job and for it to be correct so I think I am at the best I can be right now. So just hang in there with me. I don't have a lot to talk about pertaining to a love life, but you know, I am still happy, with or without. Love is a job within itself. You have to be able to love unconditionally and with an open mind to make it work. If that happens for me I will give it my whole heart mind and soul. But for now I am enjoying being able to say I am free of pain, I am free of all the hurt people think they inflicked on me, most say I brought it on myself, maybe I did but I was being a friend and for that I will not send nor return any signs of affection I probably will not return any emails, but that is to my discretion. I am going to take it easy and get my health back in order so I can laugh again and have fun with the few true friends I have. But as always this is my opinion i might be wrong but I doubt it. Hope you like my bald head.
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To Spring
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Posted:Nov 9, 2006 12:54 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2006 7:27 pm
4197 Views
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You know why I am so pissed? you are the perfect love, a lover that is gentle, loving kind. You are sweet,cute and have the softest lips. I have kept my promise to be discreet and you know I am jealous when anyone has a date and I don't. It's life and I thought I had a grip on it but I lost it somewhere down the line. I hate happy people because I am not happy. I did have a period this summer that was the best time I have had in a long time, but men for what ever reason just disappear, thye leave and don't say goodbye. They just go poof without a trace. I have had 3 men do this to me in a 6 month period. That makes you wonder "what is wrong with me" Nothing it's just the men get all that want and move on. I guess i am like a hitching post, they hitch their to me, get a drink of water rest their weary bones for a spell then move on. Like a thief in the night they go into the dark never to be seen or heard from again. Oh I have noticed several of my male friends in my network have either bloked me or banned me since I started writing this blog.Guess they thought I was going to spill the beans, I am not like that but I do shoot from the hip and I tell it like it is. I need to tell myself how it is might help.
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Sitting here bored
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Posted:Nov 9, 2006 1:14 am
Last Updated:Nov 10, 2006 1:46 pm
4205 Views
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I am sitting here in this hospital bed bored out of my skull so what do I do? Write in my blog about my wonderul hospital stay. I am having test ran and it's no fun when you have to lie still, hold your breath, turn this way, turn that way, drink this, fill this, I need to take more blood, you get the picture. My let me use his laptop to keep myself amused. And I have, just writing and surfing, and reflecting. Hopefully I will get to come home so I can maybe work on getting a date or whine like I normally do about this time of the week.
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Wishful Dreaming
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Posted:Nov 8, 2006 1:53 am
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2006 1:26 pm
4165 Views
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Laying in bed the two of us stare into space. Naked under the sheets not touching just listening to each other breathe. What an erotic sound just listening and watching your chest heave up and down. I want you to touch me but I know you are tired from a long week at work. We never get to talk much after sex, you are always in such a hurry to jump into the shower. The ride home is long for I long to be in your arms a little while longer and I know it will be next week before I see you again. But this day was different, you didn't rush to the shower you stayed in the bed and held me for the longest time like you wanted to tell me something but we just sat in the silence of the room. You kiss me lightly on my cheek, then my neck, your hands slowly move over my breasts, you gaze in my eyes like you want to tell me something, but nothing comes out of your mouth but your actions speak volumes.
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For the record.............................................................
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Posted:Nov 6, 2006 1:22 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2006 2:29 am
4110 Views
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Yep I fucked up. Knew I did and I have to straightened out my views of how people view me as a person. Some don't take me to kindly, others see me as a , some see me as a foolish old woman with no life. For the record, I don't go out enough to be a , most men don't find me attractive enough, I do have a life it's called work, last but not least I might be old in age but I love life and I have a ball doing what little I do. So for those who read this and knew I was talking to you I am not sorry for expressing my opinion ( and it is my right to do so) and I wasn't trying to put you in a bad light but I was hurt that I am good enough to fuck but I am not good enough for McDonalds. That bites. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.
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This is for me
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Posted:Nov 5, 2006 12:01 am
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2006 1:12 pm
4086 Views
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In a previous post I was feeling down and depressed. I think I have fucked up again but I am not sure but I will know in a couple of days. I am the kind of person I see the good in all people not matter how you treat me I still see the good. I always feel that once you have met me you have a friend for life whether you want me to be your friend or not. I have a lot of friends that don't consider me as a friend. I hung up on a friend the other day due to the fact he was bragging about a date he had and I hadn't had a date in a long time. Then I had a date. I don't feel bad that I hung the phone up in his face I just hate the fact he is one of my "friends" that I don't understand. They only call when they are horny. And seeing I work nights and I am home in the daytime I guess lets call her and see what she is doing. Well I thought it was because I was special and i was close by and he didn't have anyone else. What a fool I was, I should have known that was not the case but we can dream can't we? Anyway if he chooses to read this post you are not alone, there are a few more this post is about. Now there are some guys I don't mind throwing the covers off the bed and having a rolling good time but I am going to be like a detective, i am going to ask name and serial numbers and screen you before you get one step in my house. Just tell me the truth don't lie tell me you are looking for a little something to tide you over till you get home, I'll buy that. Do you realize if I did that I would be talked about just as much or more. So all I am saying just be a little honest, I know a lot of us are on the down low and I know I am not the girl you would talk home to Mother but I am good enough to fuck
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the thrill is gone
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Posted:Nov 4, 2006 12:15 am
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2006 2:32 am
4061 Views
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As quick as they come, the quicker they leave. The thrill of life some days are good, some days you want to wring some necks. I hate what I am feeling now can't explain it but maybe in another blog I can
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It finally happened.....................................................
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Posted:Nov 3, 2006 6:10 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2024 4:37 am
4113 Views
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Here's what most of you have been waiting for, I finally had a date worth talking about. I told him before I left this morning.............yes I said this morning that I felt a blog coming on and he gave me his blessings. It started as several emails talking back and forth about how he wanted to date a woman of color but the opportunity never presented itself seeing he was from Maine and segregation was at it's height when he was younger ( he and I are about the same age, he being the oldest). But as he got older he would have several black friends through the years but never had the chance to date a black woman. Now I have always wondered what was the mystery in dating a black woman was and to this day no one can tell me, for me dating a white man was taboo so that made me curious because I knew supposedly it was wrong in some peoples eyes. But I feel that a man and a woman has the right to love who they want, when they want and why they want. But on with the date which came in 2 parts. The first date we sat and talked for a long time getting to know each other and what we liked and disliked and what we wanted in a friend. We talked what seemed like hours when in fact it was so I stayed over and we fell asleep. I went my way he went to work, I figured I would send him an email later in the day but by the time I got home he had gotten to work and he IM'ed me. He asked me out again since I was on vacation and school is out today so I was more that happy to go. He prepared a wonderful dinner for the 2 of us. Glad to know men can talk the talk, walk the walk and cook like a chef. It was marvelous and it gave us a chance to talk again. This time we talked about our sexual desires, needs and wants. Well he kissed me, it was something I was longing for and it was so sensual. I felt myself getting aroused and well I guess you know the rest of this story, we made love all night. I was worried about him being tired when he went to work but he had a big pot of coffee brewing when I awoke. We talked some more and I washed the dishes from dinner, seems we forgot about that as our passion over took us. He make me feel so comfortable and I was not nervous anymore he made me feel secure about my size, my color, and just me in general. He made me feel things I had long put in the back of my mind for I knew dates for me were not forth coming. He took me in his arms and just kissed me and cuddled me and made the most passionate love I have had in a long time. So sensual, so erotic so much passion in one night can be dangerous. I don't know where this is going but this I do know, I am a friend first and fore most and that I will be long after the sex is gone. But while I can and as long as the desire is there so will be excitement of a date.
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Still waiting on me to have ............................................
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Posted:Nov 2, 2006 4:24 am
Last Updated:Nov 2, 2006 1:12 pm
4084 Views
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I don't have anything to report. But I know some of you check out my blog to see what senseless chatter I will be posting. Fooled ya!!!!! I have been on vacation and I have nothing to talk about, no sex no dates no life. But it's good to know you check on me to see if I am ok and for that I thank you. love you bunches.
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I am at it again
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Posted:Oct 31, 2006 9:12 pm
Last Updated:Oct 31, 2006 11:27 pm
4383 Views
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Have you ever had someone that wanted to get you in bed so bad that you just gave in and it was wonderful? Then you realize that you are good enough to fuck but not good enough to be seen in public? You know where I am going, and stupid me just said I understand. No the hell I don't understand, if it's about race say so, if you are scared your friends will see us go to a part of town where no one knows your name or your face ( I hear the Cheers theme playing in the background) All I am saying is I like sex as much as anyone (when I get a chance to have it with someone other than myself)and I like to have a date without the sex but for some reason the 2 always seem to go hand in hand. Why is that? Do a date have to be a contact sport all the time? I just had to address that little tibit and you know there is a person behind this posting and they read this everyday so I will be expecting a phone call so I can tell them where to go and how to get there quick, fast and in a hurry. But as you know this is my opinion I might be wrong but I doubt it.
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What I want and need
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Posted:Oct 30, 2006 5:40 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2024 4:37 am
4342 Views
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Well my blog is suppose to be my diary and a way for me to vent my frustration. I was asked what was I looking for on a predominantly sex site. Well what I want is a date, what I need is to find an understanding man that will look at the whole picture and not just the outside exterior. For reasons I can not explain i like white men. Some don't mind me being a plus size black woman but there are others that take pride in downing all plus size women, but they really go after me for the double whammy, being black and fat. Now that being said let me explain further. To me white men is the ultimate taboo, something you want and can't have makes you want it all the more. I have had my share dates some of the men don't care just as long as the pussy is good and tight and wet. Mine is all of the about, I don't date, so it's like I am a virgin par deux. But I know someday "he" will appear, ask me out, we go for a lovely dinner make small talk and he takes me to he 3 hour motel which has happened. Some men are to cheap to get a real room, but if you only want to knock my boots and not spend the night I guess the 3 hour motel is all it takes. But I do believe...................no I KNOW I am worth more than the 3 hour motel. Don't feed me, take that money and take me some place nice, I can eat when I get home, sometimes I can even spring for the food but if it's sex you want, I think food is the last thing on your list. I know some of you are reading this and shaking your heads thinking that woman is crazy. No I am not crazy I just have a good sense of humor. My life is so funny and it's only recently that I have been able to laugh at myself. So now you sort of know what I want and need or deserve. A good man is hard to find but a good woman is hard to keep. My motto has been this quote " men want to be a woman's first love, I want to be a man's last romance".
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