The French god lov'em
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Posted:Nov 18, 2009 5:08 am
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2009 10:38 am
3554 Views
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I love this, we shouldn't bear grudges but for the French we can always make an exception.
Viva EU !
An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.
At the French customs desk he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
'You have been to
France before, monsieur?'
the customs
officer asked sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
'Then you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready,' the customs officer said.
The elderly gentleman replied, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it.'
'Impossible! The British always ave to show their passports en arrivee in France !'
The Man gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained;
'Well, when I came ashore on the Beach on D-Day in 1944, I couldn't find any f******g Frenchmen to show it to!!'
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lol @ swine flu :)
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Posted:Nov 18, 2009 3:07 am
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2009 3:25 am
3371 Views
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Three Little Pigs (Latest Version)
The Big Bad Wolf said,
I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!
The three little pigs said,
Fuck off or we'll sneeze on you!
hehehehehehehe
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proofreading...........lmao.......live and learn
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Posted:Nov 4, 2009 3:25 am
Last Updated:Nov 16, 2009 5:46 am
3278 Views
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Proofreading is a Dying Art these days!
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn't help but blog these. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
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Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
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hair waxical..... (compliments of beowulf1974 )
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Posted:Oct 27, 2009 12:34 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2010 3:12 am
3705 Views
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THIS IS HYSTERICAL!
(I don't have a clue as to who wrote this, but....WHAT A HOOT!)
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
wax. Read on.........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner,
play with the . I then had the thought that would ring painfully in
my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out
of the medicine cabinet.'
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those
'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips
together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press
them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am
mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so
I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,'
yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it
tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me!
I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin
extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the , I sneak
back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I
drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of
my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down
to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and
brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the
strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and
spotted.
I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I
hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused
me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in
the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the
hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch.
I am
touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I
need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop.
My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can
stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the
wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of
the tub....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold
wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented
myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few
months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some
secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter.
'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal
but she does try to hide her laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,'Are we talking
cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown
and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the
wax off with a razor .. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie
goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot
water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not
working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to
need post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the and scared the dickens out
of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!
It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs
up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I
recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could
have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color...
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getting even
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Posted:Sep 24, 2009 3:58 pm
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2009 12:36 am
4518 Views
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One day in December, we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight - starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussy'.
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could collect her. My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him. My husband and my vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O' and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'. They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.
The next day, my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building as the vet, in the rooms next door. The doctor's waiting room was full of people waiting to see the doctor....... a side door opened and the vet (who had obviously seen my husband arrive) leaned in. He looked straight at my husband and, in a loud voice, said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose. Oh, and by the way, I think she's pregnant. God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door.
Now THAT, my friends, is getting EVEN.
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Are you a Taliban? Tell tail signs...?
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Posted:Sep 24, 2009 3:51 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2009 12:20 pm
3672 Views
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"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth..
4. You wipe your ass with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat
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america here i cuuuuum
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Posted:Sep 12, 2009 9:52 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:48 pm
4525 Views
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WOOOHOOO...... looks like I may be going to the grand US of A... can't wait, will keep you posted as soon as I find out the work details etc etc etc...so foxee will be doing New York at long last 
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shit happens
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Posted:Aug 13, 2009 9:25 am
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2009 1:03 pm
3758 Views
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THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
HOPE THIS MAKES YOU LAUGH...
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference
between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.
There is bull shit, shit, and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot
the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier
than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are
hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit,
the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find
yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and
other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out
smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic
building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't
need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do
so if you don't give a shit!
Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to
know that I do give a shit and hope you have a
nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happen to
catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........
Well, Shit Happens!!!
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and the french did this ??/
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Posted:Jul 22, 2009 7:02 am
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2009 6:47 am
3667 Views
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France: Veiled Muslim woman denied French citizenship amid concerns over her 'radical' religious views
NO citizenship: Close up of a Muslim woman in a black hijabThe new French reality - radical or extreme Islam not welcomed. Morocco is a good place to live - if you really want to live in an Islamic country. This is what the French government said that they were going to do - and it seems that they have done it. These people have no interest in France or the French - they look only to one day imposing their Islam agenda on the rest of the population. We should the French accommodate people who wish to see their way of live destroyed or transformed into an Islamic one. The marrying of these peasant girls from Morocco's heartland - so that they can have a docile subservient wife - should stop. Other EU countries are doing the same - these include the Netherlands and Germany. Let the Islamic/Arab world take back their own people - those people who hate the west......
France has denied citizenship to a veiled Moroccan woman on the grounds that her "radical" practice of Islam is incompatible with basic French values such as equality of the sexes, a legal ruling showed on Friday.
The case will reignite debate about how to reconcile freedom of religion, which is guaranteed by the French constitution, and other fundamental rights, which many in France feel are being challenged by the way of life of some Muslims.
Le Monde newspaper said it was the first time a Muslim applicant had been rejected for reasons to do with personal religious practice.
"She has adopted a radical practice of her religion, incompatible with essential values of the French community, particularly the principle of equality of the sexes," said a ruling by the Council of State handed down last month and sent to Reuters on Friday to confirm a report in Le Monde.
The Council of State is a judicial body which has final say on disputes between individuals and the public administration.
Married to a French national, the woman arrived in France in 2000, speaks good French and has three born in France.
She wears a black burqa that covers all her body except her eyes, which are visible through a narrow slit, and lives in "total submission" to her husband and male relatives, according to reports by social services. Le Monde said the woman is 32.
The woman's application for French nationality was rejected in 2005 on grounds of "insufficient assimilation". She appealed to the Council of State, which last month approved the rejection.
In the past, nationality was denied to Muslims who were known to have links with extremist circles or who had publicly advocated radicalism, which is not the case here.
The ruling comes weeks after a heated debate over whether traditional Muslim views were creeping into French law, prompted by a court annulment of the marriage of two Muslims because the husband said the wife was not a virgin as she had claimed to be.
In the case of the Moroccan woman, Le Monde suggested the Council of State had gone to the opposite extreme by rejecting the woman's beliefs and way of life rather than accommodating them."Is a burqa incompatible with French nationality?" the newspaper asked.
The legal expert who provided a formal report on the case to the Council of State wrote that the woman's interviews with social services revealed that "she lives almost as a recluse, isolated from French society," Le Monde reported.
"She has no idea about the secular state or the right to vote. She lives in total submission to her male relatives.
She seems to find this normal and the idea of challenging it has never crossed her mind," Emmanuelle Prada-Bordenave wrote.
Le Monde quoted Daniele Lochak, a law professor not involved in the case, as saying it was bizarre to consider that excessive submission to men was a reason not to grant citizenship.
"If you follow that to its logical conclusion, it means that women whose partners beat them are also not worthy of being French.'
Source: Daily Mail
bloody got THAT bit right for sure
UPDATE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
France bans 'burkhini' bathing suitFrance bans 'burkhini' bathing suit
pa.press.net
A Muslim woman has been denied access to a public swimming pool in France for wearing a head-to-toe swimsuit.
Emerainville Mayor Alain Kelyor said the 35-year-old woman was not allowed to swim in the pool while wearing the "burkhini".
Officials claimed the outfit was unhygienic and potentially harmful to other swimmers.
The woman, a convert to Islam, complained to police that the ban is discriminatory.
The incident adds to controversy over the wearing of the head-to-toe burkha or other full-body coverings worn by some Muslim fundamentalists. President Nicolas Sarkozy wants them banned.
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for my turkish friends...
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Posted:Jul 22, 2009 5:54 am
Last Updated:Nov 2, 2009 3:50 am
3598 Views
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as they say in turkish (gotta put something english here as post keeps getting denied due to the fact they cant understand it)
........meaning hello peeps in turkish
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bellissimoooooooo
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Posted:Jul 9, 2009 11:28 am
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2013 1:20 am
4088 Views
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is orfskiiiiiii to Italia again, to pick up my nuts and other accessories, and to piss orrfski the Italian Romeo's. Will be back,with nuts,and some smelly cheese and a WHOPPING big salami for umm well guess..... won't be on line for a few days,so be goodski and have fun fun FUUUN
mwahski
UPDATE
backski with cheese WHOPPING big salami,and peanuts
went to see Pompeii and tried to make out what everything was used for ,evidently everything looked like a toilet ,went up mount Vesuvius and for someone who is scared of heights THAT was a fete in itself..will do a small album with the best of the pics....
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farewell and adieu..
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Posted:Jul 8, 2009 3:58 am
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2009 1:02 am
3744 Views
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To the man of pop....
It seemed fitting to do at least a blog for poor Michael Jackson, RIP.... despite what people have said about him in his troubled life ,I have NEVER believed the allegations against him,yes he was weird ,but that made him,that was his forte,something that was part of his personality,and yes the media should be held accountable for that,but one thing was for sure,he never stood down,as he knew it was an untruth and a desperate attempt to get money from him,but despite all that (unlike gary-thai--glitter.....) he was still loved and worshiped for his talent, his music is a legacy on par with Elvis,people from all countries and all walks of life have heard of them both and will continue to do so,his dancing was spectacular something (like Elvis) will be impersonated for many years to come and from all ages such a shame and a tragedy to end "just like that" it brings home the truth that no-one is invincible,death will get us all somehow....and we wont know when
so RIP Michael I really hope you didn't die in pain and that it was quick like my dad...
PS: teach him to moonwalk will ya as he was crap at it and in return he will give you the keys to his spirit's larder that he has been hiding from my mum pmsl
as a fan said>>>
It's incredible what a simple man is capable to do.
Michael Jackson is one of world's greatest examples of it.
The strength he had to go on was amazing.
The power he used to sing and act on stage was spectacular!
The grace he brought is unforgettable.
Dear Michael, thanks for all the wakeup calls you gave this world.
I just hope the world hears it too now..
God bless you !
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A senior moment
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Posted:Jun 23, 2009 2:30 pm
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2009 3:09 am
3851 Views
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A stunning senior moment
Apparently, a self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
'You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one', the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. 'The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon. Our space probes have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, ships and electric and hydrogen cars, cell phones , computers with light-speed processing...and more.'
After a brief silence, the senior citizen responded as follows:
'You're right, . We didn't have those things when we were young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are you doing for the next generation?'
The applause was amazing.......
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To link to this blog (_Foxee_) use [blog _Foxee_] in your messages.
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