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 TAG! You're IT! ** The instructions are at the end. ** Four things you may or may not know about me in no particular order. Four jobs I have had in my life: 1. W.T. Grants (department store) 2. Waitress 3. Electronics 4. Auto Insurance Four movies I've watched more than once: 1. Sweet Home Alabama 2. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days 3. The Banger Sisters 4. Vanilla Sky Four places I have lived 1. Novato, Ca 2. Phoenix, Az 3. Marble Falls, Tx 4. Lee Vining, Ca Four T.V. Shows that I watch 1. Missing 2. Life Time Movie Network for Woman 3. Cold Case 4. Survivor Four places I have been 1. Vegas 2. Louisianna 3. Lake Powel 4. Laplin People who e-mail me (regularly) 1. mom 2. sister-in-law 3. Mike 4. Tim ~~~and~~~and~~~and Four of my favorite foods: 1. Ice Cream 2. Cookies 3. Cheese Cake 4. Ham Four places I would rather be right now: 1. In bed with someone fantastic 2. Visiting my grandkids 3. Camping by a Lake 4. Fishing Four friends I think will respond: 1. stevesaunders 2. OGreatOne24 3. lukn4sumfunow 4. jayj6868 ~~~and~~~and~~~and Things I am looking forward to this year 1. Good health 2. Successful career 3. This girl just want's to have fun 4. GREAT sex INSTRUCTIONS: Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the fun. Delete my answers and type in your answers. Post on others |
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The Curtain Rod
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Posted:Jan 26, 2008 4:33 pm
Last Updated:May 8, 2008 11:04 pm
3796 Views
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Curtain Rods
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background
music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girl friend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...
Repairmen refused to work in the house...
The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be
willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...
But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home......including the curtain rods.
I love happy endings.
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Illegal Imigrants Poem
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Posted:Jan 23, 2008 2:58 pm
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2008 6:24 pm
3654 Views
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I cross ocean, poor and broke,
Take bus, see employment folk.
Nice man treat me good in there,
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say,"You come no more,
We send cash right to your door."
Welfare checks, they make you wealthy,
Medicaid it keep you healthy!
By and by, I got plenty money,
Thanks to you,American dummy.
Write to friends in motherland,
Tell them 'come fast as you can.'
They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
I buy big house with welfare bucks
They come here, we live together,
More welfare checks,it gets better!
Fourteen families, they moving in,
But neighbor's patience wearing thin.
Finally, white guy moves away,
Now I buy his house,and then I say,
"Find more aliens for house to rent."
And in the yard put a tent.
Send for family they just trash,
But they, too, draw the welfare cash!
Everything is very good,
And soon we own the neighborhood.
We have hobby it's called breeding,
Welfare pay for baby feeding.
need dentist? Wife need pills?
We get free! We got no bills!
American crazy! He pay all year,
To keep welfare running here.
We think America darn good place!
Too darn good for the white man race
If they no like us, they can scram,
Got lots of room in Pakistan.
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Fantasies
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Posted:Jan 15, 2008 7:30 pm
Last Updated:May 8, 2008 11:03 pm
3600 Views
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We all have fantasies, some we keep to ourselves and others we talk about. And yes I have that 1 fantasy I never told anyone about until recently. He wasn't shocked but encouraged me to act on it. He helped me set up my add request along with were to post it at. And to my surprise I received many responds. My fantasy will now become a reality this weekend. I'm on cloud nine. So what ever it may be or you may want, there is some body out there that would be more than happy to help you and your fantasy come true. Just go for it.
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Holloween
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Posted:Sep 29, 2007 10:54 am
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2007 11:13 pm
3681 Views
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Do you know why ghost can't have babies????
Because they have HOLLOW WEENIESLOL
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To link to this blog (jamn_hard) use [blog jamn_hard] in your messages.
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