TELL RON WE SHOULD CHANGE THE BLUE COLLAR

"THE RON WHITE SHOW" BEST COMEDY IN THE BIZ. FUCKING A.

WZEX DENVER+++++BREAKING NEWS

Posted:Aug 19, 2020 2:56 am

Last Updated:Aug 19, 2020 3:01 am

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WE GOT OUR LOCAL REPORTER, LARRY THE CABLE GUY? "HEY BILL, HOW IS HANGING? THAT'S FUNNY RIGHT , I DON'T CARE WHT YOU SAY"

WHISPERING (THE STORY I HEARD IS THAT LARRY IS THE STATION MANAGER'S BROTHER INLAW AND HE LENT THE STATION MANAGER A MILLION DOLLARS,

AND HE IS BLACKMAILING HIM TO GET ON THE AIR IN DENVER. THE WAY LARRRY PUT , "ON THE AR IN DENVEER!)

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT ON MY FUCKING AIR. YOU CAN'T SAY FUCK EITHER. I THINK YOU JUST LOST YOUR LICENSE.

FUCKING LARRY, THE CABLE GUY.

SHOULD LARRY THE CABLE GUY BE ON WZEX?

SHOULD A MONKEY TRY FUCK A FOOTBALL?

SHOULD A BLIND MAN CLIMB EVEREST?

SHOULD YOU FUCK THE QUEEN PUSSY?

SHOULD A CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

SHOULD A CHCKEN LAY AN EGG ON 'S END?

I have a very sexy pussy, I want show you

I have a sexy pussy but I hate your contest

I am gonna fuck the old man

SHOULD WE DO ALL OF THE ABOVE?

THEY NEED BE PUNISHED.

THEY NEED BE TAUGHT HOW GO PEEPEE OUTSIDE LIKE A LADY.

A PEEPEE PRIMER ON HOW GO PEEPEE STANDING UP

How Urinate Standing Up as a Female
PARTS
1Preparing
2Trying out Different Approaches
OTHER SECTIONS
Questions & Answers
Tips and Warnings
Things You'll Need
Related Articles
References
Article Summary
Author Info
Last Updated: June 15, 2020 References

When faced with an appallingly dirty toilet, a squat toilet, or no toilet at all, women may feel like they're at a physical disadvantage. However, it is possible for women to urinate standing up if they're willing to invest in a little self-potty-training. To urinate while standing up, try one of the following methods.

Part
1
Preparing
Image titled Deal with Periods if You Are Blind or Visually Impaired Step 2
1
Familiarize yourself with your anatomy. You may not have given much thought to how things work in your lower region, so it's a good idea to review some basic female anatomy by looking at a diagram or using a hand mirror to look at yourself.
Find the urethra. The urethra is a tube that leads from the bladder to the outside. The urine travels through this inch-and-a-half long tube and is released through a small hole that's located behind your clitoris, just in front of your vagina.[1]
Locate the labia. The labia majora are the two outer rounded folds of tissue that lie on either side of the urethral and vaginal openings. The labia minora are two inner folds of skin enclosed within the labia majora.[2]
The opening to the urethra is tiny--just a small slit--so don't be concerned if it takes you a minute or two to locate it in the mirror.
It's a good idea to touch these parts of your anatomy and see how they feel. When you're first learning to pee standing up, you'll need to use your fingers to open the labia minora in order to expose the opening of the urethra and obtain a well-controlled stream of urine.
Image titled Urinate Standing Up as a Female Step 2
2
Stay sanitary. If you know you'll be somewhere the bathrooms are disgusting or non-existent, keep a few items on hand to help yourself stay clean.
Hand sanitizer. Before you pee standing up, it's essential that you wash your hands. You're going to be touching your genital area and you don't want germs from your hands to cause a urinary tract infection. Because women have short urethras, it's easy for germs to move up their bladders.[3] If soap and water aren't available, use hand sanitizer to protect yourself.
Wet wipes. Have a travel-size pack of sanitary wipes with you to clean your hands when you're done. For some standing-up styles of urinating, your fingers will get wet.
Image titled Urinate Standing Up as a Female Step 3
3
Be sure the coast is clear. You may need to urinate standing up because you're out camping or because the women's room is far too crowded and the men's room was available. Before you begin, make sure you have privacy. If you're interrupted mid-stream, things could get messy, and may be some degree of embarrassment for you, your intruder, or both.
Part
2
Trying out Different Approaches
Image titled Urinate Standing Up as a Female Step 4
1
Two-Finger Method for Beginners. When you're first learning pee standing up, you want make the process as easy on yourself as possible. You'll get better with practice but for now follow this introductory method to practice at home.
Wash your hands. Wash your hands thoroughly with warm, soapy water and dry them.
Remove everything from the waist down. As a newbie, you're likely to create a bit of a mess. To prevent urine from getting on your pants, skirt, underwear or shoes, simply take them off. If you have a top that hangs down low, you may want to remove that as well.
Position yourself in front of the toilet or in the shower stall. Stand with your feet about 2 feet (0.6 m) apart. Use the fingers of both hands to pull the labia minora apart as best as you can. Place your fingers slightly in front of the urethra. Pull your fingers up and forward just a little while exerting equal pressure on both sides.
Start the stream. Rotate your hips to slightly control the direction of the stream. Push hard at the beginning of your flow and then again to end the stream. This will cut down on "dribbles" .
Wipe yourself and mop up any mess around the toilet area or rinse down the shower. Be sure to wash your hands again.
Do not be discouraged if you peed down one leg or sprayed all over the place--that's absolutely common for beginners. The key is to practice a lot; if you do, you'll definitely see improvement.
Experiment a bit with posture. You may find it helpful to bend your knees a bit or arch your back. What works for one woman may not work for you so try a few different positions.
Image titled Urinate Standing Up as a Female Step 5
2
One-handed Method for More Experienced Women.
Wash your hands.
Move clothing out of the way. Slide your skirt off or pull your underpants and pants all the way down.
Be ready with toilet paper or a wipe in one hand. Use this to clean up if the urine goes somewhere you don't want it to.
With your other hand, make a “V” with the first and second finger and spread the inside of the inner lips, pulling upward. You need to spread the inner labia so your urine will come forward in a stream and not run down your leg. By adjusting how much you pull upwards, as well as the position of your hips, you can control where the stream goes (although it'll take a bit of practice).[4]
Wipe yourself and mop up any mess around the toilet area if you're at home. Be sure to wash your hands again.
Once you've had plenty of practice and are confident that your can direct your urine stream, you can use the one-handed method and keep your clothes mostly in place. You can pull your pants down a little, but if they have a long zipper, you may be able to open the zipper all the way and leave the pants in place. Lift your skirt with your free hand. Use the hand that makes the "V" to slide aside your underwear at the crotch.
Image titled Urinate Standing Up as a Female Step 6
3
Funnel method. Use a female urination device (FUD) or stand-to-pee (STP) device.[5] Female urination devices have been around for almost 100 years,[6] and the designs have advanced considerably over that time. They are available in reusable and disposable models and can be found through online pharmacy and product websites.
Wash your hands.
Move your clothing out of the way. It should be enough to undo your pants and pull down the front of your underpants or push them to one side.
Put the device in place. If it's made of plastic or other rigid material, you can place your hand on either side of the device. If it's made from silicone or other flexible material, stretch your thumb and middle finger to hold the device from front to back. Place it securely against your body taking care to maintain the seal on the back. Direct the outlet pipe away from the body and out of the pants.
Direct your stream. You can do this by using a third finger to make a triangle to stabilize the pee stream. Shift your hips, bend your legs and/or arch your back to find a comfortable position that allows you to control your flow. Aim urine to a suitable place; into a toilet or away from feet.
When you're done, pull the device away. If you're without toilet paper, use it to wipe away any drips. Shake it off and rinse with water if possible.
While you may find this easier than the finger method, it still takes practice to avoid drips and dribbles. Plan to use a FUD at home several times until you are comfortable with it.
Some reusable devices come packaged in a reusable plastic bag or pouch; others may not. Have your own plastic bag on hand to store the device before and after use if it does not come with a bag.
In a pinch, you could make your own device from a plastic bottle. Cut off the bottom of the bottle with scissors or a utility knife. Remove the cap and wash the top of the bottle thoroughly. Place the opening at top of the bottle over your urethra. Make sure it is directly over the opening or you will split the urine stream and make a mess. Direct the open end of the bottle away from you and use a firm but not forceful stream.
Image titled Urinate Standing Up as a Female Step 7
4
Hover Method. If your legs are strong and you can hold a squat for several seconds successfully, then you can use the hover or squat method to urinate.
Put the toilet seat up. This will give you a slightly larger "target" and keep you from messing up the seat for the next woman. Of course, if you're using this method because the toilet is dirty then it's not a concern. On the other hand, if you're not used to this method and are worried about slipping, you may want to leave to seat down to catch you if it comes to that.
Bend your knees and lower yourself backside so that you're "sitting" at an almost 90-degree angle. If you don't commit to an almost-full-90 degrees and instead just "tilt" yourself back, you're likely to spray all over the seat and possibly your pants and shoes. Balance yourself by resting your forearms on your knees or putting one hand on the wall to steady yourself. Get as close to the bowl as you can without touching the surface.
Position yourself as far back as you can over the opening. Since your stream will flow outwards in front of you, starting further back will prevent splashing or overshooting.
Keep your head up. Focus on a point directly in front of you. Looking between your legs may cause you to lose your balance.
When you're done, wipe yourself and wash your hands if possible. If you left the seat down, take a short look for mistakes. If necessary give the seat a swipe with some toilet paper to clean it up for the next .
Community Q&A
Question
When I try pee standing up, urine doesn't come out. Am I not standing right, or is just my body not being used ?
DeBedenHasen
DeBedenHasen
Community Answer
It is most likely your body. Wait until you have pee very bad and 'll most likely come out "on its own."
Not Helpful 15Helpful 144
Question
Will physical alteration of my genitals from genital mutilation affect the use of these techniques?
Community Answer
Community Answer
It will depend on what was done, and how it was done. You might have try different options and experiment with modifying the technique find a way that works for you.
Not Helpful 11Helpful 49
Question
My vagina always hurts when I try pee standing up. Why could this be?
Community Answer
Community Answer
You may be using an uncomfortable position. Try experimenting find what feels best for you. If your vagina hurts every time you pee, even when sitting, consult your doctor.
Not Helpful 33Helpful 159
Question
I can pee and Aim without spraying, but when I'm finished, I dribble pee. How do I stop this?
Community Answer
Community Answer
Push the stream out hard the last 3 seconds. It should all come out with force.
Not Helpful 26Helpful 148
Question
Can I bend my knees in order to avoid making a mess?
Community Answer
Community Answer
Yes, you can bend your knees or take any other position you are comfortable in. However, it is important to consider your setting.
Not Helpful 31Helpful 158
Question
Will my vagina hurt if I pull my labia minora away?
Vadim Azarov
Vadim Azarov
Community Answer
No, nothing will hurt. You won't even touch the vagina.
Not Helpful 30Helpful 137
Question
What if is someone in the men's room?
Community Answer
Community Answer
Then walk out and wait for him leave. If he asks why you were in when he was going, just say "Sorry I thought this was the women's" but rarely will a man question a woman in that way, realizing that people make mistakes.
Not Helpful 87Helpful 316
Question
Is the Slav squat a good position?
Community Answer
Community Answer
Yes, it is.
Not Helpful 15Helpful 70
Question
How do I feel more comfortable and less awkward peeing while standing up?
Community Answer
Community Answer
Do it often and you will get used and feel more comfortable.
Not Helpful 28Helpful 119
Question
How do I avoid the embarrassing noise of the urine hitting the water?
Community Answer
Community Answer
Place some toilet paper down beforehand, it really works! Just try to put it in the middle of the water and use one or two layers. You can even do three if you like, whatever makes you comfortable.
Not Helpful 72Helpful 280
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Tips
If standing up peeing is embarrassing for you, do it in private.
Try practicing peeing while standing when you are in the shower. It's much easier to clean up, as it will just wash down the drain. As well, you can wash yourself, if you get some on your legs.
The area near your urethra may sometimes get sticky due to vaginal discharge. In this case, take a bit of clean tissue paper and clean that area before you start.
If you want to pee standing during your period, you can wear a tampon. If it's still hard to pee standing during your period, you can sit and pee, just for that week.
If you have to pee and poop at the same time, sit. You don't want to waste time doing both separately.
Stand and push really hard, so the pee will go in a stream.
Warnings
Peeing standing up can be messy. Don't try it for the first time at a friend's house if you are interested in retaining the friendship.
Practice at home first before you try this anywhere, except when you're going camping, hiking, etc.
Remember this will take time to get the hang of. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work the first time.
Remember that while you may be using a public toilet to urinate, other women may need to use defecate or sit for other reasons. Please be conscientious and lift the seat – and if you do miss, wipe up afterwards; after all, this is what women expect from courteous men. Also, clean the seat.
Try at home first and if you miss and make a mess just mop up the mess of pee.
Things You'll need

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