It became a rant.
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Posted:Apr 15, 2012 12:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2012 5:29 am
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Ok, my car is not at home tonight. With three flat tyres, it was hard enough to get it to the servo where you put air in the tyres.
That's a story in itself, and I am not going to go there, just to say, it's really weird when you have one tyre down, another with a nail in it, and then you discover the spare is flat, as it has a nail exactly like the one in the other tyre.
I should add that after trying to change the flattest tyre on the car, and discovering that the spare was flatter, I did put the original back on the car and limp it to the servo, because I had no choice of leaving the car where it was.
I am hoping that the one that was only down a bit, is still full, and that the car is still there when I get back there in the morning. I am hoping that my mechanic understands that the only reason I am calling him is because they don't want my car in the servo, and as I am not getting paid right now, I just don't have any money to fix the tyres. Here's hoping I get it all sorted.
As I am me, can get upset very easily, it's not guaranteed. These days I lose it way too easily, and way too quickly. That's after anger management all those years ago. Then again, most people don't go through the dramas I did, straight after doing the anger management, so they are not pushed further than the extremes.
I can always look on the bright side. I am alive, and my car existed last time I looked, under a surveillance camera, and I have somewhere to sleep, and I still have a touch of food. I just don't know from week to week whether I will make it through to the next one, and that has had a lot to do with why I have blogged here so much. It has been a way of not just venting, but surviving. I am sorry that I offended someone by being here too much. There is nothing I can do about that.
I don't trust anyone in my day to day life, and the more that goes wrong, the less I trust anyone out there.
Don't assume I trust the people here. For me you are faceless, as most of you look like either a penis or a pair of boobs, faceless entities, that appear to be somehow possibly human.
I have learnt over time not to trust anything that I can't see, touch or hear, and even then to not trust that it is what I think it is, as it might be nothing like what it is.
It's hard being tested to the limits. I did try to get in touch with some from childhood, both male and female. It was easier looking for the males, and I found at least one or two easily enough. I even managed a phone call or two with them. Only it seems that each one has disappeared since, and as I did mention them to another who I thought I could trust, it's all very strange. The two females have disappeared as well, so each one that I made contact with is gone. It's so sinister, I could be terrified. Only I passed that a long time ago, and these days, I don't really get scared, except every now and then in a moment, for a moment, and then I am back and facing whatever it is this time.
(Don't assume there is nobody in my life. There is a big difference between having friends you can keep in touch with, and having people there in crisis. If I call, I nearly always have someone in a real crisis, because I try never to abuse that privilege. I also give men who seem to need their space that space, so then I see them as not someone I can contact in crisis.)
So there, you have inner strength, the kind that survivors are made of, and why no matter what, I always have come through. My times have been tough. They have been trying, and I have never failed to decide that tomorrow is another day, and I am not going to let the dramas, or a few bad apples spoil my whole life. Not everyone is bad. I just don't seem to be past my problems yet.
I do believe that I will get there, as not everyone is a friend of my first husband. Not everyone is a friend of his friends. Not everyone runs with the crowd, and when decent people meet me, they find me really nice, and really decent, and they discover the beautiful me that I am when not under attack.
NO, I am not nice under attack at all. I do stand my ground. I do throw everything and a bit more at the assailant. I have the right to protect myself from anyone who tries to hurt me, and I do that. I tend not to fight back, however I do fight back in ways that really make people disappear once they realise that no, I will not put up with their garbage, not threats, not deceit, nothing negative or nasty.
Because I am working towards a positive future for me, I just won't put up with any nasties at all.
When they stole, I closed doors first, then the gate, then I added a dog, then locks, then I raised the fence, then security cameras, and since then I have added more and more security devices, as the idiots were obviously using too many drugs to notice I had locked them out, so now they are really locked out, and they still try anything to hurt me. Only I get the impression that they are not only attacking this place. They are like that with every place that they think they might be able to target for any reason. I think that they are just totally respect-less young criminals, who haven't spent enough time in jail yet. Once they do, they will either become decent, or become so feral that society will wish it had done more than just lock them up.
Ooops, that was a rant!
Life is like that, when we get upset. 
 Sorry I can't be more positive right now. I do hope life is a lot better for you and yours.
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I will be back.
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Posted:Apr 11, 2012 4:34 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2012 12:12 pm
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I just did a bit of work on my blogs, so this one will be short and sweet.
It's just to say that because of the work I did, this will be all I write today. It should be easier to find my new blogs with the changes I have made. I have added a photo of some roses that I grew. If you scroll down, when you get to the roses, that's it, that's where the new blogs are, and that was the aim of adding that pic. I also put the frog pic in the blog where I mention the frogs, and that's sensible, as that's where the pic should have been all along.
I changed the font colours in my introductory blogs, so once you pass the purple font and the pink roses, you are at the newest blogs. That is what the changes were about, and as I have repeated myself, I am quitting. (That was soft laughter.)
Catch you next time.
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sometimes I feel shy
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Posted:Apr 9, 2012 11:40 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2012 10:28 pm
2706 Views
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. . . and sometimes I just feel shy, like right now.
I am tired of being out there, tired of being wonderful. I don't feel wonderful. I don't feel the greatest. I am trying really hard to become normal again, and that is perhaps more than I can achieve, despite really wanting to.
Anyway, there is nothing normal about me, never has been, never will be, so why on earth I want to be normal, I have no idea. It's an impossible ask.
Perhaps I just want to be what I consider the normal me, like I used to be. That lady would get up at a "normal" hour, do normal things like housework for a few hours, then do more normal things like perhaps the shopping, or go to the 's school for something, or visit a friend, then come home, do more daily duties, and then be there for the "family" and perhaps cook, or do something else useful. If I had been out doing commitment type things, I might do a fun thing at home before the came home from school, and if I had been out enjoying, I'd tend to do something a bit more useful, like study something that might help me improve my home-making abilities, or improve my talent/skill base.
That was when I wasn't at work. Once I started work, I found that when you do thirteenish hour days, there's no time for cooking or cleaning, until you have a day or two off. Then you just do what is most urgent.
When I was working, I discovered that it's really nice if you come home, and dinner is waiting for your arrival, before it is served, or as you get home it is cooked, or if there is a bath waiting for you to just rest in, and dinner is also close by. That is so wonderful after a full heavy day at work. I do remember finding myself tired after a day when I was doing less physically challenging work, and these days, I seem to be so old, that every day is tiring, no matter what I do, and that is frustrating, as I wonder how I will ever be "normal", and I do know that there is no such thing, just it would be nice to be a "normal" me, someone I feel can get there, and do it. That would be so nice.
Then I might feel a lot more positive about getting out there and meeting someone. Then again, I might not, as I think my issues are that some men are just so awful, that as a woman, it's really clever to be very careful who "you" let near you. It's really clever to be nice, be friendly, or in some women's cases, bitchy, whatever you are, and just take your time, getting to know him, or him, and finding out enough so that by the time either of you actually gets serious, you know that this is ok, or get real, I am getting out of here!
By the way, it would be really clever if the men saw me as totally refusing to get physical. Right now that is just not going to happen with any man, and if it is likely to happen, it will only happen after some time of getting to know him. I don't think the men really understand that some ladies, have been there, done that, and just don't want a new man every so often anymore.
Now that I have said that, I have to add, that I think I am a siren, really not ready to emotionally commit to any one man long term. Yes, I will get to know this or that one, and yes, I will declare my friendship, and that I really like you. I might even say I love you. Just I won't tell you that I hate the way you always leave the toilet seat up. I won't tell you that I hate the way you want me to dress like a potato sack. I won't tell you that this, that and the other really annoy me about you, just as I never told my precious friend. Only in his case, he could have turned the world upside down, and that would have been ok, because he was him, nothing else.
My problem was that when he smiled, it was magical, like a rainbow had appeared. He just has one of those smiles. When he gave his "sympathetic" look, it was magical too. I'd do pretty much whatever to get either of those looks, and no, I don't mean anything devious. All I really had to do, was listen to him, even if what he was saying sounded like "yeah, right", and keep listening, and then he would smile at something or give me the other look, and anything negative in me would just melt. It was the best, and it was because I did trust him not to hurt me.
ONLY, he also, was just another potential conquest, and if it had happened, he probably would have become another statistic, as in I'd tell him, sure, I love you, we are friends! When it didn't happen, I discovered I really liked the friend. In his case, it doesn't matter. He is gone, so I have lost the friend, and now I feel that I don't really like him anymore. Anyone that dumps me just before Christmas because he has suddenly become insecure, and throws such a beautiful friendship away, really doesn't deserve my loyalty, not the loyalty I gave him. Oh, I always knew that I was giving too much, only I felt that he needed someone to just care for all the right reasons, and back then, I thought enough of him to do that.
Just I think there comes a point when a person has gone too far, not once, not twice, a number of times, and one's patience just falls apart, no matter how precious we thought the person was.
So yep, that is over, and right now, I am feeling too whatever to even try with anything new, which is why over Easter, when others were probably blogging and chatting their backsides off, I was just quietly hanging around, frustrated by a potential burglar, and angry that some young men were trying to get up to mischief involving me, not just any mischief, criminal stuff. It amazes me how they didn't realise that someone like me is not likely to fall into their schemes.
Sorry, not the greatest blog today, just emotionally tired.
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heartbreak? suffering?
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Posted:Apr 4, 2012 8:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2012 9:00 pm
2726 Views
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. . . and then . . . .
Sometimes we bloggers share our past, and in some cases it's not pretty. In fact it's quite horrific. Some of us try to keep it as brief as possible, as concise as possible, as we know just how horrific it was being there. Then there might be others who will elaborate, and add lots of detail. It all depends on why we are sharing.
Perhaps a good way to work out why someone shares their past, is to look at how they share it. If it is just in brief, with barely any detail, maybe they are not sharing it because they really want to. Perhaps, they are only sharing their past, so that it is out there, and then if someone wants to know, they get referred to the person's blogs, getting told, it's all in there, feel free to read it, and if you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them. The fact being that the person is glad the past is past, and would be happy to never ever have to revisit it.
There might be others, who want to share their past, partly because they have not dealt with it, partly because they want to understand what actually happened, and partly to get sympathy. These people probably need some understanding caring people in their lives, and if they find that via their blog, then that can only be seen as good by me.
Then there might be attention seekers. Once again, an attention seeker has issues, only unlike as with other people, these particular people might never get the help they need, as they are unable to share what really happened, if anything actually happened. Usually an attention seeker has at least one really horrific experience in their past, so bad that they just can't go there, and they will go on about any other incident, except the one they really would be better off dealing with.
Happy Easter!
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.. the joys? of Easter? . . .
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Posted:Apr 4, 2012 7:49 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2012 9:01 pm
2796 Views
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... and it's Easter, oh, dear, more negatives! Then again, could be seen as positive, depends on what your perspective is.
For Christians, it's a time of sadness, and then on Sunday celebration.
Ok, as I am no longer Christian, I have my own perspective, and that has a lot to do with: Easter is the time that everyone goes away, and the thieves see that now is their opportunity.
Only in my case, the way things are, suggests that it would be very clever if I stay home all Easter, no matter what. I am not going to explain. I will be happy if Easter passes, and everything in my life is no worse than it was before Easter. That is my aim, to keep things as much the same as they are now throughout Easter.
Then when it is over, I can look at if there is something I would like to do for me, just not right now.
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Giving up Discussion Board
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Posted:Apr 2, 2012 9:39 pm
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2012 2:58 am
2609 Views
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I am giving up on the discussion board on my blog. For me, it doesn't work. That could have a lot to do with what I am. Sorry to anyone that really wanted it.
I think it's a good idea to put my new blogs up at the top though, until they have been there for a short time. If comments are added, great, if not, tough.
I don't know about you. I am really glad April Fools Day is over. Here right now it's already mid afternoon on the 3rd. I like it. Umm, if you are missing new posts from me, it could be because my mind is on other things like, what I am doing next, instead of I wonder if anyone has checked my blog.
Sorry to any who actually miss me. to the rest of you.
Hope everything is as good as possible with all.
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Rock fisherman died . . ..
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Posted:Mar 31, 2012 1:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 29, 2013 10:54 pm
2485 Views
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. .and another rock fisherman has died . . . wear a life jacket at all times . . . .
where does someone get off, telling a rock fisherman to wear a life jacket? and at all times?????
Who is this woman, that tells us that???
Have you ever been rock fishing? It's good. Would I ever wear a life jacket rock fishing? NO! Is it possible to get hurt rock fishing? YEP. I just hope it never ever happens to me, the thought of falling in off the rocks, OUCH! The thought of surviving falling off the rocks? Wow, that would be an achievement, just the thought of the potential pain of hitting my head on a rock below water level once I fell in, and blood going everywhere. YUK!
I hope I never ever get washed off the rocks, and I have fished off them many times, loved pretty much every time, with lovely fresh breezes to stay cool, or sometimes to freeze.
I am the mother of thongs on the rocks, as there are rocks where if you don't wear them, your feet are cut to pieces, and other rocks where if you don't wear something on your feet, they burn to smithereens with the heat, and if you wear any other footwear than thongs, the stupid things usually rot, fall apart, or similar. I am remembering this one new footwear that might be ok on the rocks, these plastic globby looking things, they might be ok. Forgotten their name, just as strange as they are. Knowing me, my feet would overheat in those shoes, which is why I have worn thongs since I was a young girl on the rocks.
I really feel for people who have lost someone rock fishing, because it doesn't happen often, only when it does, it's devastating.
If we should wear life jackets rock fishing, then maybe we should wear hard hats and kevlar gloves to protect us around home, as we live our daily lives! After all, touch the wrong thing, and you lose your hands, fingers, or die of electric shock. Stand in the wrong spot, and aircraft debris or a tree falls on your home, and kills you, excellent reasons for hard hats and gloves! .. if you get my drift.
. . and I would still go rock fishing, with thongs on. It's the only way to go.
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Failure!
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Posted:Mar 30, 2012 6:46 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:35 am
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Tonight was funny, only I didn't see it that way, as for once I proved beyond reasonable doubt that I am very human.
I have always had this air of confidence that I can do anything. Tonight I proved that might now always be the case, as by the end of the evening, I threw out what I had prepared earlier, just like in my young days!
I have been cooking these what I consider fantastic and really simple "ricotta and spinach filo rolls" for some weeks now. I do love them, cheese for calcium and protein, and they don't taste like they have too much fat, although how they couldn't is beyond me. I do mean the ones you buy frozen, and ready to just put in the oven.
Ok, so I watch them prepare filo pastry on TV, and see they are all stressed, only they are on a tight time schedule, and I can take my time if I want to.
Last night, I not only looked up filo pastry. I also looked up crumpets and croissants, partly for comparison, and much more because I just wanted to know how to make them. By today, I had lots of information, and it all should have been a breeze.
Well the preparation was. It took almost nothing to prepare the pastry. Then I set it aside to rest. Even when I forgot about it for about three hours, it seemed quite forgiving, and I figured that was because it was properly covered, and the moisture had been retained.
Then I sort of got stuck, so I decided to ring Mum, only her answering machine took my call. Then I thought ok, try one of my sisters, and for a change, I chose my baby sister. Oops, she had no idea, and not because of her age, because she has more than the woman in the shoe, and she doesn't mess around making pastry, has better things to do with her time. Ok, I deserved that.
The short version is that my kitchen is now cleaned up and the filo spinach and cheese rolls were the most amazing failure I have ever seen! What a sight! Wow!
I can cook! Only tonight I would have won the amateurs miserable failure award. It's easy to go, ok, too complicated. No, not really. I just didn't have my mind on the job. I was not together enough to focus on what I was doing.
When I rang my sister, I was trying to work on these rolls, and set up a concoction of the spinach and cheese mix in a mini blender. Then I sat down and kept chatting. At the end of the phone call, I really wasn't concentrating enough on what I was doing, and made a huge amount of mix, and then put the lot on a tiny amount of pastry. The pastry was overloaded, so it did what you'd expect. It broke, not in one place, all over the place, and then I sort of did careless damage control, because I just wasn't focussing on the job, made a touch more pastry, and just threw it over the rest, and then when it failed too, I just looked at it all stupid. Then Mum rang back, and by the end of the phone call, I was going to make pancakes, and just put all the mix in them, like cheese pancakes, or banana fritters, and yes, I have done both before. It could have saved the potential loss of food, only!
Then I just tired out, so off I went, had a sleep, and meanwhile the mix sat on the bench. By the time I woke up, I knew it would be off by now, so there really was no point. Umm, so it had to get flushed! Ok, so I am not perfect, only try telling me that!
I just don't understand that it's ok to make a mistake, and this one is quite funny, because I just set myself up for failure all the way from when I stopped thinking for myself. All I had to do, was stay with what I was doing, stop trying to get help, and just think for myself. Umm, actually, I am not sure how I would have handled things, as I think I just blew the whole thing.
Ok, at the make the mix to go on the pastry stage, I only had a small quantity of pastry. I could have put most of the mix in the fridge, while I made a few pastries to start with, with the pastry I already had, and then if I liked the outcomes, I could have used the rest of the mix.
Yeah, ok, so I was a total dill this evening, and now at midnight, I have finally cleaned up the mess, and am quickly baking some "instant dinner". Hmmmm! I mean how stupid can you be, to not even notice that you are really stuffing it all up!
That's me all over, if I make a mistake, it always has to be so big that everyone knows about it. Luckily, I don't often make mistakes, just when I do, they are always beauties.
OK, I want some dinner really soon, so I am going to microwave some veggies, so it's at least a bit healthy! That's better, they are on too now. Boring, crummy fish and chips, oven cooked, with nice micro veggies. Now if I get the tartare sauce, NO! smacked hand, no tartare! fat enough! Ok, I won't. Yummy! Umm, looks like the tartare is coming out! makes a boring dinner yummy!
It's not that bad anyway, as I eat that much healthy food, that a bit of wicked won't hurt at all.
So now you have discovered that wow, when she makes a mistake, it can be both quite funny, and quite a little beauty!
Hope your day/night is more positively eventful! Yum, dinner!
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More like a rant!
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Posted:Mar 29, 2012 8:18 pm
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2012 9:31 pm
2442 Views
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I wrote a blog about personal safety online and others about personal safety in general. What I heard on the news very soon after really horrified me. A woman was attacked in her bed by some young man. She was lucky enough to appear unscathed on the news. It's obvious though that she is not, merely appears that way, and that is vital after an attack. Because a male who attacks a woman has no understanding of women, she needs to appear very strong.
Many years ago, I was taught, show no fear, and I try to live by that. It has helped me on a few occasions. Not only that, I am a tough cookie!
I am not really saying what I have felt. I have felt that women are in incredible danger of being attacked, molested and abused, even losing their lives to assailants through both internet contacts and just everyday life in our current lifestyle. It's nothing specific, just a real general lack or loss of respect for women by young men, not so much older men, as they have seen more.
In my terms, it's as if "women's liberation" gave men license to abuse women as if they were men.
Women are not men, have never been men, and never will be unless they were born masculine, or undergo a gender change. Other than that, women are women, female, the "softer or fairer" sex. Even though science can simulate male pregnancy, women are the bearers of , not men, and that is where understanding seems to fail.
The whole system worldwide, seems to just have lost anything that it might have had in the past in the way of respect or consideration for women.
Now, while I say this, you need to be made aware that I, the person saying all of this, am very aware of men's limitations, shortcomings, failings, and also their strengths, their fortes, and their special abilities.
Perhaps the really big difference between men and women, and this is only most, not all, is that until a man reaches out for consolation and affection, he generally doesn't want any. That's not all men, just many men, in general. If he is in pain, or suffering, there is a good chance that he will be somewhere solo, or with only one companion near him, until he feels better. Note, the possible one companion, and that is not always a woman. It tends to be someone he trusts not to reveal "his weakness", so it could be a mother figure, or a male friend, or if he has a father only, it is likely to be his father, except if he is married.
The huge disadvantage of healing alone, or almost solo, is that the man involved gets none of the help that women naturally seek. He says "I don't need any help!" and similar things, to show how strong and tough he is. We all understand why, just each man loses so much when that happens. It's really clever for men to reach out, even if only to a limited few, hopefully to those who will be able to help them achieve real healing, either emotionally or physically, whichever they need. More than that, by reaching out for help, the men involved may just gain knowledge that they would not otherwise get.
Men, are warriors by nature, it is their natural job, to protect the home while women give birth to their offspring, so of course they can be quite aggressive. What men need to take to heart, is that women are by nature, carers and nurturers, because they give birth, and that weakens them to an extent, and they need that time of caring for the offspring and recouping themselves. Many women in the past never recovered from childbirth, for various reasons. Today, we are lucky, and women can be much stronger than they used to be.
To me, it's obvious, that when a man attacks an older woman in her bed, the man has an issue with an older female in his past. It's awful when he takes it out on a woman not associated with his life, just because he has an issue. I am not sure how this should be dealt with. Yes, of course the law needs to be upheld, the man caught and imprisoned. Just I am not sure that "punishment" is enough. To prevent this kind of behaviour in future, the man needs to be worked with, and somehow shown that taking it out on a stranger because of this or that reason does not resolve his issue.
This is where I get on my soap box, and say that revenge doesn't solve anything. Then I get told, but it makes you feel good. I look at the person who says that, and think they don't really feel anything. It's just that the revenge makes them feel something, which to them is better than nothing. It's about feeling yes, they did something about the original deed. Only often revenge is enacted on innocent bystanders, as it is doled out to the wrong person by accident. Often revenge is doled out on someone who never deliberately hurt the person who felt hurt, and it goes on.
Umm, is there anything left to discuss??? I have obviously aired my opinion!
So what do you think??? Why???
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free ...champas . . if . .. squirt .. . !!!!
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Posted:Mar 28, 2012 7:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:35 am
2480 Views
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"free bottle of champas if you can squirt on me"
WHAT????!!!!
That just shows exactly what I was writing about in the post that I had just completed, was about to review and post, only the phone rang. Then the computer rebooted to recover from another serious error!
.. .and you have no idea as to what I am talking about. . so I will try to explain.
Young man kisses young lady, strokes her hair, maybe kisses or touches her ear, then her neck, touches her boobs a bit, and then it's on, and it's over. He's done it! He has blown his load, and all is good in paradise. Why wouldn't she be satisfied?
Yep, at eighteen, and even perhaps twenty five, that's fine. It's all good at those young ages.
I do promise you that no emotionally healthy mature woman will squirt on that young man. The stupid thing is that women have cheapened themselves by posting themselves doing that. The man who offers a bottle of champas for a woman to do it to him does not value any woman, and should be ignored or treated with contempt. He makes women worthless just by his behaviour, and he has no idea as to how little he values them.
I used to have to wash my sheets most days. I promise you, I was not treated with a lack of respect when that was happening.
The reason that today I don't wash my sheets is choice. I chose to befriend a man who I respected. I respected him so much that I gave up my sex life for him. I valued him. He gave me reasons that I considered valid, so I changed my body language, to accommodate his desires. That is how much I did care.
I don't regret the time I gave him, why I wrote that sms. What I do feel is that he has no idea as to how precious he was to me. I don't think he has any idea as to what he really meant to me, nor that the fact that I had spent several years in his life, meant that I was there because I really cared, in the right way.
I don't know if he is just so damaged, that he will never work it out. I don't know. There are lots of "I don't know . ."s when it comes to him. It's ok. I don't have to know everything. It's enough that I know I was there when he nearly died, not once, a few times. Each time I was watching, waiting for him to recover, and become normal, and finally he was operated on, and then he seemed to come to life. It's his right to reject me, to not value me, and it's my right to realise that sometimes we value someone for all the right reasons, and then we lose them.
I have never even known if we would be physically compatible, as I just accepted the no touch rule, and never even tried to touch him in any way, other than passing a cuppa. Today, I am not even sure that we would be compatible. Today, I really have my doubts.
Maybe, like that eighteen year old man, he has no idea as to how to make love to a woman, in a way that she just sprays fountains everywhere, or makes "cheese" inside, that really smells nice, and when it comes out, it's really different. Maybe, like the young man, he has no idea as to how to make a woman really cum.
That would be because to make a woman squirt or really cum, you need to show her love, not just behind the closed doors, a bit like the friendship he gave me. He did give me unlimited friendship. His friendship was so good, that were he to cross the barrier he put up between us, he'd find the lady doing everything that he could possibly want, because he gave the love of a friend first.
. .. and it's ok that he has no idea, it's ok that he rejected her, and it's ok that he will never know.
That's what real love is all about, accepting the situation, and giving, tirelessly. You give your company, your words, no matter if they are perfect or not. You give your time, your labours of love, such as trying to make scrambled eggs for him/her for the first time in your life.
You might have no idea, and you might botch it, only you look up how to, or ask someone that knows, find out what you need to beforehand, and then you scramble eggs for this loved person, and whether they turn out or not, the fact is that you gave of yourself, lovingly, caringly, and that will give your partner orgasms, if not today, maybe next time, and you will make your partner orgasm one day, because you care, because you love that person, and you do put the effort in.
That is what will make a woman squirt, or spray, or produce cheese, your effort at making her happy, at showing her how much you love her. (It will of course help, if you know the technique as well.)
I have been loved, not once, a few times, in different ways. I have no complaints. I have been given in wonderful ways. When I hear a man complaining, I know that he has not been given enough love yet. When a hear a woman complaining, I know that she has not been given enough love yet.
When you have really been loved, no matter if you love that person or not, you do somehow gain something inside you, and if you are a real person, it will make you appreciate the other gender. You won't want to hurt, if you have grown up.
If on the other hand, like a , you just want to enjoy, and never grow up, sure you won't grow up. You also, will never experience unbridled passion, unbridled love, and you will never know what is talked about, when people talk about it. You will think you know, only there is a big difference between thinking you know, and quietly, confidently, knowing.
Yes, there are squirters, and I am one of them, only I don't squirt for just anyone. I don't squirt for a man who just wants to give me a bottle of champas for the experience. I am worth ten thousand bottles of champagne, so why would I cheapen myself? I am worth thousands of dollars, so why would I lower myself?
I, that's me, am worth more than any man can pay, so until I find the right man, no, it's not going to happen, because he needs to give as much as I give, or it won't happen.
It just doesn't happen for just anybody. It only happens for the right person, and yes, I used to make that happen for this one, and then when things went wrong for that one, only each time, I felt the one I was making it happen for was worth it. That's why he had the pleasure, and occasionally one just missed out, and that was because he was not up to scratch, only I could not tell him that, as he would never understand.
The man in question had to grow up in his time, at his pace, not when I said so. That is the issue. We can't all be grown up at the same time. Then when we finally do grow up, before we know it, it's time to pass our life force on to the next living creature.
Written partly in frustration, partly with love and care, and partly because I am sick of being the world's best kept secret. I know I am worth it, and am worthy. I know that I just haven't become attached to the right man yet, and maybe it can't happen, only I can have fun along the way, if I am very careful, and again, only with perhaps one, or another.
I have not willingly had many lovers in my life. That's because I have always been of the opinion, that just one ex, is one too many lovers in your life. Think about that.
It is the woman, who has been married for x years, or the man who has been married for x years, that feels fulfilled, provided they have always given of themselves. What happens a lot, is that one gives endlessly, and the other barely gives at all. Only, if you really love someone, you will not be counting how much they give you. Instead you will feel blessed by whatever they give you, and you will only want to give more to them.
It's really clever to know when to walk away.
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Walking Encyclopaedia
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Posted:Mar 28, 2012 4:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2012 7:57 pm
2596 Views
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When my younger two were growing up, I used to get questions in the vein of: Mum, how tall is a tree?
Darling that depends. If it's a gum tree, about sixty feet, or twenty metres. If it's one in the garden, it might only be about twenty feet tall, or about six metres, because there's no room for tall trees. Most of the trees in the garden are actually shrubs. Look right now, I can't tell you any more. Why don't you just look it up???
Oh, no Mum, I'd much rather ask you. You're a walking encyclopaedia!
But I might not give you the answer you're looking for. You need to look things up, just in case I make a mistake. You need to check that the information you have is right!
WHY???????
. . .and for a long time, I could not get through to them, how important it was for them to look it up. Then one day I had a question, and I looked it up, either in my encyclopaedia, or online, not sure anymore, could have been in the online encyclopaedia! We had Websters at that time.
I have this vague memory of being watched, and being asked what are you doing? I said I'm looking up . . . because I don't know . . . and the just watched in amazement.
So how come you know . . . and . . .????
Because when I didn't know, I looked it up, and found out.
????????? Wowww...
and for the first time ever, my was looking something up after that, and from then on they looked it up.
This also happened with spelling, as for a while there, I was not together, and had totally forgotten the spelling of pretty much everything, well, maybe not everything, just it felt like I was hopeless at that time. When your spelling is that atrocious, it really pays to grab the dictionary, and I did. It's amazing how fast you relearn the spellings, when you bother.
Next thing, the looked up spelling, meanings, and all sorts, and at school they had computers, so they looked things up online as well. Maybe that's why they didn't keep in touch when I moved here. I had done all I needed to in their eyes, and they didn't need me anymore.
It's ok. I have other things on my mind, and will pursue them next.
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