Body image
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Posted:Jun 12, 2011 1:14 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2011 6:20 pm
30577 Views
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I know most girls grow up thinking they're supposed to look like Barbies, and let's face it, a lot of men think women are supposed to look like Barbies as well. That kind of expectation can be intimidating and downright depressing to a lot of people in my opinion and observation.
I tend to see the insides of people more than the outsides. If they are beautiful to me it's because of who they are, not what I "see" when I "look: at them. Notice the quotes? They're there literally and on purpose.
I have been attracted to many different "types" of people. And by attraction I don't necessarily mean sexually. The more I've looked at certain people the more attractive or less attractive they've become because of their ACTIONS, not their visual appearance. The kind of people that I truly like are as different as can be in so many ways! There are some common threads though in my tapestry of friendship.
Intelligence is a requirement. I can't and don't deal well with stupid. Ditzy, I can do. Downright ignorant willful retardedness I can't.
Big boned, chubby, fluffy, fat, skinny challenged, Ben & Jerry dependent, fearful of small, all of that, doesn't matter one shitload to me. Skinny, boney, skeletal, anorexic, bulimic, fearful of cellulite etc, doesn't matter to me. Buff, fit, lean, hawt, sexy, trim, a 10!!! Ditto. I don't give a frilly frick what the holy hell anyone visually looks like. If I like 'em I freakin' like 'em.
It'd be for everyone's minds that I actually like 'em.
Now I'm not talking sex or the dirty or the brown chicken brown cow thing here. I'm talking actually giving a fucking shit about someone. The 'hell yeah I'd be there for ya' stuff.
That shit's priceless. The fucking, hell it's a dime a dozen or less with a coupon. 
Me, I fucking like me. Do I wish I didn't have a touch of baby belly? Hell yeah. Does it make me hate me? Not most days. Do I think anyone should tell me I'm worth less than I am because I haven't made the top 100 sexy people of the world? Uh- no. Not too fucking likely.
What do I think?
I think that sexy is a state of mind and in the eye of the beholder. Do I think shitting on someone's chest is hawt? Um, no. Am I sitting here hating on anyone because THEY think it is? Again, no. To each their freakin' own.
Am I judgemental? Sometimes. But most of the time I keep that shit to myself because I recognize everyone's right to their own thoughts and feelings and respect other's feelings.
I don't want anyone all up on my 'nuts' so why the fuck would I get up on anyone else's? Live and let live and that sort of stuff unless it's truly depraved and hurtful.
I'm pretty sure I make my objectives and morals known. I'm not shy about speaking up and telling everyone exactly how I feel about any given subject, but I'm also pretty open minded and easy to approach about any given subject and will discuss openly with respect and interest. After all learning is an essential part of growing and personally I'm all for growth in an intellectual way. 
Anywho, here's the stuff I'm wondering for the day:
Does someone have to look a certain way for you to enjoy them as a person, as a sexually desirable individual, or as a friend?
Do you enjoy the way you look regardless of waist, bust or any other measurable size?
Do you think people should fit a certain "LOOK" in general?
Do you enjoy diversity in all things and persons?
Ya'll have seen pics of me here or met me in person. Does my image have anything at all to do with why you like me or not? How about other people? 
Anywho, it's a curiosity of mine. The floor is open, let's all have a discussion. Don't be shy now. 
I'm making this private for a bit so no cheating by what someone else said.
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14
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, 2 Pending
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Nipple eating monsters
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Posted:Jun 7, 2011 8:09 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2011 12:16 pm
20589 Views
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The cookout was a lot of fun today.  Pater Familias and the midgets were there of course, his parents and his brother & sister-in-law and their baby. His parents have what he calls a rent-a- jokingly. She was a part of the fresh air fund but they liked each other all so much she's a part of the family now and even lived with them most of the year and did school up there. She's going home for the Summer though, so it was kinda a send off thing for her.
Wee One was in the woods on the top of the hill where the fire pit was looking for toads and turtles and bugs. All the adults and teens were sitting by the fire while the little ones were running around playing. She comes screaming out of the trees "There's a monster in there and it's wants to eat my nipples!!!" 
Now THERE is an ice breaker! 
PF told her straight faced that the monsters do tend to go for the nipples first.  Everybody was cracking up by then.
PF had a good time telling them all about his conversation with our neighbors a couple of days ago. Apparently they were having a few beers together and Neighbor decides to get out his chainsaw and chop down the trees running the back line of our property. I didn't care, PF didn't care, (he always likes to have stuff to burn in the fire pit anyways ) and so they did it. His wife came out and was upset about it. She asked if I knew as she realized I was inside sleeping after working all night. He told her no. She asked what if I'm mad about it as well. He tells her he guesses we'll just have angry sex for a few weeks until I'm over it.
He told her about these yellow lilacs I found online though and said we'd plant them to replace the trees that came down. I guess she thought that'd be alright.
His dad liked the Baby Crack story.
His brother is glad he has only one I think.
And there were Smores! I didn't have any, but the midgets were all sugar highed up.
I wasn't as nervous as usual. Maybe I'm getting more used to them, or maybe they're just easier for me to be around. Or maybe it was every one's great advice. I'll introspect on that later.
Rotten Bastard called me this afternoon wanting a visit with the midgets TODAY. Clearly I already had plans.  He decided to throw a hissy because I wouldn't drop my plans to suit his last minute wishes. "I'll just write this down on my calendar that you wouldn't let me see the today."  WTF dude! He didn't ask to see the for over a month, he deemed today to be THE DAY and so I'm supposed to fucking jump cause he said so?!? No. Not going to happen. Anywho, he threatened and whined and ass-hatted until I hung up on him. I so hate it when grown ups don't act like adults. 
I told the later that their dad had wanted to visit today, but because we'd already had plans that he would need to reschedule but he wasn't too happy that I'd said no for today. I wouldn't have said anything, but I didn't want him to bring it up and dramatize and lie to them about the situation. 
Cinderella asked, "What did he want to do with us?"
So I told her that he wanted us to walk to the park at the end of our street.
She said, "He wanted us to miss THIS for THAT? No, I don't think so!" Everyone seemed to agree with her.
The Queen of No Pants "But I love (PF's mom)!"
Drama Queen *rolls eyes* "Why can't he plan stuff for days we're not doing stuff?"
Wee One "I petted a frog."
Anywho, the day was mostly good, with only that little bit of douchieness thrown in there but the good overshadowed the shmuckiness.
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9
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Bug off!
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Posted:Jun 7, 2011 9:47 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2013 3:12 pm
22990 Views
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These creepy centipedes are in my garden. I can't seem to find them on any website to know what it is called though.
They come up from the river and burrow into the ground. I'm guessing that this is where they lay their eggs.
The chickens aren't the least bit creeped out by them, in fact they seem to think they're delicious. 
I found one in my kitchen one year. I was not impressed.  That fucker must have climbed steps or the wall to get in!
Anywho, they're nasty, but a part of nature so...live and let live. Until the chickens get 'em that is.
Does anyone know what it is?
Do you have creepy weird things where you live?
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19
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Zombified
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Posted:Jun 3, 2011 5:55 am
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2011 3:34 am
25588 Views
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Augh! I woke up this morning wanting a cup of coffee so much! I stumbled out to the kitchen in my normal graceful  manner eyes half shut groaning a little bit at the fact that I was awake and had to be, got the filter down, put the grounds in it without spilling too much, filled the back with water, hit the start button... nothing.  Hit it again. Nothing. Hit all the freaking buttons in random order a few times a little panicked. Nothing. 
So I tried to fix my bed head. Threw a hat on it. Jumped in my van and cruised on to Wally world.
Searched all the coffee makers. $100+ bucks for a machine that brews my brew?!?  I fucking think NOT!
Grabbed the cheapest maker that makes 12 cups. It doesn't say what kind of filters it takes. (I had an earlier mishap where I bought a bunch of the wrong sized filters for my coffee maker, then bought a bunch that did fit it. I have a TON of filters. )
It's less than $10.  It will do.
I get it home. Pull the filter full of grounds out of the broken coffee maker and try to shove it in the new maker. It's not the same shape as the filter basket. It will fall over if I put it in as is.
So I look at it for a bit.
I figure out if I put a filter on top of the filter filled with grounds, AND squish it down to fit in the basket, that it will hold it in without spilling over.
It worked. Kinda. I look at my sad little cheapo machine though and realize I will never want to get up and futz with the filter business, and that I don't want to buy yet more filters to fit the lil piece of caca.
So I put in an emergency order with Gevalia to get a real coffee maker that will fit my filters and make me happy to look at AND not cost me a small fortune.
Pater Familias just got a refill and asked me why I didn't take the cardboard out from under the carafe. 
I guess I need another cup too.
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15
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Of course size matters!
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Posted:May 28, 2011 11:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2018 11:01 pm
22642 Views
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The size of my birthday cake that is.
Of course that may just wait until Monday...or maybe Tuesday...depending on how dead I feel after working my 3rd 12 hour night shift.
I'm thinking chocolate. Maybe. I'll accept all votes though!
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4
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Tick, tick, tick
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Posted:May 26, 2011 5:59 pm
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2015 4:36 pm
22332 Views
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Drama Queen showed up with RB this afternoon after her after school program.
store garage X-apt
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]**********************************************] ]*************************************Bus stop.]
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My House
Yeah. Suck.
Anywho, he's told her that his gf's apt's pool is open tomorrow knowing that I will not be driving the 2+ hours there between the 2 youngest's physicals, Cinderella's counseling, and my sleep pattern (insert insane laughter here) before I work my 3 12 hour night shifts in a row due to the holiday weekend.
So of course she wants to go and begins to throw a "why not" hissy fit. Perfect.
After the midgets are indoors mowing down on dinner I ask him if he's gotten his paperwork yet. He lies. It's nothing but drama and bull shit. I ask him to NOT get the hopes up for stuff when he knows my schedule. He denies.
Court is the first. I can't wait for this to be settled definitively with no recourse for the near future.
FFS I've bent over backwards to make parenting time a positive thing for him and the midgets. I just don't get the immature idiocy that drives him to be a douche so consistently.
It just frustrates the midgets. I can deal with the annoyance, it's their psyche I worry about. Daddy's an immature and selfish shmuck, and yet I'll never tell them that. I have far too much restraint for that. Eh, they're smart and will figure it out on their own. It's just too bad that he continues to play pointless harmful games. 
Anywho, Drama Queen went on to tell me later how RB was reading the GAL recommendations in front of her and cussing.
I got a little hurt this morning at work transferring a resident. She picked up her feet unexpectedly, and it pulled on my left shoulder a bit. It feels much better now though. Just twinges a bit.
We didn't finish those last two rows today either...maybe tomorrow between appointments.
I have to put my van in the garage to try to pass inspection as it's almost the end of my birthday month. Why is it that the birthday month is such an expensive one?
Wee One and The Queen of No Pants have their physicals for preschool and Kindergarten tomorrow as well.
My birthday is on Sunday. I bought myself a real scorpion encased in a tear drop shaped green (I'm guessing plasticish stuff) thingy on a silky cord. I so heart E-bay.
Just another day in the life of Peeks.
Got any good plans for the weekend?
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5
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Social skills
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Posted:May 25, 2011 12:08 pm
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2011 6:35 am
22019 Views
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I got to show off my inadequate social skills today with Wubby's mom at Borders with Wee One and The Queen of No Pants.
I'm happy to report that we're still both real, and didn't traumatize anyone too terribly. Also as a bonus, we won't be listed on the wall of people not allowed to return.
The weather is gorgeous today...and now I'm going to try to sleep until work tonight. I was going to try and finish the last 2 rows in my garden, but PF and I are both too bushed today. So he's on midget duty and I'm out.
Do you have your gardens all in yet?
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2
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Trustiness
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Posted:May 23, 2011 11:06 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2011 6:34 am
22601 Views
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Yeah, I like to make up words once in awhile. Trust though, real trust. It's not an easy thing for me. I've been fucked over so many times by the people I was supposed to be able to trust that it's not something I do very often or very easily.
Treat others the way you want to be treated. Check.
Give the benefit of the doubt. Checkish.
Trust until you have no reason to. I try to, I really do!
Don't be paranoid. Fuck. Really? How do I erase something from my psyche that's been burnt into it repeatedly?
You wanna know what I do? I watch people. I watch 'em a lot. And I shut up until I've watched 'em enough. Sometimes it makes people think I'm stuck up or shy, but what it really is, is me watching to see if they are who they represent. How people behave towards others lets me know how they're going to behave towards me. If they're back stabbing shmucks, I'm gonna see it and avoid telling them anything about myself. If I hear 'em telling one person one thing and another something completely different, I'm gonna know they're liars and not believe anything they spout out.
This means I don't develop a lot of close friendships. I fucking hate people. Not all people, just the ones that fuck around being fake or assholish. And that encompasses a LOT of people.
The friends I do have, I cherish them. They are the people I trust. They are the ones I watched and found worthy of my time and efforts. They are the ones I can turn to no matter what and say anything to. If I fuck up, they're the ones I spill it to and know that I won't be attacked or absolved, just listened to. When things go wrong, they are the ones I know I can count on to comfort me. When things are awesome, they're the ones I celebrate with, even if it takes me some time to get around to it. (I'm busy! Don't judge me! )
Anywho, complete and utter trust doesn't have to mean being completely stupid right? I get it that people are fallible and will fuck up from time to time as well. I know some of the people I trust have slipped and maybe said something they shouldn't have, or done something they regretted later. Nothing huge or life changing, but hurtful just the same. The thing is if I know they're truly sorry, I'm gonna let it go. Most of the time without even saying anything about it. I've figured out I've never been freaking perfect either.
But I do have my own moral code that I always follow to let my friends know that they can trust me as well.
I always tell the truth even if it hurts someone, though I will try to soften the blow if I can.
I always keep my word when humanly possible. If it's not, I fess up.
I keep other's secrets secret.
And I do treat others as I want to be treated. Most of the time. 
Do you have trust issues? Do you give the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise?
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13
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Truth or dare
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Posted:May 21, 2011 10:38 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2011 6:33 am
24347 Views
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Let's play an interactive game of Truth or Dare. Nothing hurtful or outside anyone's personal ethics, but just some fun between blogging friends.
What do you say? Truth or dare? 
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23
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To link to this blog (peekabooicu2ucme) use [blog peekabooicu2ucme] in your messages.
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I told her that it's because I love her, even when she makes it damned hard to like her and because I believe that she can be better than what she came from. 
