THIS IS REALLY WHO GOD CREATED FIRST & WHY.....
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Posted:Jun 8, 2009 9:02 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2024 8:55 am
2573 Views
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After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to
>> visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" God
>> inquired.
>>
>> "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The
>> sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells,
>> the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just
>> one problem . It is these breasts you have given
>> me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I
>> am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching
>> them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They
>> are a real pain," reported Eve.
>>
>> And Eve went on to tell God that since many other
>> parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs,
>> eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two
>> breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically
>> balanced," as she put it.
>>
>> "That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my
>> first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals
>> six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half
>> of those, but I see that
>> you are right. I will fix it up right away."
>>
>> And God reached down, removed the middle breast and
>> tossed it into the bushes.
>>
>> Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in
>> the Garden of Eden.
>>
>> "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
>>
>> "Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one
>> oversight on your part. You see, all the animals
>> are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has
>> her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I
>> feel so alone."
>>
>> God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve,
>> you are right. How could I have overlooked this?
>> You do need a mate and I will immediately create a
>> man from a part of you.
>>
>> Now let's see............where did I put that
>> useless boob?"
>>
>> Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that story
>> about the rib?
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A NAMED SEX
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Posted:Jun 8, 2009 8:37 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2024 8:55 am
2627 Views
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Everybody I know who has a usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." - My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."
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Which is the most common penis size, when erect? 3 to 5 inches 5 to 7 inches 7 to 9 inches
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Posted:Jun 8, 2009 8:26 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2024 8:55 am
2604 Views
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9 out of 10 men have a penis that measures between 5 and 7 inches
when erect. Many men worry that their penis does not measure
up, but in reality, size is not what matters. People prefer
different sizes or even thicknesses and some people just
don't care about size at all. Since you can't really
change the size of your penis without surgery, the best
option is generally to love and accept what you have and
focus on finding out what truly gives you and your partner
sexual pleasure. You will probably find that you get little
complaint with that approach – no matter what size you are!
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Where is the clitoris located?
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Posted:Jun 8, 2009 8:17 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2024 8:55 am
2614 Views
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The clitoris, usually a woman's most sexually sensitive
spot, is located between a woman's inner labia. When
looking at a woman's exterior genitals, you will see
that she has two "lips" of fatty tissue, called
the labia majora or outer labia. If you gently pull the outer
labia open, you will see a smaller pair of lips that are not
covered with hair, called the labia minora or inner labia.
At the top of the inner labia, you will find that the labia
meet to form a little fold of skin called the clitoral hood.
If you pull the hood back, you will expose the glans (the
tip) of the clitoris. Women vary widely in the type of stimulation
that they prefer on their clitoris, so you should definitely
experiment (on yourself) or ask (your partner) to find
out what works best in your case.
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Professional Passion Pleasure Play
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Posted:Jan 25, 2008 2:36 am
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2008 9:51 am
2899 Views
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How many of us have fantasized, dreamt of, wanted, or even have done someone with a professional position? (i.e your doctor, dentist, boss, teacher, cab driver..lol, judge, police, etc.)..I know I have thought about my good-lookin dentist filling me full of gas, then taking advantage of the situation, or a doctor during the exam puts my feet up in the stir-ups, drops the end of the bed so my ass is hanging off the end & my hands are placed on the side where I get a good grip- my legs already up & spread as he puts a piece of gauze over my mouth, then move between my legs, teases my pussy opening with the head of his cock...before mounting me, slamming harder and deeper with each thrust, sweating all over my naked body & I feel it running between my ass cheeks...I grip with all my might to the side of the bed as he pulls his cock from me, then rams me deep again, try to hold on & keep my balance as he places his hands onto my shoulders to go yet deeper & harder inside me...filling me full of the serum..(oops, I mean semen) that the doctor knows will make me feel all better....
This is what I call "Professional Passion Pleasure Play"!!!
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Sexual gratification, what would you use to get off?
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Posted:Jan 1, 2008 8:02 am
Last Updated:Jan 13, 2008 8:16 pm
2767 Views
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Have you ever tried or thought of using an object, animal, food, or any other uncommon device for own sexual pleasure? Well, I once had this friend who used her dog. It was a little wennie dog...but she used the tongue, not the wennie..lol. She'd let it lick her pussy with it's lapping tongue under the covers before she went to bed.- Another friend of mine used cucumbers before serving them to her family, & once I saw a lady ride the gears of her stick shift truck. Carrots, bananas, & polish sausages have been known to satisy more than just hunger. I have heard of girls using curling irons cause once inside,they can be opened up & with the other prong used to gently rub up against the ass getting both holes filled. - What about Richard Gere & his hampster incident? Cum on...who has a story to tell?
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The Creation of a Pussy
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Posted:Jan 1, 2008 7:26 am
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2008 4:52 am
2669 Views
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Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, smart with wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit. Second was carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole. Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within. Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without. Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell. Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee, touched it and blessed it and said it could pee. Last came a sailor, dirty little runt, he sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt.
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A woman's orgasm
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Posted:Jul 24, 2007 12:29 am
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2008 4:53 am
2998 Views
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When a woman orgasms, she experiences a series of multiple rhythmic muscle contractions. The first few contractions will be closer together, then start to taper off in intensity and frequency as the orgasm diminishes. These contractions occur in the uterus, vagina, and often the muscles of the anal sphincter. In addition, she may feel muscle contractions throughout her body as well as increased pulse and breath rate. An intense female orgasm can have in excess of twelve contractions.
_____________________________
Is it possible for a woman to ejaculate?
I call it squirting....
It is possible for some women to ejaculate. Sometimes, when a woman is sexually stimulated – particularly on her G-spot, she will ejaculate an amount of fluid that is very similar to the fluid produced by the male prostate. While some people who are unaware of a woman's ability to ejaculate may think that it is urine, female ejaculate is definitely not urine. The ejaculate is produced primarily by a woman's skene's glands. It can be quite messy when a woman ejaculates; an easy solution is to visit your local drugstore and buy a package of super absorbent pads for your bed (about 18" x 24"), originally intended for incontinence.
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How long does sperm live?
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Posted:Jul 24, 2007 12:25 am
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2008 7:13 am
2995 Views
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How long after intercourse can a sperm stay alive inside a woman's body?
24 hours
48 hours
5 days
10 days
A sperm can stay alive inside a woman's body for about 5 days after intercourse when a woman is at the most fertile phase of her menstrual cycle. The length of time a sperm can survive inside a woman after ejaculation depends on where a woman is in her cycle. If a woman is near ovulation, the sperm can live up to 5 days. However, outside of a woman's fertility window (around ovulation), the sperm will only live for a couple of hours.
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Do you swallow?
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Posted:Jul 24, 2007 12:15 am
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2008 7:15 am
2804 Views
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Some girls beg, some girls borrow. Some bring joy and some bring sorrow..but unlike those, I'm one of the best...I suck & swallow & Fuck the rest.....
What kinda girl are you or do you perfer?
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