Another wierd thing... fantasizing about... me?
|
Posted:Aug 12, 2009 7:06 am
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2009 11:13 pm
4545 Views
|
Hi there blogland! I haven't been on here much - been working and also just enjoying the hell out of my new man. He's well.... unbelievable. The connection that we have is so strong and so multi-dimensional - there is little doubt that this is the relationship we've both been looking for our whole lives. 
But, he's still a man. And, I'm still bi. And so, I have found that I will see women on the street and feel a moment of attraction for them. From time to time I will have fantasies or daydreams about being with a woman. None of this is intolerable or something I feel I must act on, it's just the level of mental interaction that a lot of people (especially men it seems) experience while still being perfectly content in a monogamous relationship - which I am.
But, the other day something happened that I thought was interesting and worth sharing. I was with my BF, and he was going down on me. I was enjoying it completely. But I found myself fantasizing about being in his position for a moment. I was imagining what he saw, what it felt like for him, what he was smelling and tasting, the sight of me writhing in pleasure and cumming repeatedly. And oh, I got so turned on. I so wanted in that moment to be him. Yes, going down, on... me. Which is not the same as wanting to go down on yourself, because in my mind there were two people, just, both me.
Very odd, but fun! And yeah, I'd love to clone myself. Since then I have also been thinking about a lot of fun things I could do with my BF with two bodies also I haven't been fantasizing about threesomes with a true third party - first of all I am enjoying our intimacy far too much and secondly he's not really interested - but I have been thinking of all the fun that two mes could have with him and each other.
Anyone know how to make this happen? 
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
Weird consequence of being bi and in a relationship....
|
Posted:Jun 26, 2009 6:09 pm
Last Updated:Jul 12, 2009 9:42 pm
4327 Views
|
So, the great news is, I met a man on here that I am in love with, and we are in an exclusive relationship. I love him so much and while it's still early, well, it's amazing.
As has been the case in the past when I'm in love, I don't really notice other men. A drop dead gorgeous guy can walk right in front of me, and I won't even notice. Or, if I do, it is in a very dispassionate sort of appreciation, with as much sexual energy as I might feel about, oh, a vase. AKA none at all. I see men that I've been intimate with in the past and not been able to keep my hands off of, and it doesn't really even register. This has been the case in all my relationships, as long as I can remember, except when something is going drastically wrong and breakup is emminent.
My first experience with a woman was about 1 1/2 years ago. I haven't been in a monogamous relationship since that time.
The very odd thing that I am experiencing now is that I find myself noticing and being attracted to women that I see on the street or meet. "Oooh, she's hot, wonder if.." Huh? I feel like a guy! I know that men have these thoughts about women even when they are in a relationship, but this is a new one to me. I'm not really sure why, either. Maybe because I haven't been with a woman in a while? Maybe my 'guy sex quotient' is filled by my boyfriend but the other isn't?
And I should clarify, it's not that I think something is missing or that the temptation is strong - because it's pretty fleeting and not serious at all. But it just amazes me that they register with me at all, when that hasn't happened to me before.
Hmm... guess you learn something new every day....
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Plastic surgery = insecure?
|
Posted:May 26, 2009 10:05 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2009 9:41 pm
4965 Views
|
Hey there blog friends, sorry I've been so quiet. Just been working my butt off and playing hard too.
So, here is the ponderance of the day. Is everyone that has plastic surgery insecure by definition? I'm not talking of course those that have it for some disfigurement (breast cancer, etc.). I'm talking about people that have something about them that is well within normal, but they choose to alter it. At what point does it become vain?
I take a pretty hard line on plastic surgery. I'm small chested, even extremely so. I shop for bras in the little girls' department, no joke. But I'd never consider surgery. In the end, I attract men that are interested in who I am, and, well, OK, the legs and butt don't hurt. And there are some people that would never be attracted to me, and that's just fine.
In the end, there will always be things about yourself that you don't like and just have to accept. For me, accepting the things on the outside that everone can see only helps me to be better about accepting the things on the inside that other people can't see. Trying to perfect yourself only leads to ruin.
So I say cosmetic surgery = insecure. Agree? Disagree?
(And BTW, it is not as if people fall into only two camps, 'secure' and 'insecure.' We're all insecure to some degree, that's just what being human is about. But too many are in denial.)
Song for the day:
india.arie
"Video"
Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I dont
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I wont
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul
I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be india arie
When I look in the mirror the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where its supposed to be
And I know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin what I see
I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be india arie
Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, its all an illusion,
Confusion's the name of the game
A misconception, mass deception
Something's gotta change
Don't be offended this is all my opinion
Ain't nothing that I'm sayin' law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson
I was sent here to share with Y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'cuz everythings gonna be all right
I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be india arie
Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your Crystale and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don't need your silicone I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine
I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be india arie
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
That little bitch.....
|
Posted:May 10, 2009 10:38 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2009 7:56 pm
4476 Views
|
She looks so innocent, doesn't she? Sitting there looking all sweet?
GRRRR..... So I've posted before on the dining habits of my labrador. My ate WHAT
She's been on a tear lately. First, on Friday I was a bad mom and left the babygate down between the kitchen and the livingroom. The garbage is in the kitchen. Or, it WAS in the kitchen - by the time I got home from work, it was strewn everywhere. Lord only knows what was in there, but I know at least some of it was seriously moldy bean dip that I'd thrown out earlier in the week. That was licked clean. Eww.. Oh, and my whole house smelled like mold. Great.
OK, so that was my fault.
On Saturday, I managed to leave the baby gate down again, and with the exact same results. Though why she needed to get in there when she'd already consumed everything marginally edible the day before, I'm not sure.
OK, my fault again. Some hotshot trainer I am, I can't even train myself!!!
So tonight I come home, and what do I find? I did put up the babygate. But earlier today I'd gone to Costco and bought (among the inevitable carload of other crap) 3 lbs of dried apricots ($9). I had placed them on the kitchen counter, near the back. And somehow, that goddamned managed to steal them off the counter, without knocking off anything else, and eat ALL THREE POUNDS. She did throw up most of them. She did not chew them. I can only figure she stood on the top of the babygate somehow.
This from a that is 11 years old and holds multiple titles in obedience competitions. She is completely incorrigible!!!!
I still don't know how she managed to get the apricots. Anyone have a video camera surveillance system to loan me??
P.S. - Oh, that's right, I forgot. Today she also stole an almost-but-not-quite empty bag of cereal out of the garbage while I was home. She is getting more brazen. I swear she is part velociraptor - constantly testing the boundaries (real and metaphorical) for weaknesses!
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
RANT: Guys, seriously!! Do you really think I'm gonna respond to that?
|
Posted:May 10, 2009 7:27 am
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2009 7:06 am
4363 Views
|
Disclaimer: This is not directed at the respectful and intelligent guys who write me something to the effect of "I see that you're not meeting anyone new right now, but I just wanted to say I really liked your profile, and I'm open to chatting if you're interested." While I'm not interested right now, I'm flattered that you took the time to write to me, and you're smart enough to read and nice enough to treat me with respect. So thanks.
And now for the rest of you:
I simply cannot BELIEVE some of the messages that I get here on Local Adult Companion. I mean, honestly, what are these people thinking?? OK, yeah, some of them are just dumb, form letters to anyone who might respond. Some of them are from guys that are obviously idiots.
And then there are the ones that are too strange to be believed.
"hey what s up I'm herer 29 m attractive and looking for fun as loing as your not hiding a penis then get back to me so we can trade #s "
As long as I'm not hiding a penis????
This guy is from Zurich:
"Hello
So why this maill from far away?First it is that I admire your profile….second reason is that I’m planning to stay at the Bermuda Southampton in June and looking for company…of course I would be awere of the charges. in my life I dated younger women but never was happy..my last two relationships I had with ladies older than me,13 or 16 years older and I felt great,for this reason I wanted to keep up this lifestile,date ladies between their 40s and 60s ...and by the way I love your lingerie...and your smile...for now I changed and I'm very also much into younger ladies...so age doesn't matter...guess we could play with a lot of fun!
Martin "
Huh??
And this from a guy in Istanbul:
"Hi ,
Would you be interested in meeting to share some fun time together ?
Thanks."
Um... has it escaped your notice that you are 6722 miles away from me right now??? Sure, I'd love to meet! When will you be coming over??
(ditto similar messages from men in Bahrain, the Philippines, Korea...)
And then, the best ever message. Extra smartgirl bonus points for anyone that can identify the drug(s) this guy was on, or at least the ones he should be on....
"I would love to take you out and just hoping to fingers and my great toughne to work on your great hot sexy legs ! I will have stockings so wet that you will beg me to inter you but I will hours till your body has cum time after time that you are ready for to cum to your max , and you will screaming and love every hours of it ! if you want a fast fuck im not for you but I can tell that you like to tease men and to be from a man that know how to work your body to be wild !!!!"
Oh baby!! Inter me!! I am ready for to come to my max!!!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Most annoying pet names
|
Posted:May 7, 2009 9:33 pm
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2009 10:09 am
4531 Views
|
Hello fellow blonglanders!
OK, I need your help. Over the past few days, a friend and I have been harassing each other with pet names. He calls me "sticky buns" and I call him "babycakes." Then he'll call me "sweetums," and then I need to come up with something even more annoying and/or offensive to call him in return. You get the idea.
So I am recruiting you all to my team - what are some of the most irritating pet names I could call him?
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
When did you know you were in love?
|
Posted:Apr 30, 2009 7:06 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2009 10:55 pm
4283 Views
|
I was talking to a friend of mine this week and I recalled a funny story from my past. I think I remember the exact moment that I first fell in love, or at least when I first realized it.
I was in high school, and had a 'boyfriend,' which was a nebulous sort of distinction between just having a friend, since we didn't ever do anything, other than spend hours talking on the phone. He'd told me he would call me on a certain day. He called me that night, but just to tell me briefly that something had come up and he couldn't talk, but wanted to make sure he at least called. I think I realized right then that I loved him.
The most recent time I fell in love, was after several months. For some time things had been growing between us, but it was still underfined and murky. He'd stayed over the night before, and I woke up next to him. And the thought came to me, unbidden, "I want to wake up next to this man every day." And then I knew.
Most other times that I can recall, of an exact moment falling in love with someone new, were when looking into his eyes during intimate moments. I'd done that dozens of times before, but then one time you look at the same person and realize that something is different. There's a, I dunno, softness I see, along with an electicity.
What does this moment look like for you? What are those 'lightbulb' moments like for you?
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
RANT: Ladies, if you love him, PUT OUT!!
|
Posted:Apr 24, 2009 6:19 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2010 8:51 am
5566 Views
|
I'll preface this by telling a little bit about me. I had to take a personality test at work, and the results said I was an analytical personality type, mostly driven by data. One of my coworkers said, "That's surprising, because you can be pretty confrontational." My boss, who knows me very very well, piped up, "She's only confrontational when people are stupid." That is a dead ringer. So, if this sounds confrontational, it's probably because too many people are acting stupid!!!
I'll also say that of course this is a bit simplistic, but I'm of the opinion that most things in life are fairly simplistic. Occam's Razor and all that. And of course it doesn't apply to every situation, but it's a trend that's too strong to ignore.
I'll make this really freakin' simple. Are you listening? If you are in a relationship with a man, and you repeatedly and chronically turn him down for sex, you might as well just come out and say, "I don't love you," because that's what he hears.
In my time on Local Adult Companion and in the dating world in general, I have met SOOOO many men who have been denied not only sex but physical affection and intimacy by wives/girlfriends that claim to love them. I find it incredibly sad.
One man I know told me that his wife would only have sex with him every other month. On top of that, the ONLY way he had any hope of getting any was to make sure the house was spotless, in bed, and she had no excuse she could give of things she needed to do. Then he had to give her a massage to relax her, but not so much that she would get too relaxed and just go to sleep. He had to go through all this, and it worked about 25% of the time.
Then in trying to spice things up a bit, he got some dice from an adult store, in which one has a verb and the other a body part. On her first turn, she rolled "kiss cock." She wouldn't do it at all, then finally relented with her face turned to the side and eyes closed in thinly veiled disgust, and gave him the tiniest peck.
This is a guy who is a great father, successful, nice, funny. A guy that went to 4 different counsellors with her and really tried. This is a guy who is HOT, and whose #1 biggest turn on is just to be ALLOWED to go down on a woman for hours, and have her just enjoy it.
Another guy I know did not have sex with his wife for six years before their divorce.
Another guy is excited just to see me naked with the lights on, something he's rarely been allowed to do.
Another friend told me that his wife, left to her own devices, would not so much as touch him (kiss, holding hands, anything) for weeks at a time.
Another friend has sex with his wife about once a month, but only on her terms and only when she says. But, also only when he asks and does everything her way, and then he might or might not be successful.
When I hear this, it makes me so sad. I know how it feels to be perpetually shunned by the one you love. And I know that men in many cases mostly feel loved through sex. And their SOs either don't understand this or don't care, and they refuse to see that sex, like any other part of a relationship, does not work when one person effectively says, "Do it my way or we're not doing it."
Are there neglectful husbands out there? Sure. Do some men analogously ignore what is important to their mates. Yep. BTDT. But in far too many cases, the women just don't get it.
OK, so maybe you're not in the mood all the time. Is it REALLY going to hurt you to spend 15 minutes giving him a blowjob?? How difficult is this??!?!?!?
How much effort does it really take to let him turn on the lights once in a while?!?!?
Would it kill you to give a little instead of taking all the time??!?!
I can admit there were not always times that I felt this way. But what opened my eyes is when I started thinking of it in terms of an analogy to food.
Let's say you are the main cook in your house. Your man can cook a bit himself, and did it for a long time, but both of you know that your cooking is so much better. He's a good husband to you and really puts in effort. One night, he says he's hungry and asks if you'd please cook him dinner. You're not hungry.
If you're like me, and you're in love with this man, you'll go cook him dinner. OK, maybe sometimes you just make him a sandwich, but you do it with love.
What you don't do is blow him off, or, worse, demonize him for his appetite. "What's wrong with you? You're ALWAYS hungry!!" Yeah, well, he's a man and he eats more than you do. That's just the way it is. And in a loving relationship you don't say, "well, I'll make you dinner only on the condition that you cater to my every whim, and even then I might decide not to."
When I hear about this, the caring side of me just wants to take these men and do unspeakable dirty things with them. If I can make someone's day just by holding their hand, how could I not want to do that? If a guy's biggest fantasy is to have a woman give him a BJ and swallow, and his bitch ex thought that was disgusting, it just makes me want to do it. If all it takes to make your week is to allow you to go down on me for an hour, that's a pretty small sacrifice on my part.
Unfortunately, there are far too many men in this category and I just can't fuck them all. So, I'm sending you all virtual blowjobs. But, most of all, I'm here to tell you it's not your fault. It's not your fault that you have a sex drive. It's not your fault that despite your best efforts, your SO remains cold to you. Normal sexual contact is not disgusting, it's part of any healthy relationship.
I realize that the women that most need to hear this probably aren't on Local Adult Companion. So, I'm probably mostly preaching to the choir. But it just makes me so mad. There's simply no excuse for these loving, attentive, attractive men to have been treated this way.
So I'll say it again. If you love him, put out. Otherwise he's going to be writing to me soon.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
The strange little things that turn you on....
|
Posted:Apr 23, 2009 5:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2009 6:26 pm
4316 Views
|
I've been thinking lately about what really turns me on, and realizing that there are quite a few things that are really small in the big picture, that seem to have more impact than would seem likely based on face value. I'm not talking about being a good kisser or being well-endowed or things like that which are common. Here are some of the weird little things I'm attracted to:
if the area between your waist and hip is taut and lean (could not really care less about the rest for some reason)
a certain tone of voice I'll call 'growly'
sensitive nipples
long eyelashes (on guys, nice on women too but everyone likes that)
cologne (yes, I know it's pretty superficial, but it drives me crazy if you smell good)
cuddling during the whole night while asleep
I mean, how important are any of these things really? What's the big deal?.0
What are some of the odd little things you find attractive?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
My Song for the day (or, part of a song anyway)
|
Posted:Apr 20, 2009 9:45 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2009 9:35 pm
4326 Views
|
Sinead O'Connor
Emperor's New Clothes
and there's millions of people
to offer advice and say how I should be
but they're twisted
and they will never be any influence on me
but you will always be
you will always be
everyone can see what's going on
they laugh 'cos they know they're untouchable
not because what I said was wrong
whatever it may bring
I will live by my own policies
I will sleep with a clear conscience
I will sleep in peace
maybe it sounds mean
but I really don't think so
you asked for the truth and I told you
through their own words
they will be exposed
they've got a severe case of
the emperor's new clothes.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Jealousy, posessiveness, and insecurity
|
Posted:Apr 14, 2009 9:41 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2009 6:06 pm
4546 Views
|
In my life and relationships, I have never been the jealous type. It really doesn't make very much sense to me. A friend of mine once said that, "If the heart is going to wander, forbidding it won't stop it."
To my point of view, if someone I'm with wants to be with someone else, they should. If we've agreed to be exclusive, then they should break up with me first, but I won't try to convince them to stay. If someone is with me, I want them to be only because they want to and for no other reason.
On the flip side, I really can't abide jealousy in a mate. I have guy friends that are very special to me. Some of them I've slept with. So what. If I commit to someone, I commit to them. If I'm in love with someone, all my sexual energy is directed toward them, and I'm not even tempted to cheat, it's just beside the point.
Men will commonly say, "I trust you, I just don't trust him." Bullshit. Unless you think he's going to me, then trusting him isn't an issue since I decide what happens to me.
What is your tolerance for jealousy? How much do you think is 'normal?' And is any amount of jealousy a sign of insecurity?
(P.S. - couldn't resist choosing a mood that was neither a mood nor applicable)
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Loving vs. Being in Love
|
Posted:Apr 9, 2009 10:49 pm
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2009 11:29 pm
4755 Views
|
There is a subject that I've been thinking about quite a bit over the past few years. What is the real difference between loving someone and being in love with them?
There are a lot of people that I would say that I love. I care about them deeply, and they are very important to me, but at the same time I sense there is some essential missing secret ingredient.
I had a relationship many years ago. He was a wonderful man, and my best friend. In living together for 3 years, we never had a fight. He was kind, considerate, and a wonderful man, and he felt the same way about me. We supported each other and understood each other. To this day we are very good friends. Eventually, I came to feel like something was missing. The only thing I can really point to was that our sex life became sort of perfunctory, but other than that everything was great. Still, it felt like we'd just become best friends. I'm not sure why or how. When I first met my ex-husband and fell for him, I felt vindicated. After that relationship proved very crazy, now I'm wondering if maybe best friends wasn't so bad.
I also have a man that I met on here. We are really good friends now, and I care about him dearly. We had awesome sex for over a year. We care about each other, love to hang out and talk or do just about anything together. And yet, we both agree that we are not in love. He once told me, "I can't imagine liking someone any more, but not being in love with them."
So, I'm asking the peanut gallery: What is that magic difference between loving someone and being in love?
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
It's like a train wreck... you just can't look away...
|
Posted:Mar 30, 2009 8:34 pm
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2009 8:53 pm
4449 Views
|
So, people ask me from time to time about my divorce. I left my husband about 2 years ago, and the divorce has been final for 18 months. We FINALLY sold our house, so now everything is really finally done.
When they ask why I got divorced, well, it's a long story. It sounds cliche to say my ex went crazy, since so many people use that in a general sense. But no, I mean it literally.
I got the following message from him this week. Judge for yourself. He's been sending me similar messages for the past 2 years. I never respond, and I'm looking forward to blocking his email now that everything is done!!
--------------------------------------------------------
EDIT: I had originally cut and pasted his latest email to me here. I seem to kind of just put everything out there, and sometimes I might be insensitive to how it's perceived by others. A friend contacted me and told me he thought that it was mean of me to post it here. I certainly don't want to be mean to anyone, even if they've been mean to me, so I have removed it. Trust me, he's loony.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
To link to this blog (smartgirlinaz) use [blog smartgirlinaz] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
121
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
