Hot In The City, Hot In The City Tonight
|
Posted:Mar 19, 2015 9:05 am
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2015 5:58 am
20201 Views
|
Hello everyone!
First order of business today is a big welcome back to one of my favourite bloggers from days gone by gottaring 
It's been a while since she was here regularly so join me in giving her a big welcome back hug!
No, bigger....
Bigger!
THAT'S better 
In case you didn't know, she's the one responsible for my tag line 
You know...the "A full blown basket of hash browns with a steaming cup of 'WTF?" on the side" 
Yeah...that was her lol
Don't know where she came up with that idea though 
I don't see it, personally
Anyway, if you get a minute go check her out...I mean go check her BLOG out
*ahem*
Moving swiftly along....
I saw an interesting comment the other day around here somewhere.
I forget exactly where it was, but it stuck in my mind lol
Some guy said to some girl that he "wanted her spicy pussy" 
Ok...I've heard them described as hot...wet....tight...hairy...shaved...beautiful...delicious....but never SPICY
On the face of it, that doesn't strike me as a bad description..... but anyone who has ever chopped up chilli's and rubbed their eyes without scrubbing their hands first will testify....that's not something you'd want to have anywhere near your delicate bits
What a trip to the emergency room THAT would be.... lol
Nurse: What seems to be the trouble sir?
Dude: Ummmm....errrrr... well I was fucking this spicy pussy and now my tadger is on fire....
Nurse: Really? Spicy, huh? Are you sure you weren't chopping chilli's and decided to have a wank??
Dude: No, it was definitely a spicy pussy....
Nurse: Ok. Doctor? We have a lying wanker in cubicle three I'd like you to take a look at....
Oh, the things that amuse me....
If you could be inside my head....you'd be scared
Entertained...but scared
But just in case you're brave enough...the rabbit that works the controls could use a break
Got an empty co-pilot's chair waiting for a cute ass
Apply within, no experience necessary
Later folks!
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
Thinking, Trying To Free My Mind.....
|
Posted:Mar 17, 2015 10:56 am
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2015 8:48 am
18690 Views
|
Good day, ladies and gentlemen.
And Local Adult Companion'ers
lol
Hope everyone is enjoying themselves
And if you're not....I hope you're enjoying somebody else
It's a beautiful day out there...kinda
Sun shining, snow melting - can't complain really...although I'm sure we will anyway lol
Soon be time to fire up the old lawnmower and cut the dust
I actually saw someone doing that last weekend, believe it or not.....
Cabin fever??
Perhaps.... lol
Or maybe he's just crazy
Hard to tell with some people lol
Me?
I'm just crazy...but I ain't stoopid
I have it all figured out....
Lawnmower for grass...snowblower for snow...vacuum for dust
Pretty simple really
The names generally give you a clue lol
Oh well, each to their own I suppose
It would be a pretty boring world if we were all the same....
We'd have no one to point and laugh at for a start
On the subject of pointing and laughing....
Me.
Go ahead, you know you want to
Yes, boys and girls, it's all about me
This is my "pedestal"
This is the place where I stand up every now and again and say "look at me!"
If it wasn't so much like hard work, I'd maybe even do it more often
Doesn't bode well for my sexual prowess, now does it? lol
They say you can tell how someone will be in bed by watching them eat....
Could it be that blogging does the same thing?
Think about it next time you're reading someone else's blog?
Do you think it gives any indication?
Of course you realise that now, every time you read a blog, that thought will go through your head....
You're welcome
Just don't do it while you're reading mine lol
You'll be terribly disappointed
Mind you, mine do last longer and I stick the punctuation in all the right places
Not to mention copious use of tongue
Maybe there's something to this theory after all
I'd be willing to take part in the practical experiment....in the interests of research and furthering human knowledge of course
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
|
|
Generation Landslide
|
Posted:Feb 25, 2015 10:53 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2015 8:31 am
16562 Views
|
Hello everyone
Halfway through the week!
Cool, huh?
This is the point in the week when stuff gets done....
Everyone has finished talking about the weekend just past, and haven't started talking about the weekend to come....
There's a window of about half an hour to get some work done
So what do I do?
Yep, that's right...I come and blog
LMFAO
I get paid for this...and I don't even feel guilty
As someone so kindly reminded us this morning, in her own inimitable way, we're on the downward slope to springtime
Yes springtime, when a young man's thoughts turn to....well....same thing they turn to every other time of year.....sex!
Ummm...food!
Ummm...sports!
Ummm....all of the above
Not necessarily all at the same time...
'Cause that would be weird
Although...... watching Eugenie Bouchard while eating a sandwich pretty much covers it
Did you know that's why God gave men two hands, right?
Multitasking
Actually, she doesn't do much for me lol
Way too young for my taste
I can appreciate her on an aesthetic level..... she's pretty and well put together
But lust after her...nah....
She just doesn't flip that switch for me
On the face of it, there's no reason why not...she just doesn't.....
Attraction is a funny thing.....
I guarantee you couldn't put your finger on what it is about a person that attracts you to them, and doesn't attract you to someone else...
In my experience there's no rhyme or reason for it... it's not physical, certainly....
Female and breathing are about the only constants...
Oh and they're deal breakers too.... if you're neither, forget it
Body shape, hair colour, height...don't matter to me one bit....
Age is becoming an issue
The older I get, the less attracted I am to the younger ladies lol
Generation gap? Maybe... lol
The thought that if I had , they'd be a similar age is very off putting, never mind the lack of common ground lol
I mean what on earth would we talk about? lol
Never mind that I speak a different language
I still say "so and so has a new record out" lol
When I say "phone" I mean the one that plugs into the wall, the other one is a Cell
I still "tape" my shows on tv
I'd be like
And she'd be like
And I'd be like
And she'd be like 
And I'd be like 
And she'd be like 
And I'd be like 
And she'd be like  amp;
Yeah.
That's how it would go.
|
|
|
9
Comments
|
|
|
|
Spud's World, Spud's World, Party Time, Excellent!
|
Posted:Feb 19, 2015 1:42 pm
Last Updated:Feb 23, 2015 7:20 am
15582 Views
|
Especially for those of you a) old enough to remember the 90's and b) young enough to watch those movies
Bear in mind that the UK did not air the american version of SNL on tv....we had our own (much funnier BTW) version
So anyway....back to the reason for posting....
And here it is:
SCHWING!!!
Yeah... lol
Remember that?
lol
Yeah... lol
So if you read GhostofH blog the last couple of days you will be aware of the size of my cojones
....or my lack of filter
Could be either, I'll leave that up to you to decide
As I commented to him, "She will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine"
Oh and by the way, she IS a fox
Which, incidentally, led me to hear ethereal music permeating my workspace......
"Dream Weaver, I believe you can get me through the night...."
See?
There it goes again
LMFAO
Oh the memories..... lol
By the way, did you know that Garth's dream woman was Donna Dixon, wife of Dan Aykroyd??
You do now
And who could ever forget the moment when Bohemian Rhapsody is playing in the car.....absolutely classic!
Oh, the days of my youth
This blog is indeed my version of Public Access cable tv
Aren't you glad you tuned in??
Yes, ladies and gents...I was a rock dude when being a rock dude wasn't cool
Had the mullet and everything!
Skin tight jeans with the cowboy boots worn on the outside!!
LMAO
I was sooooooo cool
Still am.... just sayin'......
Those were the days my friends....
Hey wait a minute!
Maybe THAT'S why I was unsuccessful with women!!
Do you think??
Well that's enough reminiscing for today...
Party on, folks!
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
Jets On My Boobs - The Return
|
Posted:Feb 12, 2015 12:46 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2015 6:10 am
16125 Views
|
It's done!
Woot woot!
The Natural is off to beautiful Buffalo, and I couldn't be more pleased
Yes....it drops the "talent" level...
Yes...it drops the "speed" level....
But....
In terms of creating a TEAM....it's a real step forward...
Up until this year at least, I've always had my doubts about his commitment and work rate... he's been much better in that regard this season, granted, but the attitude hasn't changed since day one...
Here's my take....
IF you want to run your mouth, IF you want to conduct yourself in an abrasive, obnoxious manner, IF you want to disrespect your employer, your colleagues and the people who pay huge money to watch you.....all of which he's done since Day One in the 'Peg....
.......then you better damn well bring it on the ice.....every second of every shift of every period of every game....
Goal scoring aside.... you don't even need to be scoring...just bring it....
All the talent in the world...what a waste 
Still, I wish him well...hopefully he'll straighten out and go on to be the player he's capable of being, because it's not lack of ability that's holding him back
And no, I don't want to hear a single word about "he's only 23"....
That is no excuse.....
Witness #55??
Witness #8??
Witness #17??
People with that attitude and outlook never change unless they hit rock bottom...because it's never their fault...they never do anything wrong...
I mean what does it tell you when a guy who has played at the top level for 5 years and knows the expectations and rules of the organization and doesn't follow them?
This was no one-off incident...this was just the tipping point where enough was enough....
How many second chances does one guy get??
Mark my words - he now has a huge target on his back when Buffalo comes to town next year lol
However....I digress lol
I didn't intend to write a Jets blog, it just kinda happened lol
Let's get back to the sex.....
It's great
It's a bit like oxygen and money, if you have it you don't really think about it...
It's the lack of it that drives you crazy
And right now I'm lacking it... lol
Actually, if I'm honest - I'm always lacking it lol
I'm one of these people where no matter how much I get it's never enough
lol
But right now...man oh man I could do someone some serious damage
*sigh*
Luckily I'm a two hander.....otherwise my right arm would be twice the size of my left
*ahem*
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
Do You Wanna Start A Fire With An Old Flame?
|
Posted:Feb 10, 2015 2:40 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2015 6:01 am
15865 Views
|
Hello munchkins!!
What's the scoop?
My scoop?
Well I had a finger up my ass last week....
Yeah, I'm at THAT age lol
No fun was involved though
It's much better when it's a gorgeous girl doing it, let me tell you
Speaking of which.... I've been thinking the last couple of days of some women I've known over the years.....
Wondering where they are now...what they've been doing......
It's funny how time flies by and you lose touch
Especially in the online world...people change ID's , change email addresses etc etc
Makes for a difficult time connecting again if you weren't in "real world" contact in the first place....
There are a few folk I'd like to get in touch with....some from even before my time here, back when Yahell was all the rage, before I found this place lol
That's a LONG time ago
Early 2000's in fact 
Man, that makes me feel old lol
Yep, nostalgia is a wonderful (and dangerous) thing
There's even a few folks from more recent years that have dropped off the grid that I'd like to say "Hey, how's it going?" to....
Unfortunately, without coming across as a total stalker type, it's virtually impossible lmao
Oh well... it's not like they don't know how to find me
I'm sitting right here in my usual spot
So if you're reading this...and you used to be a Yahell user back in the "olden" day....say hello
You never know...we might be acquaintances from back then....
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
Open Up And Say......
|
Posted:Jan 21, 2015 11:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2015 6:39 am
16589 Views
|
{Fade Music}
{Lights Up}
{Zoom In Camera}
{Cue Ivor Biggun (Studio Presenter)}
Hello everyone, and welcome to the next installment of "The Potato's Lair", or as some people call it "That Drivel Again??"
In today's episode we will be asking the question, "Masturbation: Hobby or Career?", and attempting to answer the riddle of "How much licking is too much?".
But first, our roving reporter Spudsy1000 has been trying to get a handle on his "handle" - if you know what I mean
Spudsy, I understand you haven't been feeling yourself all week?
Spudsy: No, I haven't. It's a very slippery issue, I must say. Really quite difficult to get a grasp on it.
I understand. Have you tried coming at it from a different angle?
Spudsy: Yes Ivor. I've tried from various angles. It's one of those things where, just when you think you've got a good hold on it, it gets away from you.
So what you're telling me is it's very hard to pin down?
Spudsy: Correct Ivor. You've hit it right on the head. Pinning it down would be the ideal thing to do. However, the potential consequences would be difficult to deal with. The potential for leaks for example, would be catastrophic.
Indeed. Do you feel it might be better to leave it alone for the time being?
Spudsy: That certainly is one possibility. However, an issue like this generally doesn't go away on it's own. There's always someone or something that will set off the whole performance again. Sometimes, deliberately.
Thank you Spudsy. Most insightful. We'll return to you later.
In the meantime, lets quickly visit the sports desk for a report on the Hump-O-Lympics from Feelma Balls. Feelma?
Feelma: Thanks Ivor. Nothing much to report I'm afraid. There's been some ins and outs across the board. Some comings as well. That's about it so far.
Thanks Feelma. Good to know.
And now for our special feature report from I.P. Squint. "Bathroom Accidents and How To Avoid Them".
{Roll Video}
Yeah ok, so how else am I going to amuse myself this fine Wednesday?
Oh yeah...its HNW
Saw the most delightful pic this morning
I'm not telling you whose it was, but it was a beauty
Let me put it this way, it'll keep me going for weeks
And no...it definitely didn't belong to Charmer
I've learnt to check the titles of his Wednesday posts before I visit his blog
Bleaching your eyes after inadvertently clicking through will do that for you
Still, I survived.
You live and learn, you know.
{Disclaimer: Do NOT put bleach in your eyes - no matter what. If you do, I take no responsibility for your stupidity. }
On that note - here's something I saw in the side effects on a bottle of sleeping tablets:
May cause drowsiness.
Really??
lmao
I guess that should tell you everything you need to know about the modern world and the people therein.
And I think I'll leave you to think that one over
Catch you later!
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
300 Bottles of Beer On The Wall, 300 Bottles of Beer....
|
Posted:Jan 20, 2015 11:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2015 5:41 am
16517 Views
|
#300!
Woot woot!
And a bottle of rum!
16 men on a dead man's chest and all that!
I'm feeling a little piratical today
Got a hankering for plunder and having a parrot crap on my shoulder
Well...maybe the former....the latter? Not so much
But you get the idea lol
So....300....
Just how do you make 300 blog posts without repeating yourself??
Actually, you don't
You just hope no one notices
lmao
And what better place to indulge my obsession with Eva Green, simply one of the most stunning women to ever walk the earth
You did see 300: Rise of an Empire, right?
No?
How about Sin City: A Dame to Kill For??
No?
Camelot???
Kingdom of Heaven????
Dark Shadows?????
Do yourself a favour...go see them
Even if it's just to drool over the delightful Eva
Oh, and she was a Bond girl too lol
Actually...that movie I haven't seen...maybe I should
It is Eva Green after all
My god, those eyes....that smile.....that personality.....
Anyway...what was I talking about....?
See what I mean?
One look at her and I forget my own name
BTW Eva, if you're reading this... 
So what have I learned in 300 posts?
Not too much
What have you learned about me in 300 posts?
Probably even less than that
Unless of course, you're of an analytical persuasion.....then you probably know more about me than I know myself
Or THINK you do anyway
Actually, I've always thought that would be kind of cool.... to be analysed....
(NOTE: I did NOT say analized..... don't even think about it )
(NOTE 2: Before the spelling police descend on me, analysed is the preferred spelling outside of North America - not being a North American, I can feel free to spell and say things proper like wot we do lmao )
Not cool in terms of finding out about myself, cool in terms of finding out what You think about ME
Note the difference.....
I already know what and who I am...after all I've spent the best part of 40 years analysing myself
It's always much more interesting being on the outside looking in, as it were
Like the song says - I'm so much cooler online
Not to mention taller and slimmer
I keep being drawn back here for some reason.... even though I've never actively tried to leave, there have been times when I've lost interest in the place for a period of time
That's one reason I've never deactivated or deleted my profile... I know I'll be back
And I have a body of work built up that it would be a shame to lose....
The idea of coming back as a different ID makes no sense to me - I have nothing to be ashamed of or to hide from here - as far as I know anyway
I genuinely like it here....
It's pretty cool to be able to hang out with a bunch of like minded people every day and have a little fun
So thanks everyone for making it an enjoyable 300....
I'm looking forward to the next 300 or so
Should be done by 2025 or thereabouts, at the rate I go at
See ya!
PS If you look like Eva Green or Lily Rabe -
I have some ideas I'd like to discuss with you
|
|
|
9
Comments
|
|
It's A New Dawn, It's A New Day
|
Posted:Jan 19, 2015 10:19 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2015 7:55 am
16067 Views
|
Yeah, I know....I missed all the festivities lol
So before I go any further....
Merry Christmas(or insert holiday of choice) and a Happy and Prosperous New Year to all and sundry!!!!
Ok?
Ok then....
So here we are.....new year, new.....ummm....nothing actually lol
Not even a resolution to be broken
Personally I don't make them....seems like a pointless exercise to me lol
Either you're going to change something or not...the date has nothing to do with it
And let's face it...I'm way to lazy to change
You don't get to be a couch potato by having will power and determination
Oh no.... not even close
It takes a special kind of person to be this lazy
So what have you lot been up to?
Anything exciting?
Other than missing me of course
Go on...admit it
You've been pining away the whole time I was A.W.O.L
Yeah...I wish lol
I really should get back to regular blogging....
My trouble, for the most part, is laziness
It takes a modicum of effort to log in here, never mind actually sit down and write....
And the fact that my life isn't terribly inspiring doesn't help matters lol
Once upon a time, I had a muse who inspired me to something approaching greatness....
Ok, maybe not GREATNESS...mediocrity might be closer to the mark
But inspire me this person did....
And no, long term people...it's not even who you might think it is LMFAO
Nevertheless, this person made me want to come here, want to write, want to be entertaining
That's quite the gift....for which I'll always be grateful
Conversely, my loving audience, if you're looking for someone to shoulder the blame...blame them
As a side note....I'm almost at 300 posts
In fact...next one after this one will be the big one....
Hard to believe I actually kept at it this long, and keep coming back to it lol
Blogging is like sex......the more you do it the more you want to do it
Maybe that's why......
It's a sex substitute!
Anyway, I guess that's enough for now....
I should get to thinking about #300.....(instead of #8 for a change )
See you in the threes!!
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
Zephyr In The Sky At Night, I Wonder....
|
Posted:Nov 26, 2014 10:36 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2014 9:23 am
18884 Views
|
Do My Tears Of Mourning, Sink Beneath The Sun....
Love that song
Oh, and Madonna ain't bad either...wouldn't say no, put it that way
lol
Anyway....
Hello.
I thought it was about time I bit the bullet and wrote another blog
Sheer laziness has overcome me lol
I have a dose of Cantbearseditis
Not that I don't WANT to...lets be clear on that
The flesh is willing, but the mind is weak....
Or should that be the other way around?
Not that it matters...the end result is the same lol
No blog....
Nil blog...
Zero blog...
So in order to satisfy the demands for a new missive (or should that be epistle?), here I am...front and centre...on parade, so to speak
MMmmmmmm....
Pussies On Parade.....
Sounds like army porn to me
Now that I think about it...I do like women in uniform
.....and any other kind of women, let's be fair
I don't discriminate
Well...not really.... I do have one rule....they must be breathing
*sigh*
I know one thing for sure though....
A vay-cay from the va-jay-jay isn't any fun
That sort of thing leads to bad decision making
It's due to the backup of semen to the brain.... it clouds your thinking
Not to mention making the inside of your skull sticky
I'm not even sure if my penis works any more....
Maybe I should test it out...
Give it the once over just to be sure it won't break down when I need it
It always pays to be prepared, especially with the winter upon us
Any licensed penis mechanics out there??
Speaking of licenses.....
I got my license yesterday
Yep, ladies...I'm now a fully qualified Fucksercise Instructor!!
First lesson completely FREE, by the way
No obligation free trial!
Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back
LMAO
Wonder how many takers there will be for that?
I bet I know.....
NONE
Hey, you can't blame a guy for trying
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
Finished With My Woman 'Cause She Couldn't Help Me With My Mind
|
Posted:Nov 10, 2014 10:46 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2014 12:31 pm
17215 Views
|
Hello everyone!
What's new?
Looks like winter is about to descend on us for real
After all, it is only about 6 weeks till Christmas, believe it or not
The elves are busy hammering away, building those toys you asked Santa for
Yes, you know the ones..... long, short, fat or thin..they're flying off the production line at an alarming rate
Hmmmm
I wonder how they maintain quality control at the Sex Toy Factory....?
Do they have a testing booth??
Do they randomly select 1 in every 100 on the line?
What do they do with the ones they check?
Do they put them back on the line for packaging and sending out?
There's a thought for you....
What if the new toy you bought today wasn't just quite as "new" as you thought??
Which leads to my next thought....
What if there's a recall??
Do you get a letter in the mail the same way you do with cars??
Do you have to book an appointment to take it in and have it checked out??
And as for the anatomically correct ones not associated with a porn star - who was that guy, how did he get that job, and how much was he paid??
Wonder if he gets royalties each time a woman cums using his model??
And what if the government started putting spy devices in them....??
Maybe Big Brother really IS watching you ....
All Day Long I Think Of Things, But Nothing Seems To Satisfy,
Think I'll Lose My Mind If I Don't Find Something To Pacify
Yeah....got that song in my head now lol
....and a yearning to wear corduroy flares and platform shoes... lmao
Oh, the things I think about when I have nothing better to do
Somebody save me from myself....please!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
10
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (spudsy1000) use [blog spudsy1000] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
61
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
