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| Blogs > oneladybrijit > For What It's Worth! |
Umm, just thinking, and thinking, and thinking.
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Umm, just thinking, and thinking, and thinking. Don't you sometimes find that you do so much thinking that nothing comes out in the end??? That's happening to me right now. I was just reading the latest response to my blog, have read several other blogs prior to that, and just became lost in all the different "mini thoughts". Don't you like that? I just come up with new original things at different times. Ok, ok, I have to define it if I am going to invent it, only it's really not that hard to work out! That's the thing about me, I see myself as a designer, not an artist, as in I see a need and come up with a solution, nothing more, and it just happens to be artistic in it's final product, as I don't like things that look or are tacky as such. (LOL, in this case sound, not look!) I like things to be suave, sophisticated, attractive to look at, comfortable to use, and serve the purpose they were made for. If they don't, then there might be some who would ask how many millions I have, as my attitude is quite snooty. I love that word too. Pity I don't have the money to back up the attitude! LOL. (It is good though, because if I ever end up producing for an income, you can be guaranteed that only those with nothing better to do will actually find fault with what I produce.) Now, back to that definition. A "mini thought" will be a thought that is very short in duration, and one that passes through, perhaps so quickly that it is forgotten before it actually cements itself. I like that, as it does explain why I called them mini thoughts, and I don't know about you, I do tend to have a lot of them, just small, inconsequential thoughts, and even sometimes consequential, just I think them so fast that they are gone before I have had time to pursue the issues raised in them. The only reason I find them gone in my case, is because another mini thought, or perhaps even a more tangible thought has replaced them, and I am busy paying attention to the new thought, a bit like a parent or teacher with an attention deficit, can only focus on one at a time! Umm, yep, now on that subject, just have a look at my attitude! Note the number of times that smileys or other indicators turn up in my writings that really do suggest mirth, or at least a positive attitude. Even I am impressed, and it takes a lot to impress me! It looks like comments made early on in my blogging life were right! It does seem to be a good way of helping me heal so much more. Something that has always saddened me, is that because I don't use substances, and make sure my drinking is always under control, (as in I work hard to ensure my drinking never goes to the point of slow deterioration of the mental faculties, as many in the past have done) and because I have always had good editorial skills, it's so sad that I have never found work in the print media. With skills like mine in both spelling and grammar, I should have found work years ago, and never have done. I also never had any kind of exposure in the print media as such, other than being editor of a Parents Without Partners newsletter a few years back now. Life's like that. It's not what you know, and I have made sure there isn't that much I don't know, it's who you know, and most of the people in my past who today could help me get somewhere, are in the past, or they are looking at retirement, and I am only looking at starting. Oh, well, now you know why I am working on establishing an income that grows for me. It's just a bit too late to start doing thirty years of work to create an income for my future. My future is already here. I now have to create an income that will be a lot like a growth curve, while extending out a bit, it needs to be extending up a lot. Getting boring here, time to go. I do hope all is good with you my reader, and that every moment of your life is one that you want to live. If you "enjoy" your pain because it tells you that you are alive, and if you "enjoy" the bad times, because without bad you can't have good, maybe that will be possible. I know the theory is great, and I do know that sometimes I have no chance of wanting to live every moment of my life. Having said that, I don't really regret any moment in my past. I think for some of us, it's just really hard to accept our here and now, and I am in that category, always thinking it should be better like this or that, only how can my life be much better than it is? I have made most of it something pretty special just taking the time out to heal for the last few years, as well as all the other things I have done for me. Like most, I always see what could be construed as faulty, and rarely notice the wonderful things, oh, other than the beautiful colours of the world outside. That's another sidetrack, as I love "smelling the roses". CYU, 
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