Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
| Blogs > oneladybrijit > For What It's Worth! |
My survival secrets/ why I am not yet dead
|
My survival secrets/ why I am not yet dead Hello, here I am listing seventeen things, that I have used to help me heal, and that's why I am still alive, as without them, I would never have made it. Yes, I did use all seventeen in my healing journey, and I will share with you on each. Without them, I would not be here today. love your pain, it tells you that you are alive: I have mentioned this in another blog. I was told this after my car crash while I was suffering incredible seat belt pain. I had no idea it was possible to suffer like this, yet I had already had back pain for seventeen years at one time, and sciatic pain en masse after childbirth, so I knew horrific pain in some fashion already. When the seatbelt pain faded, I discovered why it had been said, as I kept wondering if I was really alive, no people around me, an unfamiliar home, not my pets, not my possessions, eerie, and nobody I could really talk to most of the time. enjoy the bad times: This has also been mentioned in another blog, as without the bad times, you can't have good times. The first time we hear it, it's hard to stomach, only once we think about it, it slowly comes together. one door closes, another opens: I love this, and it's really worth taking in, as it helps when all seems lost. Life really does tend to bring a new horizon whenever an old one is gone. One just needs to feel this is so, to allow it to happen naturally. take time to smell the roses: I learned this quite a while ago before my dramas, so I knew to look around me here in my new environment, and see the good things about it, and just feel them and their presence, so I could feel better. In the case of roses, a lovely scent to stimulate the happy senses. tomorrow will be a better day: if today was so terrible, and you know "Storms never last", and tomorrow must be a better day. It only stands to reason. If you go through bad after bad after bad, it stands to reason that the bad must come to an end and good times replace it, so it just makes sense to trust this will happen. do absolutely nothing: I was told "when in doubt, do nothing". If you are not sure, why do something you will regret late? It's better to stop, take some time, it's ok, if you were going to die, you'd be dead already, so take the time, assess the situation as to what you feel is the safest risk and go for it. I didn't actually include this for that reason. I did include "do nothing" for the purpose of just taking a real break from everything, just sitting, lying in bed, on the grass, sand or concrete, whichever, and just stopping, if possible clearing your mind, and doing nothing, until you feel a bit better, or you feel if you stay still a moment longer you will rot, whichever works for you. add a healthy food, bless it before eating it: This is two things again. Add a healthy food, if you are in pain, go to the shop, maybe the health food shop, or look online, and find a food that will relieve your pain, maybe a herb, or chocolate? If you have another issue, find several foods that could be used, and add at least one of them to your diet. Don't be afraid, normal people don't overeat. When you add a new food, you usually eat a bit less of one you don't really need as much as you have been eating, unless you haven't been eating enough. The second point, bless your food before eating it is: Sit down in a comfortable place to eat, look at your food, and meditate on it for a moment or a few just taking in it's appeal to your palate and taste buds. Allow your mouth to water a touch, and either pray blessings into it, or if you are like me, sit there and aloud or silently say something like: I bless this food with my love to nourish and sustain my body. You can use your own words, whatever you feel good about. This comes from a japanese photographer who has photographed water from all kinds of places, and even the murkiest water seemed to take on a beauty in his photos after blessing it. We don't know this is true, we are merely told this is true, however it has felt positive and healing for me. breathe clean air: think about the quality of the air you breathe. Asthma is caused partly by poor quality air, in the sense that there are allergens that irritate the asthmatic in the air. If the allergens are removed in this person's home, it gives them "time out", a chance to recuperate and possibly develop tolerance when they are out in the world. This has worked for my allergies. In my case I run an air filter 24/7 in my home. I also use an air conditioner if I feel I can both afford to, and if it's not too cold to use it. If you put clean air into your body, it also helps your body to deal with the other stresses of life, as it's not trying to deal with polluted air. You can't always control what is out there in the world, however you can control some of your personal environment, so it might be worth the effort. drink clean water, bless your water before you drink it: We have almost covered this already in air and food, as the principles are the same. If you can find a way, filter your water somehow, and you don't have to use a commercial filter if you feel it's expensive. There are other ways, which if you look for, you are likely to find. Again, bless your water before you drink it, to nourish and stimulate your body into good health, and they say you can taste the difference. I think it does taste a touch nicer. do some exercise, anything that you want to: this sounds very broad, and the reason is that after dramas, some of us lose any interest in anything we ever loved to do. I really didn't want to live at all, because I wasn't where I wanted to be, so I had to work on positives, and not wanting to go for a walk in a strange area, not wanting to do this, that or the other, limited what I would actually do, so I had to go for anything I was prepared to do, and that was pretty much nothing. Yes, that's how bad it was, so I just had to find my new way. I tried to do my tai-chi. I had forgotten all of ten years! I had loved that so much, and now it was gone. I didn't want to do it the way this new school did it. I wanted to do it the way I was taught, only what I didn't know was that my memory must have had such a bad jolt that I was remembering it absolutely wrong. It was weird, just as I was at that time. In the end, I would go outside and walk around the yard, or walk to the post office sometimes, not always, to get a touch of exercise. Besides that, I'd look for some kind of work around home that would give me exercise. This gives you an idea of how emotionally damaged I was, if you are normal, as you know this was very, very limited. However I did expend a lot of energy on crying and sobbing, so maybe it wasn't all that bad after all.  Then there was something else at that time, which I will mention shortly. After a few years, I was desperate for a new form of survival, so I went to the doctor's and acquired the medicine to give up smoking. That was an incredible journey, which I did survive because I just kept adding extra water to my diet to make up for the medicine that would otherwise damage my kidneys badly. Then I did some research for a piece of exercise equipment that I liked, in my case the "ab pro", and no, this is not an ad, as for you it might be one of those bench press things, or a bicycle, or absolutely anything else. We are all different. I still love my exercise gizmo, and that was what was important, that I wanted it and to do it, and I have never not wanted to use it. That was my secret, that I actually wanted to use it, and still do. At one stage before I bought that, I was also taking my in the car to one or two places, just every now and then, and walking with her, which was nice just sometimes.if it works for you, sexercise is great for you, with someone you feel good about only: This is pretty much self-explanatory. If you have what some call a "fuck buddy", then yes, it's a great method of relief, however if as in my case, you really don't know what disease this one or that one might have when you randomly meet strangers, and end up going where you were not planning to go with them, then maybe total abstinence could be a really good thing. In my case, I have pretty much always had a lot of respect for my sexual health, so I never deliberately went there. Only when you meet people randomly in a new place, sometimes as a woman you seem to not have control over their behaviour, and you end up in situations you did not plan at all. For me, it was better to go home until I had some kind of control over what was going to or not going to happen. Now I need to mention something here. Two years after the really bad dramas, there is a risk of yep, ok, let's just say at this time, it might be worth having someone you can have a bit of private fun with to relieve your tension and keep you alive, just a thought. I did go there, only I did take a huge risk, at the time figuring that the risk was less than the potential, and I was lucky, in my case it worked, only it would be better not to do that, as one might not be so lucky. protect yourself from the weather, from bad people, from whatever you need to: This is a bit general, as to keep you young, it's clever to protect your skin from the weather, hat, perhaps sunscreen or long sleeved and long legged clothes, whichever works easiest for you. Even a good make-up can protect from the sun, as some women know if they use it. Protecting yourself from bad people, hmm, depends, maybe you want bad people around your for other reasons. No, seriously, if there are people you feel you need to steer clear of, then, shut them out, lock them out, bar them, do whatever you need to do to keep them out of your life within reason, and if there is anything else you need to protect yourself from, do it. Once you start feeling safe, you will heal a lot quicker and better than if you feel unsafe. Nobody can protect you from random crimes in bad neighbourhoods. You can do a lot to make yourself safer, make yourself feel safer, and even reduce your risk of being the next "victim" including not acting like a victim. talk to someone who cares: Make a point of making contact with at least one person, if not several, every day, who actually seem/s to care, and if you don't feel they care, look elsewhere, or if you can't find someone new, put up with a bit rather than have nobody. Over time, try to develop a number of resources so that if this one is not available, there is that one or another, so that over time, you rebuild your personal resource network, and feel that you have people in your life that you value. Work on your ability to communicate with them also, so that over time your communication skills improve and this will help at least a touch in having people around you who are there for you in some way. find someone to for you to help in some way if you can: There is a saying that when you help others, you help yourself, and I know that for me that is true, only perhaps not when you are devastated. At this time, perhaps the only way is solo. Once things don't feel quite that bad, by being there for other people, you see that they have their issues, and maybe yours aren't so bad. That is the big thing, as it puts your issues into a kind of perspective where you can decide that your issues aren't that bad for whatever reason, even if it's just that they are over, and others are still suffering. It's not meant in a callous way, as in survival mode, sometimes extremes are needed. do only what you want, at any time: This sounds silly, only when you are so damaged that you feel like you can't move, and all you seem to ever do is sob, then sob some more, it starts to sound really sensible to do nothing except what you really want to do at any time. For a while housework will suffer, and other things too, only over time you will find that you perhaps don't like the mess around you, so you will work on cleaning it up, and that is how you need to be to survive, until you do survive and heal. Easy. do something for you, and when that's done, do something else for you: This is in a similar vein to doing only what you want, only now, you try to do at least one thing every day for yourself. At the beginning of your healing journey, it might be no more than make sure you have regular meals, and/or feed your pets every day, until you are able to deal with more. It's ok if that's all you can manage, as if you allow yourself to live in this damaged space until you are ready to move forward, you will allow yourself to get to the point where you can move forwards, so that is what I had to do. As time progresses, you get to a point where it might be sew a button on that shirt, or start keeping a plant to help filter your air some more. As it needs watering every day, this is a touch of a challenge, a bit like having a pet. Each challenge is another success when you meet it, so it's all good. Over time the challenges will become greater. It took me a year to trim my trees, and then it took one day to do them again. Umm, they have grown a lot since then so it might take more than a day again. Just work with you at your pace. make every moment count: This sounds really hard, only it's not meant that way. Count every moment as it passes on your healing journey, and you will be amazed at how time does pass. I didn't do this early on, and it all seemed to take forever, only now, looking back, I don't really remember it like it was any more, as in I don't suffer it like I did. Back then it was all so painful, and it felt as if I would never heal. I mean, how do you move beyond crying painful sobs, and I mean really painful, causing chest pain, and interfering with your breathing, up to five times a day, between five minutes and three hours each time??? Do the sums, some days this means fifteen hours of crying. Then every time someone says something nice, the tears just return, and you are not in control. So now I say, make every moment count? How? Remember earlier it was enjoy the bad times? Enjoy the crying. Look at it as soul cleansing. Find a positive in every bad moment, that makes the moment worth living. So yes, when someone said, it looks like you are enjoying your dramas, and bad times, they were right, because that's exactly what I was trying to do, and if they thought it looked like I was doing that, then I was succeeding. I did keep thinking this is only bad now, and even though I cannot see a tomorrow, it will come. I just have to be patient, to wait until it does happen. It will happen. Now here is a little recipe for working out, ok, how long does this have to last for? Not much fun this, but better than nothing. I looked around me, at what I knew about life. I asked myself how long will it take to get over the car crash? Well others can take years, and some never get over it. So that was my measure. Ok. Then there were the other dramas, so I looked at each and how long it could take to get over them. I didn't like the negative potential, as it was pretty much stay damaged for the rest of my life. I didn't want that, and so I had to find a time that would work for me. I decided that this one would take about seven years, yep, that one too, and probably each one would take around seven years if it were the only thing that had gone wrong. Only I had eight major issues, three of them pretty major. You could say I added a year for each pretty major dramas and came to the ten year thing, only that's not quite right. I just sort of shuffled it all in my head, and came up with the ten years thing for me. I asked myself if I was sure it would be long enough and my thoughts were that I am going to lose ten years of my life healing, and I don't want it to take that long, as I will be old by then. Hmmm. Then I asked myself, could I do it any faster? The answer I found was "get real, how?" Nope, I'd need the whole ten years, and if I was lucky, I'd be over it all by then, so I did set out on my healing journey. I did make every moment count, crying if you like with 'gusto', only it wasn't that, it was that if I allowed myself to just cry, there had to come a time when I'd be over it, and that's what I was aiming for, so while others would think that I was just yeah right, no, I was working towards a goal. Today on the way to nine years after it all, I am sort of happy with my progress. I just wish I were further down my healing road. I want to be further down, only I can see that I am not. You are not talking about just anyone here. I was a Psychology student. I was someone who knew a bit about these kinds of things, maybe not an expert, just someone who was learning about things related to exactly what I suffered. I am a lot younger than I expected, and then I just look at my diet and I know why. I have eaten some of the healthiest foods, including some herbs, and a lot of grains recently, and then there are all the usual things, including prunes, the home made yoghurt and fruit. So there you have my recipe for survival. It wasn't easy at all, and lots of perseverance along my journey. I had a reason to survive. I want to be there for my grandchildren. I have already missed out on being there for the first of my grandchildren, and in my case that is five of them. I want to be there and whole for the rest of them, so that I can be their special grandparent, and give them at least some of what I am. Wow this took a long time, and a lot. I really need to go. I won't be back for a few days, as I have things to do. I sort of wonder if I had to write this for other reasons. I am not going there. I do hope to be back here soon. Until then, I do wish those that care all the best.  |
Become a member to create a blog
