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Under duress . .  

oneladybrijit 66F
298 posts
3/27/2012 9:37 am
Under duress . .


Wow! Strong words, only in today's world, they are true for many and often.

I am going to offend some with what I share here, as it will be what they would prefer you not to know.

I don't know if I shared all with you in my blogs. You may know that at one stage I lost my home. You may know that my car was written off with me in the back seat. You may know that I have suffered many and various losses at different times. Now I want to share with you, about what does go on right now, and everywhere in our world.

Here on this fun site, there are some sinister shady characters. They will befriend you, and what they do to you, only depends on the limits of both their desire and imagination, and it also depends on your self protective set up.

You are an adult, or you would not be here. Therefore they see you as fair game.

You also, can lose your home to a shady person who you met online. My situation was different, and I won't go into it. The fact is that I lost my home because I trusted a man, that easy, one bad man.

You probably already know that a bit of simple self protective behaviour will at least set alarm bells ringing if you go to meet someone and don't return home within a reasonable time period, although if you set things up right, you can have them so that it's going to take a bit for an assailant to get past your barriers. If you do let someone tie you up the first time you meet them, well, what can they do to you? The mind boggles, so I am not going there.

There are lots of things you can do to protect yourself, and your imagination and income are your only limits. You can always set up a note, somewhere, with a friend, or in several places, as to where you headed to. That's the best start. Then you can have one or several tracking devices, including a simple mobile phone that has GPS or what we call 3G over here. You might want to put something somewhere on your vehicle, just in case your mobile phone goes missing, as they do sometimes.

I am serious. You have no idea how cold-blooded some are. Chances are that most of us won't meet them, as we won't attract them, because they look for victims when they seek out who they will meet. You sort of need to be a victim for them to seek you out. Having said that, if you are off colour, or whatever, you may head there, and that is why it's so important to set up as much self protection as you can.

Only there is so much more. We just touched the tip of the iceberg. The predators on an adult site are just one small part of the jungle out there, only they do tend to start here, and work into the rest of your life. Recently I had one, claiming to be part of a couple, and he was demanding my email address. I wasn't happy at all with the demand. The outcomes were not good. The problem is that a few of us have a name attached to our email address, and despite us making sure our email does not identify us in any way, the provider decides to reveal our name on our email, so all the work we did to remain private is lost. Then a scammer comes along, gets our email, and starts their process. They don't need to meet us. All they need is our name, and they can achieve all sorts of negative things. It's a really bad idea to give out your email address until you feel ok about someone. I prefer to add them on an instant messenger, and after this charade, maybe I will put that on hold too. It will depend on the situation.

Then there is the other one. I have one contact, who I do like, regularly when I make contact with this person, I do get blue screens, or in the past, my computer would just die. Not a lot of fun, when you are battling to keep a lawn mower going, to keep a car on the road, and barely survive, let alone pay for fuel. I don't pay for fuel as a rule. I let someone else pay for it, as by the time I have paid for maintenance on the vehicle, there's no money left for anything. Then there are other things that need a repairman. Not everything is something we can repair ourselves. It's amazing, how the more you know about maintenance and repairs, the less you seem to be able to do for yourself, yet you never seem to stop fixing things around the place! Ok, that's a sidetrack. My point here is that some contacts just seem to be the source of some kind of malware or something that just keeps attacking our computers.

So that's the tip of the iceberg, as there are so many others, and due to my caring ways, I met a few over the years, and suffered the consequences.

I do try to present as nice and friendly these days, only I have had to really tighten up. If you look at my blogs, you will notice that I work really hard at being open and sharing, just I know that I have to work hard at keeping all sorts of rules, firstly for my safety, and then to keep the peace in my world.

I can't reveal the identity of this or that person, as when I do, it links back to my identity, so it's really clever to keep theirs anonymous as possible. If I do refer to locations, it's important to make sure than no times or people are referred to as such, and if they are, that they are really not identified.

We all make mistakes, and slip up. When I do, it's important that I do not panic, and calmly look at the situation, and work out the best and safest damage control. It might be as easy as taking a post down again, because you slipped up and revealed a name, as I did earlier. I named a of mine, only it was my dog, and being a name, it is one that many dogs are called, so it doesn't matter in the big picture. Still, I should not have named the dog. I only noticed that I had done that later, after I put the blog up and read it back. If the name were not just a common name, I would have taken the post back down straight away, and edited the name, only I looked at it and thought, yep, another stupid mistake, and I won't worry about it.

Now where was I? Ok, then there are situations when it's quite safe to use a first name. A classic example is one of my blogs in which I name Jim. He is so far in my distant past, and as it is, I have known several "Jim"s, so the question arises, which one does she mean? Do I mean one you know, or someone I barely remember, except with the feelings associated with him, as it's so long ago?

At one stage I knew six Ians, so if I named one of them, I knew that no matter how smart people might behave, nobody was going to know which one I meant, and I knew that there would be quite a few who would assume the wrong one.

See there was this man named Ian, who worked for a car company, and he was single, and eligible, so it could be assumed, only it wasn't him, and the Ian I might have referred to, hmm, now that's another hot and steamy memory, and I will leave it at that. Then there's another Ian from the very distant past, that made me giggle the whole time on a wedding anniversary, as he kept providing another drink for me. That day was a lot of fun. Goodness, and then there's another Ian, who had these incredible eyes! OH, yummy! Those eyes were dangerous, and both of us were good vegemites, me being married at that time, and he being nice and young and well behaved! I am serious, he was a lovely young man, totally decent, just chuckling, as he was the sort that a few women would no doubt fight over in the very near future at that time, as he had the looks. It was only a matter of time. Oh, the memory! Wow! He definitely had the looks!

Sorry about the sidetrack! The woman who won him, would have had to have a lot of self confidence. Only he was really decent, and I suspect that he would have been totally faithful once he became attached. He was just one of those, nice.

It's ok, I covered the subject, self protection. I did point out that there are some really devious scammers. I did point out that they only need your email address if they are real scammers. Then there are others who are going to do a lot more damage, and they will pursue you accordingly.

It's at the stage where you are just better off not getting attached to anyone anymore, and even though that sounds terrible, it's a fact. It's really dangerous to get close to anyone you don't thoroughly know in our world today. It's dangerous just meeting someone new. I do know as I have taken a lot of risks in my time. I thought I was smart. I thought the risks were calculated and in many cases it was all good and ok. Only in some cases, things proved to turn out terrible, and I did pay dearly. I am not just talking about here on an adult site.

Normally I find this site is fantastic, and as safe as they come, because all I have to do is filter, read what is written by the "man" that I am looking at, note what has been said, and just watch. Then I can make sure I only maintain further contact, if I do feel ok. Sometimes you read a profile, and you feel yep, he is as safe as, for whatever reason, and you are right. Just sometimes you read a profile and it's like being driven through a huge blanket of fog, and you feel like you really know nothing at all about the man. That's when I find myself asking lots of questions. Then there are times, when all your questions have been answered in a few clear words, and again, you know it's safe. It all depends on the situation, and also on what you are looking for.

It also depends on what you have available to lose. The less you have to lose, the safer you might be, only then there is still your body that can be damaged.

I have said enough, in that I have warned you that nothing might be as it seems, and you really need to look at every move you make to ensure your safety. Yes, that goes for men also, any single. Remember, couples do have another to help in their self protection. A single only has their personal resources, unless they take a friend. Now that would be interesting!



SirTeezalot 74M
21966 posts
3/28/2012 7:51 pm

You are so right bonny lass. You can have the best and most up to date Anti-virus protection and Spam filters but where would you be without an old fashioned cyberknight who devotes his life to rescuing damsels in distress.

Seriously though, I cant believe how daring the younger generation are today where their entire lives revolve arounf the internet with the likes of face book and stuff like that. Or are we just showing our age here?

Sir Teezalot

WAR IS ABSURD


oneladybrijit 66F
420 posts
3/28/2012 8:48 pm

We might be showing our age. I don't know.


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