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| Blogs > oneladybrijit > For What It's Worth! |
My take on bi-polar/ what some call manic depression.
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My take on bi-polar/ what some call manic depression. A few years ago, I met someone who was bi-polar. Like most, he denied it, although he had been diagnosed. He attempted suicide at least once, on which occasion he ended up in the psych ward, and being assessed. He refused to take medication, so I watched his behaviour over a period of time, trying to work out how to help him survive those times when he was on a low. One day, he rang me, and by the end I had said (in total frustration) "we need to work out what sets your downers off". He told me he'd have to have a think about that, and I thought, oh dear, I have blown it. Prior to that, I had said words to this effect: You know, when you're on a high, you believe that you can do anything, and if you go for a job, you usually get it, because you believe in yourself, and sell yourself really well. Only when you're like that, you believe that you are "God", (as in superior to everyone, including the boss) and won't listen to anyone or do anything that is suggested to you. That's why when you're like that, I don't usually stay on the phone, and hang up really quickly. Then you head for a downer, and while you were on a high, it was easy to get the job. Once you head into a downer, it's much easier to talk to you because you go into almost a female mode, of "I don't know what to do", and you happily listen to any suggestions and even try them. Only on a downer, you can be so low that you feel worthless, and there is a risk that you will take your life. That worries me, which is why I have been trying to work out what triggers your downers. Then when you go back on a high again, you are so superior that you end up losing your job. Sometimes on a downer you lose your job too, because you feel so incapable. He heard all of this, and when I mentioned the losing your job, he cried. I was a touch blown away, as I was not ready for this reaction. In between the tears, he said "you don't know what it's like to lose over twenty five jobs!" I was astonished. I knew he had lost a few jobs, had never really thought about how many he might have lost. As I said, he finished the phone call by telling me he'd have to think about it, and I did let him go with concern, wondering if I had not totally ruined everything. About a week later we were back on the phone. I asked how he was, and he said: good thank you. Then he continued to share how he had thought about what we had said. He said that when he sees that he is starting to go down, he goes to bed and has a sleep for a while. I was astounded, so I asked him, "and how do you feel when you wake up?" He said that he felt better. I asked "do you feel this really works?" He said yes, he feels so much better. I was astounded, and I thought about how he had mentioned working incredibly long days, with only about five hours sleep per night, and how that always set his downers off. He shared how he worked late evenings sometimes, and that was fine, only by the time it was over, when it was so late, it would set him off. At this stage, I was hearing, and not really registering, as it just seemed so incredible. Today that man has a regular job, has kept it for a long time, perhaps a few years, and any time he has felt he wasn't handling things, he remembered that he didn't do well if he had a lack of sleep, so when situations arose, he'd make sure that he shut any negatives out, and headed for sleep until he was better. He has been in touch with me a few times, and I think he has really gained control. Please do not misunderstand me, everyone is a little different. This solution seems to be working for quite a few people, just there are still some who it will not work for, because their condition is not due to sleep deprivation. It is however a positive, as preventing a suicide in anyone is positive for them and those who care about them. If this helps your friend, that will be delightful. If it doesn't, then that will be sad, as these people need understanding. Just there is so much more to bi-polar than this, as there seem to be a number of facets to the disorder, that have nothing to do with the part of things that I have mentioned. I am aware that there are bi-polar sufferers, who have really grand delusions, and will go out just to "fuck". I am not judging them, only expressing what I know. I have been told by the wife of one, that they will go out and if they can, they will happily "fuck" over thirty different people, male/female, no matter, in one night of debauchery, and then go home to their wife as if nothing had happened. She shared that she found out by accident, and this does raise issues, that those of us who are more cautious are aware. Another sufferer of bi-polar, shared with me, about his nights out, and he basically said similar, only he said that he would drink to extreme excess, and if he could get his hands on substances, he'd take anything he could get his hands on. I was mortified by what he revealed, and then he shared that he'd try to take any girl home that he could, get up to as much as possible with as many females as possible. He also shared that a lot of his achievements with women were in his mind only. By this time, I wasn't dealing with what he had shared too well at all. Only it was an honour that he trusted me enough to share all of this with me. He was quite sincere when he shared all of this, as at this time he was under control on medication, and I had known him in those times before he had taken medication. It was so sad, as for the sake of giving him a somewhat "normal" life, all his creativity and artistic nature was destroyed, or if you like shut down. He may have been a fruit-loop while he was sick, only his artistic output was incredible, and then when he went on medication, yes, he was no longer a danger to himself and others, just he also lost his artistic streak to the point that his artworks now were incredibly muted and colourless, and plain, so to speak. In any situation, there are answers that work for some, and don't work for others, only with these disorders, scientists are still developing their understanding of them, as they have various facets and shades, and everyone being different, one person will behave or react in a completely different way to another suffering what the professionals see as the same disorder. That makes it hard for the layman, and even for those trying to study or learn about these things. I wrote most of this in a comment on another blog, and felt that there are those who would benefit from reading it, so I decided to copy my comment to my blog, and therefore share it with others who might benefit from it. |
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my contact with bi-polar was not very nice...but education and understanding has taught me how to forgive some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection
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