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| Blogs > oneladybrijit > For What It's Worth! |
Last nail in the
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Last nail in the I tried to write a post for someone yesterday, spent a bunch of hours writing it, and then deleted, as I didn't feel the result was the right post. I am sorry that I did not keep my word this time. Maybe other issues were clouding my mind. Today, I put possibly the last nail in the "precious friendship is over" coffin. I didn't enjoy it, just I don't see how I can fix things with someone who hasn't even considered saying sorry for how he spoke before Christmas. It is now six months ago. I did add a small sms afterwards, namely that the flowers he saw on my dining table were made by and still are from my 's potential mother-in-law. They are still pretty in their way too, so she did a good job. I do hope she is earning good money from the business. Why did I send that sms? Because it's true, and I saw what he thought when he saw them. He didn't say a word, when he could have asked. It definitely appeared that he assumed that they were from some man. That's not a good basis for even a friendship, even worse for a relationship, very rocky ground when someone doesn't bother to check. Then there is this other thing. If someone sends a lady flowers, even if they are from a man she doesn't like, or a man who is no more than a friend, or anything like that, is there any reason on earth that she should discard the flowers???? I don't think so. If she is okay with the flowers, I think she should enjoy them. If however, she feels really uncomfortable with the flowers and doesn't want to keep them, then it's probably more clever to give them to someone else than toss them. Again, that's only my view. I think the lady should feel free to keep, give away or discard the unsolicited flowers, whoever they were from. I don't think a man should judge a lady in a negative way for having flowers of any kind. She might just have grown them! I do grow some gorgeous long stemmed pink roses sometimes, and may grow others in future, just not right now. Imagine if I put a really beautiful arrangement of flowers that I had made on my table, and someone like him walked in! He'd think that some man I was seeing had given them to me. Oh, gee, I am getting more upset! I am going to have to let go, and unwind. As far as that once precious friendship goes, I was a fool for not seeing through him. It's still very over, and amazingly still very painful, or tender if you like. I am not used to getting told such awful things, and I don't think I will ever get used to being told things like that. As I don't say things like that, it's just really strange. Sorry, tonight, the old pain is partly freshly opened, not completely. I always cared. I always cared for him for his sake, and now I can't begin to do that anymore, so even if he thinks I am there for him, I am not, and if I am clever, never will be again, as he takes me for granted completely. Anyway, he now has his health back, and doesn't need some lovely caring lady, and can go out and find some devil woman to play with. ... and I am not going to bother to let him know what he is missing out on!  He does not seem to understand that I am just that kind of person. He does not seem to understand that the way I cared about him came from the right place. It's because I am feeling very hurt, that I am saying things that are not very nice myself. He is not a bad man, just he is not good for me, and that is a very good reason to walk away, permanently. I did explain that if there is something he needs, he can ask, just the friendship is in the past. I will always be prepared to be there for that gorgeous dog, as she did her very best to make things better for him, and he did not see that. None of it is my problem anymore, as I have walked away. There are things I should have said and didn't, like if you play mind games, you will play me out of your life, so you really need to change your strategy around me. There may be other things I should have said, only right now I am feeling really female, and maybe it's old lady hormones. I have no idea. I am just feeling distressed, and no, I am not going to share any information as to where this is all coming from. Anyone who knows me, knows that things don't tend to come out of nowhere with me. They know there is usually a reason for everything I do, just I don't want to say anything at all. Darn! Sorry for my little rant. I don't know if this will clear anything up for me or not. It's all just a bit frustrating. I feel like I have had a few frustrating times lately. I have also had some lovely times with people who understand friends only. It has been nice. ... and wicked me! I had a friendly cuddle from three different men in the last few weeks! Ooops! Nice! Only none of it was any more than friendly!
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sometimes you have to clear the air and say what's on your mind...if you don't then it will only hurt you in the long run...trust me...we had a lot of talks and look how long it took me to open up and then stand up to what was bothering me...(((hugs))) some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection
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