Dealing with it . . .
|
Posted:Mar 9, 2012 4:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:2 am
1964 Views
|
Sometimes, it can be so hard to deal with things. It is you that counts. Don't let others make you feel somehow inferior or bad. When you are hurting, worrying, that is valid in itself.
What is important, is how you deal with your dramas and your pain. What is important is that you acknowledge your feelings, work with them and through them.
I was taught a technique of "self-counselling". You ask yourself a question out loud, the sort of question that a counsellor would ask, like "what's bothering you?". Then you answer it out loud, as if you were having a two way conversation. They say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. Personally, I think talking to yourself is a wonderful sign of sanity, as you do get it out, express what is bothering you in words, that you do hear, and it allows you to recognise and acknowledge your feelings, partly because you actually said what they are, and partly because you heard them expressed out loud. It does work two ways. (Just make sure first that nobody can eavesdrop on you. Radio? Music? Other machine?)
So now you have answered the first question. Then you do go on to ask yourself more questions, in relation to: How do you feel about this? What actually happened? If it happened again, is there something you could do differently? Do you really regret what you did? or were you doing the only thing you could with your knowledge and experience? Is there any point in regretting anything about it? Is there any damage control that you can do?
Ok, so what were you thinking when you . . . . ??? Ooops! Is there any damage control you can do now? Would it be better if you did absolutely nothing now? What is best for you? For those involved?
How do you feel now that you have reassessed the situation? How can you help yourself to deal with those feelings you are having right now? And why shouldn't you cry? Tears cleanse the soul, or so I have been told. I do feel that my tears wash away the pain, and do cleanse my soul, sometimes only a bit at a time, and other times in one great flood of relief, and once that relief is achieved, it's wonderful.
Is there anything else you need to look at? If so, what? How can you work through, or resolve this? Is there anything else you need to do to help you finish dealing with this issue?
Then again, you could find some spunk on this site to relieve your tensions in a very tension filled experience! Up to you. Just make sure it is a two way street before you start. 
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Daily Blog
|
Posted:Mar 9, 2012 12:01 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:2 am
1927 Views
|
It has been a long day, and my computer is sorted at last. I was so upset, when I discovered it wasn't right, and I had to be very patient while it was fixed. It seems that it is right now, so here I am, just letting go, by sharing again.
The creek has been going down, although I suspect I already said that the other day. I can tell it's going down, as it's actually dropping out of sight in the distance. It is taking a long time to go down, as every time it has gone down in recent times, it rained again, and then it filled up a bit again, so it has been a lot of up and down. OOPS!
That brought my smile back anyway. Ok, so the day is over, and I am really looking forward to getting a few more things done around here. Maybe before long I will be able to feel a bit better about that. Right now, I need a lot of patience in the achievement department.
I didn't share what I was planning, as the phone rang in between, so I will be back at a later time, when my thinking is more together again.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
So what's wrong now????
|
Posted:Mar 6, 2012 4:27 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2012 12:20 pm
2483 Views
|
Not sure where I am right now. After that wonderful peak of finding the answers to life long questions about heart attack, cancer, diabetes etc, where does one go next? Then when one is evacuated, and one's total sense of . . . . ????? . . . so hard to explain, is just eroded, sort of destroyed! . . and now one has to pick up the pieces, but there's really nothing to pick up! It's all emotional, and then there's the daily grind that just feels so much grind, and there just seems nothing left . . .
and then there is this thing that has been bugging me, and I have said nothing, because I was always the one who had it totally under control, and now it's not under control, and it really hurts, talking about my pain. . . I used to have all my pain under control, and really didn't feel it, as I really had it under control. Sometimes, well, maybe often, only it was ok, at the end of the day I'd feel my pain, and that was ok, because I had it under control all day, only now I wake up with it. I feel it during the day. I feel it in the evening, and through the night sometimes, depending. Night is the only time I get a break from it now, or if I am busy enough to forget it.
.. . . .and even though I know my pain is real, I wonder if it's just not because I don't do much, and if I were doing more, I wouldn't feel it, and I feel sorry for myself . . .
Ok, so I am in a place right now that is not a good place emotionally . . . I am teary eyed right now . . . as I feel sorry for myself .. . . . I spent all those years working for the day that this issue would not be an issue. . . . and now it is an issue . . .even though I worked so hard to prevent it
There's probably not much more to say on this, as it is how it is....
I first went online in 1996, when I was separated from my second husband. I joined one dating site, and then another and then another, and became a member of several. I worked hard at putting up a genuine profile on each site, and checked and/or updated each often. I worked hard at being a mother, a homemaker, at the time a university student, and maintained both the car and the yard as well as anything that needed doing around my home. I had a number of relationships, each lasting about six months, and then it no longer seemed right, and I'd gently allow him to break it off with me, so he would not suffer pain from us breaking up, as I did know how painful heartbreak could be, and didn't want to inflict that on another. I am sure the men didn't really suffer at all, as each happily moved on, blissfully unaware that I had let them go. I did it so nicely, that I was able to keep in touch with several, and for a long time, that's how it stayed. Throughout this, I was in Parents without Partners, and doing what I could to keep that going as well.
I never ever stopped, always doing, always working towards that future, only instead of it, someone stepped into my life, and did things that destroyed everything I had ever worked for, and then I did what you do when you break, so to speak, and fell into the car crash and other dramas. I say it should never have happened, only we do grow from our experiences. Just sometimes we don't understand why or how, or anything else. Sometimes we just know we have to keep going, and we can only hope that tomorrow will be a better day. ... and we work to make it that way.. . . . and when it doesn't happen, no matter how hard we tried, we wonder . . . why??? . . . and we no longer have answers . . .yes, answers to everyday issues . . . just no answers to our life . . . . why, what for? . . . .no more answers . . . and it's so difficult!
BTW. . . I should be happy right now . . .I am home . . the major threat is over . . . and it's raining . . .only there haven't been any new warnings . . . . and I didn't lose a thing! . . . . so why should I even be the slightest upset! . . . yet I am . . . .my animals are safe, my are fine without me . . . and everything is ok . . . so what is my problem????!!!!!?????
Uh, don't answer that, as it will hurt.
and there's a red car partially blocking my driveway right now. Maybe I should take a picture of it and upload it here. It made me smile and laugh. That's better. Now I can rant and rave about the idiot, one of many that has not worked out that somebody lives here, and this is somebody's home, and yes, he is attending a business, only it is not in my driveway, and he is one of around fifty that tend to use my driveway every single business day, and over fifty two weeks and years, that adds up to a lot of vehicles using my driveway, and it just makes me angry, but that's good, as now I have an emotion that burns up the negative energy. . . . and I can be inspired to do something other than feel sad . . chuckling, I can feel angry instead! Good, the idiot has gone.
I wonder if I can go and get a few useful things done now. I do feel a bit better after sharing here. . . . and I do think that I said exactly what I am feeling without actually saying anything related to it. . . .
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
While I was away.
|
Posted:Mar 5, 2012 8:53 pm
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2012 10:03 pm
2182 Views
|
While I was away:
I had a few cuppas,
Watched a bit of TV, listened to a bit of radio,
Went for a long walk all over town with a tourist I had only just met
At the end of the walk, I talked to a stranger who works for a TV station for a few hours,
to help pass the time for both the stranger and me
Spent a few hours at McDonalds and ended up buying a touch of breakfast there,
and then was bought a mid morning snack
(I thought that was really nice)
I tidied up the area I was using, made it as neat as I could
I cleaned up after myself a lot, to make sure things were nice
I made sure my animals were properly fed and catered for,
I made sure my animals seemed to feel happy and secure as possible
I missed the sunshine
I went and bought a few odds and ends for my meals
I prepared myself a few meals
One day I came home and had a lovely shower at home,
Because I felt more comfy showering at home
It was the day they said it's safe today, but go back tonight
I checked each day after about Wednesday to see when if the evacuation was withdrawn yet
I missed being home
and in the end I missed being away, where it wasn't my problem,
and all I had to do was look after me and any space I had messed up
and make sure my animals were ok, and that I was ok
and when I came home I was very teary eyed,
and haven't been a whole lot better since,
only I am really happy to be home
and I am going to keep this place a lot nicer than previously
and I miss being alive like the rest of the world
I want to come back to life
to heal completely
and I am terrified to live again
I am terrified to get out there into the real world again,
As there are such terrible things happening out there
I am scared
and I am going to make this place really nice for me to live in
And I am going to have a cuppa . . .
. . . and the sun is shining out there right now, and I am busy
. . . . . . .
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
The last week.
|
Posted:Mar 5, 2012 8:41 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:2 am
2049 Views
|
Wow! I have been absent from here about a week!
Life is like that. Just when you least expect it, something totally different happens. I can't say I liked it. However I don't regret it.
Someone rang me from Sydney two days before we were actually evacuated, and said "pack a bag, now". This person knew that I can get sidetracked, etc, so he said he'd ring back in half an hour and make sure I had. He sounded serious, and I thought it was all a bit silly, only the creek came up, the gates were closed, and it did look bad. They did say that the creek might break the levees this time, and it all sounded really scary, so I asked someone if I could just come up there if it looked bad. This person said yes, of course, if you need to get out because it might flood, of course you can stay here. I said thank you.
After a while, of fiddling and doing everything wrong, I headed up there, and spent a very quiet week, until it all settled down. I did make sure the animals were safe too.
I can't explain it. The man was lovely. He opened his home to me and mine. I cannot fault him in any way. All I wanted to do was go home the whole time, and then when I was finally told I could go home, I didn't want to, as I had just settled in. So I did it all again in reverse. Each day I had snuck down here if the creek was down a bit, and fetched this or that to make myself more comfy, only nothing could make me comfy, until the very last day I was there. That day, I had a chair, table and some books to keep me busy, and suddenly it felt like it really was Sunday, like I haven't felt it's Sunday for many years. That's why I did not want to leave, because for the first time in many years, it really felt like Sunday. I don't remember the last time it ever felt like that.
So I came home and it took several hours just to get here, umm, no, not the journey, just getting organised, back here, and then making sure the animals were secure again, etc. I had dinner late that night, as there was so much to do. Then Monday morning, I made the mistake of contacting you know, that phone company, and was on the phone for six and a half hours, at which point they decided to put my problem to a higher person. I haven't heard back from them yet. I am wondering if I will. It's all so strange. Someone wrote something, that I had nothing to do with. How? My computer crashed in strange ways. Again, how? and WHY? It's all really strange. But then they outsource overseas, and while I was away, I made the mistake of trying to get some internet where I was. Big mistake. I think that is why there were the problems when I arrived home. I won't say anymore here at the moment. I do have my suspicions as to what happened.
I don't want to finish unpacking, as I am insecure as to if I will suddenly be evacuated again. I have never felt so insecure for many years, and now I do. I am happy to be home, and unhappy, as I really don't know when it could happen again.
As I said, the man who provided my accomodation was lovely, the perfect host. I cannot complain at all, just my feelings were not the best at all. I felt like I just needed space, much of the time I was there. It wasn't a great feeling.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
While you were away . . .
|
Posted:Feb 27, 2012 7:13 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:2 am
2056 Views
|
While you were away. . .
I did feed the fish out at the pond, and watched them as they ate. I did clean the filter first.
I played piano for the first time in ages, for about two hours
I went out and discovered the creek is about to break its' banks again. I came here and wrote a few blogs.
I played a few computer games.
I wanted to do a bit of drawing, and ran out of time.
I did a few dishes.
had a few cuppas.
listened to music.
On other days, I have:
done some light housework.
gone out and done some mowing.
trimmed the trees.
fed the animals.
done some work on the fences.
replaced some washing line.
had a few cuppas.
listened to the radio for a while.
baked some bread.
went and checked the mail.
cooked a really delicious meal all for me.
Sometimes, I don't feel like I get much done at all, and then I feel sad.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
My monsters
|
Posted:Feb 27, 2012 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:2 am
2106 Views
|
I used to get told, "put brain in gear before engaging mouth". Wow, that's a long time ago.
My monsters might be different to yours, just they could feel similar in ways that I am unaware of.
I have always had to be so careful, because I always had this mastery of the English language, that really defied explanation. It might be because I did read so much as a young . If it had a bound cover, or a cardboard cover, and type in between, there was every chance that I would want to discover all of its' secrets. I could not resist. To me, books were the safe haven of life. They never ever hit me, or hurt me in any way. Instead they took me on boundless adventures, some teaching me things I did not know. Others touched my emotions, making me think about what it would be like if . .. and so on. They were just wonderful.
In my younger years, if someone upset me, I would develop verbal diarrhoea, and it was usually so bad, that I'd make an enemy for life. Nobody really likes being friendless, so I had to do something to change that, and did I ever do something to change that! I did this course, then that course, and still another. At this stage, I had an incredibly supportive husband, who didn't want . He just wanted me all to himself, only I had already had two , and had given them up so that we could all be alive, and there was a huge hole in my chest, an emotional hole, and even though two new would never fill that hole, I really wanted to at least have the new , rather than none.
After a bunch of courses, and doing my Fashion Certificate, we agreed it was time, and I had the two . (He did point out at one stage, that he had only ever agreed to one of them. Maybe now that she is grown, he doesn't feel that way.)
Ok, so I have totally digressed as usual, this was about my monsters. MM. I have already said that I attended a lot of courses to gain control over my "verbal diarrhoea" and even if I tend to be long winded sometimes, I do think I have control (as in over offensive ways of saying things) almost all the time. Only this is still not dealing with my latest monsters.
Over the last few months a lot has happened. My father started it all off when he nearly died, and he is still not well, still healing. The very next day, my uncle who had battled illness a few times, did die. As my situation is so tight, I had absolutely no funds to go see Dad. I had no funds to go to my uncle's funeral, and I felt devastated, as my uncle was really precious, and I have always loved him and all of his family.
When I finally managed to make contact with Dad, he seemed ok, and it allayed my concerns, only he isn't as ok as I thought. He is still sick, and I have not seen him. I didn't get to see my over Christmas for their own reasons, and even though that really hurt, I am not my mother. Over the years my mother made it very clear that she was my mother, and she deserved to have all her around her at Christmas, Mother's Day and her birthday, so I have basically been there on every one of those occasions.
When I just had no money, I may have missed only one or two of those occasions over all the years, so if you add back the times I saw her in between, then I have probably seen her on average about six times a year every single year of my adult life. This is when she is in another city! I am lucky if I see my two youngest once a year, and then it's on separate occasions, as they have never resolved their sibling rivalry, and it seems that all of this is somehow my fault.
I did get to see the one lot of my siblings with their partners and offspring, and of course Mum and my Daddy over Christmas, as they are not that far away.
In the meantime, two men in my life lost their mother, and I was able to be there for one of them. The other is gone, and he was really nice to me. I did like him. The precious friend did his thing, which it's pretty obvious I brought on with my comment on his level of maturity.
You know I wasn't even feeling mentally together at all before all of this. I only started feeling mentally together around the middle of December, and then in January, pretty much everyone I knew disappeared. The men who had made contact with me here went on holidays, and so they were gone. The men in my phone life were gone, except the one who lost his mother.
Then the one who I never ever talked about here until the other day also left my life, so now there is really only one who rings me, and other than another who makes the odd comment on my blog, there is absolutely nobody, and it's really distressing.
Oh, something I didn't mention, on this site, there is now a problem with my email. I write an email, a really nice one that I have taken time over, and I do click on send. It comes up with "replied" on the email that was sent to me. I check my sent box, and nothing. The email is not there. I wait a day or two, and the person I sent it to, has not replied, nothing. At this time, I have no idea as to what I wrote, so now, it seems that I have to start again, and I am disheartened, because I have no idea as to what I originally wrote.
Do you know what's good? Me. I may not get done what I should. I may not be pretty anymore. I was never that gorgeous, just I always had what I think could be called a "glow" about me, not a pregnancy one, a glow of warmth and happiness. That of course was killed after the dramas, only that is coming back. I just can't change the damaged teeth, as I don't have a dentist as such - not explaining that, too long winded.
Ok, so as I said, I am no longer pretty, but the heart is starting to show on the outside, and somehow I am reteaching myself to value me. I am slowly regaining the thing that was always there with me. It's what attracted so many to me. I'd just smile, no matter what. I'd make people feel comfortable around me, and they'd think I wasn't any brighter than them. I am getting that back, slowly and surely. It is taking time.
To me, even though I did drink probably way too much last night, and I cannot get over the blog I produced under the influence. Where are the typos????? The only typos I found are the intentional ones that were to accentuate what I was saying! Ok, I didn't finish that sentence. To me, even though I drank way too much, I did something really good for me. I gave myself a little break, some time out, and a chance to grieve for all the stupid things that have happened.
I hope you are dealing with your monsters in a way that is safe for you and yours.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
I'm not sober!
|
Posted:Feb 27, 2012 3:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:2 am
2206 Views
|
This is ridiculous, I can't even write a not sober blog.
Do you know that all we ever watch over here is american shows, except if we watch the government station? The only other way we can watch local shows is if we watch "live" shows. Then they are usually pre-recorded.
Oh dear, this is boring! LOL. I am definitely not sober! Who gave me access to my computer???? LOL. This is really bad! Hmmm.
"I love myself just the way I am, there's nothing I need to change. I'll always be, the perfect me, there's nothing to rearrange! I'm beautiful, and capable, of being the best me I can, and I love myself, just the way I am . . . I love myself, just the way I amm . . ."
I'm sorry, I am supposed to love him! But I am not in love with him! and right now I do not love him, and chances are I never will! Because you know what! I'm not just any ordinary woman. I don't like it if men go into time out, to the point that if a man goes into time out, I get cranky, and dump him. By the time he finds his way back towards me, he is out of my life, "he's out of my life""" LOL.
Oh, it's so sad. Only this way, no "...." did I use a rude word???
Ok, none of them can hurt me, cos I am insensitive, and moved on!
and that's the way uh huh uh huh, I like it, oo oo oo, oo, oo oo ooh, ooh ooh!
LOL
I love it
How I met your mother has just been on, only we have probably been watching a 20 year old show, about when Barney brought a baby in. It was funny, only while it was on, I just drank a bit more, and a bit more, and I haven't done something stupid for so looooong, that it's time for me to do something stupid, and ...... the rest of the world!
Do you know that today I talked to the sexiest man I ever met??? Do you know that not only did I talk to him today, but the other year I let him go, so that he could meet another woman, who he has so much more in common with and who was also a lot closer to where he is?
Do you know that before I met "My Love" and not the one I talked about, another, and also before I met the "man of my dreams", oh sorry, for you that's my precious friend. Ok, do you know that before I met either of them, I met another man, through this site, who I don't even remember what I spoke about with before I went and travelled five hours to meet him, as I had just gone through my dramas, yes, way back then, and when I arrived, after travelling five and a half hours instead of the three and a half hours he had suggested it would take, it was too late to turn around and drive home, because I now had about two hours before dark, and because it was so soon after my car crash, I would have basically killed myself if I had attempted to drive home, so when I saw the look on his face, I knew that I would be spending the next few hours making love with that man?
You see, for him it was love at first sight. I am not saying I did not like him, I just had no idea, as I had just met him, and I was so badly damaged from my dramas at this stage, that I had no idea.
Mind you, the session we had was hmmm, yes. Since then, he has been married twice, and the second marriage just broke up. It just goes to show, maybe it's not the best idea to rush in. Maybe it's also not the best idea to wait for the man of your dreams to realise that you are hmm. Maybe it's all just somewhere in between, and if I can't get it right, then who can???
. . . . B COZ, I was always the best. There were no women better than me. Yes, lots were better athletes, or better cooks, or better this or that. I was the best all rounder, and hmm, when I arrived . . . ok, this is R rated. I do need to shut up!
So now you have the tiniest idea of . . mm, and once again, not bad for not sober!!! giggles and more giggles
do I love myself???? yep, I do.
NOW go away, have a cold shower, take a cool bath, go away and enjoy the lovely tart you are with, coz I am me, and as usual, I am not available, as usual, I am the "ice queen", "Frigid Brijit", or maybe just hotter and wilder than you or many will ever know!
Ha haa. You most likely will never never never know! Coz I really don't like sharing, and I don't share me around!
Sorry! But it's fun when it does happen, and it hasn't happened for a long time! and it's not going to happen for another long time! coz for it to happen, it has to be right, and it's not right, and I am not sure it will ever be right again, sorry, because I never ever share it much, .... I am arrogant too. You men taught me so well!!! I am arrogant enough to say, "enough is enough", you abused my body in the past, and now I am ugly, and that's fine, because now that I am ugly, none of you want me, and I love it, it's grand, it's great, as if ever a man touches me again, it will be because of what is inside me, and only because of that, as I am really not attractive any more at all.
I love it, I want it . . .
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
something came to mind
|
Posted:Feb 22, 2012 11:50 pm
Last Updated:Jun 1, 2012 6:28 pm
2202 Views
|
"how I long for yesterday, when you were just a page away"
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Oops, this one's not so good at all!
|
Posted:Feb 22, 2012 11:17 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:2 am
2206 Views
|
I did make this wreath for a funeral recently, very appropriate for this post?
Maybe I should just put a sign out, fire breathing dragon in residence, menopausal monster, stay away, or you will suffer the consequences!
Actually I probably don't need to, as only one is still around, and it's not one that has been there for several years.
Now today, I just needed a break from the stress of things that have been brewing in my life (in other words, I needed a break from things I have no intention of mentioning), so I decided to go and catch up with the precious friend, and see if I could not sort something out. After all, it's been two months, and both Christmas and VD are over.
Who's a . . . .idiot? Don't answer that. I might bite your head off. Actually as I am writing this, some of my distress is melting away, yet a few minutes ago, I was finding that there is this new word in my vocabulary that I have never felt the need to use before, and I really have no excuse to use it now either, only it seemed that I desperately wanted to use it, over and over in relation to different things. It has astounded me as to how many times I have wanted to use it today, since I went over and tried to salvage the friendship that was.
I can't. He is out of my life, that friendship is dead and cremated, and I just need to remind myself that he has been cremated, and I cannot unbury him, as he is cremated, gone. There is no going back. I know it's cruel, and it's the only way I am going to understand that no, there is nothing more I can do. He is either a) too damaged, and I do prefer to use that analogy, or b) he is in love with me, and needs more space than I have the energy to survive, so I need to just accept that for me, I did go to his cremation today, and that is how it is. If I have an issue with this, then I had better go out to the fishpond, where I will strew his imaginary ashes shortly when I feed the fish, taking a cuppa with me, and just sit there and watch the fish, and remember the good times, because I only have memories now.
Umm, I do accept that I made the mistake in early December, as I am aware of what he was when I met him. I also know how much he improved while I knew him. Now I do need to go, as I am getting teary eyed. No idea why????
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
another daily blog! oops!
|
Posted:Feb 22, 2012 3:45 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2012 3:25 am
2223 Views
|
Yay! I finally managed to upload a pic into a blog of mine. This is the one referred to ages ago, as frogs in my pond. Here's hoping it comes up large enough!
Seriously, I don't know what my problem is.
It's not that long ago, that I was pretty much getting up closer to lunchtime than breakfast, most days. I had done little or nothing before noon, other than get brekky, and sometimes I hadn't even done that! My hygiene was almost gone. Most days I had PJs on most of the day.
As I have said more than once, I was not suffering depression. I was suffering from severe traumas, that happened in 2003. I had to be patient with the healing process, which I have been.
Today, like most days, I put some clothes on when I climbed out of bed. I went outside, like most days, only today I watched a street sweeper instead of walking along my fences. Instead of doing some useful housework, I have read blogs, and even written one of my own. Most days lately, I have been going out and feeding the fish, after cleaning the filter, and then either getting breakfast, or coming back here, and perhaps after a while achieving both, long before lunch time.
As I have lost my faithful friend who used to email me jokes, funnies, or anything else he could find to amuse me, I don't tend to check my emails these days until I suddenly realise, oops, haven't checked my emails for a while, and then I do that, and find "google fashion" and a few spams that I have elected to receive, with nothing much else.
Be nice if I had deliberately earned it all! It's ok, and I will survive, as that's the one thing I seem to be really good at.
Ok, so in actual fact, I really have "not done nothing!"
I do hope your day is a good one!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Daily Blog
|
Posted:Feb 22, 2012 3:20 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2012 3:24 am
2354 Views
|
Today there is a lot to say.
The creek flooded again last night. A car drove through the creek. Well, I think it drove through the creek. I don't know, as I only saw the tracks into the creek. I couldn't see if there were tracks out of the creek. It was too dark to tell. Uh yes, this was after the gates were closed. It drove around them, yes, that would be on the footpath.
This morning the "lovely?" street-sweeper woke me up as he cleaned the streets, opened the gates again, and cleaned up the creek - sorry, causeway. Seeing I was now awake, I did go out and watch. Why not? I do hate the fact though, that a car or other can wake me up from several streets away. I did think I slept well. Maybe I also live in Fantasyland!
I loved catching up with some blogs this morning, liked a few in relation to VD, except one. It seems that blogger can't see that by using the letters VD, instead of Valentine's Day, it makes a reader laugh when they see it!. . . which is why the letters VD were used.
I liked a few so much! that . . . . I copied this one: (Unable to include the pic which was hmm.)
by CleavageFan4U QUOTE:
A Little Humor for Your Monday
When I was born, I was given a choice - a big cock or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings".....
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men are "don't" and "stop", unless they are used together.
Bras: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best things on earth.
There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
Virginity can be cured.
Virginity is not dignity, it is lack of opportunity.
Having sex is like playing bridge -- if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
Despite the old saying “Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives!
:UNQUOTE
There's more!
"charmer961" wrote an item called:
Dominance and submission. In it he quoted someone he referred to as:
"fringe-of-darkness" from another site online.
My reaction? "ohh, wowww!" The reason for my reaction? It was as if the words had come straight out of the mouth of someone I used to know, yummy!
The funny thing in all of this, is I'd never trust anyone to tie me up or dominate me in any way, other than what men already do in marriage, and even that is hard to take, so how come my reaction???? Yep, it has me beat too. (Sorry, you'll have to look this one up if you want to find out what was written.)
Oh, something else! I do hope that you have well and truly recovered from your VD!
So that's just the start of my day! I wonder will I ever find the inclination/time to get outside and do some yardwork, or maybe even some housework indoors, or tidying???? Yep, ok, no rest for the wicked, maybe soon. I am trying, very trying, very hard.
. .. and the sheer volume of my blogs has a few members of the male gender . . . yep, well . . .  giggles here. I love it!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
when someone dies . . . .
|
Posted:Feb 21, 2012 8:29 pm
Last Updated:Jun 1, 2012 6:38 pm
3090 Views
|
I think this might help a few people understand why some disappear when someone has died.
Firstly, someone dies, and everyone disappears. It's like your best friends all caught a virus, climbed into bed and turned their phones off, or they all went overseas at the same time. Even your family can get torn apart, if they weren't already. They are just not there. So the person who has suffered a loss, now has nobody that matters to reach out to, as they are just not there.
The friends call this, giving the person who is grieving space.
Family may call this, "you must be kidding, I'm never going to see . . . again. He/she . . . It's unforgivable."
The person who is grieving often calls this, "they don't give a ..." about me.
Then there is the other major negative of loss. Suddenly the phone is ringing off the hook! Every man and his is ringing, some offering condolences, others asking prying questions, and others just being plain annoying. People never heard of are ringing, offering their tuppence, people saying they are long lost friends, and it just doesn't stop. It gets to the point where the grieving just want to throw the phone at the wall. Actually better still, at some idiot's head!
The friends don't want to pester, and they do have questions, only they feel like everything they say is misunderstood, (which it usually is) and it's easier just not to annoy, so they stay away more. Not only that, they said something and had their head bitten off, yet there was not one nasty thing in what they said.
When you lose a close loved one, there are lots of things to do, especially if you are the executor. Often the executor is a close family member, so here you are, your Dad has just died, and you are executor. Your Mum passed a while ago, or they have been split up for years, so now you have to organise everything, and your siblings are younger than you (this is just an example), so they look to you for guidance and help. Your parents are gone! How the ... do you manage???!!!
Don't tell me that's what spouses are for, as marriages often break up at this point.
When you are the (mature adult) who has to do everything, you need to get either your key, or find their key, and you need to go to the home, open it up, look around, and start sorting things. You need to get the phone disconnected, the electricity disconnected, just for starters. The place might need a clean up, if the situation was "one of those". You need to make lots of decisions.
Some of those decisions might include how you will organise disposal of possessions, your loved one's furniture, clothes, their jewellery, their ... collection, their loved ....The list goes on. You need to organise the funeral, deciding which coffin, who will pay for that coffin, who will pay for the funeral, and how. You have to decide flowers for the funeral, ushers, burial, or cremation. The list goes on, if you want any music, at a church? at the funeral parlour? Who will speak at the funeral? Is there something you don't want them to share with everyone? Are there things you want them to say? Often the "wake" is not organised at all, as it's just too much, and gets forgotten until everyone is at the funeral. That's why often a wake is just done at someone's home, and it's nothing more than a cuppa and conversation, maybe a packet of bikkies, or order in some lunch for everyone from some take-away. Sometimes you get lucky, and it's at someone who loves to cook's home, so they make yummy things.
As I have participated in some post death arrangements, I have been made aware of all of these things.
It gets worse. You check your loved one's mail, and there's not just one letter from "the phone company", or some other organisation, private or government, meaning a bill, and they keep sending this bill, over and over, and each time they increase the debt, adding fees, even though you have rung them, and said, this person is deceased. They are dead! Will you listen???
Then there are subscriptions. Some people subscribe to a bunch of things that you knew nothing about, and these need cancelling, or at least some kind of notification. You may even find you need to send something back!
There's something else. You have to prove that this person is dead, and that you are authorised to act on their behalf in this situation, so every place will ask you for this or that.
I did not mention identification, if that is needed, due to how your loved one died. Along with this often comes decisions about closed/open coffin, make-up or other, how much of the person will be on display if on display?
So while the rest of us blithely sit on our backsides, either enjoying the funeral and wake, or living our lives as if nothing is wrong, the bereaved are going through the kind of hell that only someone who has been there can possibly understand.
Not every one of the bereaved is going through all of this. Those who are not executors might go through some of it, helping with various aspects of the disposal of "the estate", even if it's only one small suitcase of possessions. It still needs to be dealt with, no matter how rich or poor the person was.
As I have never been the actual executor, I am unaware of all the laws that need to be considered. I do understand that it can be a legal minefield.
Now that was all the basics. Then there are the disputes. They can get incredibly ugly, so next time you hear that someone has lost a loved one, maybe this blog will help you begin to understand why they seem to be so absent, so short-tempered, or whatever it is they are.
Try really hard to not take it personally, as they just might need you now more than ever. Only if you reach out to them, they might not appreciate it at present, and really need that time and space, and even to blame you for now, or long term.
It's just how it is. When someone dies, it's cruel, painful, and can be very messy, both physically and emotionally.
If the loved one was a spouse, it's possible that even with a new partner, the bereaved will still grieve every day for the rest of their lives. If the loved one was a , parents rarely ever get over it, finding it stays with them every day, for the rest of their life. If however the loved one was a parent, it tends to take around seven years, and everyone is different, so never lock someone into a time frame. For the rest of us, generally it's not so bad, and it might take weeks, months, or up to that roughly seven year time span. Again, never, ever judge. It's downright cruel to lock someone into a time frame and expect them to conform. For reasons that you might not know, even those you don't expect to, might never get over their loss, so do not assume.
There are no rules. I like to let someone know I care, every so often, depending on who they are, and what their loss was. Sometimes it's just kinder to walk away, and accept that in different circumstances, things may have been different. So now you also feel bereaved, as you have lost someone you care about to their grief. That's life! So now you also need to deal with your loss.
written with much love from oneladybrijit
for those who have lost a loved one 
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (oneladybrijit) use [blog oneladybrijit] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
211
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
