Day One and a half: Nine things about yourself.
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Posted:Apr 24, 2012 3:25 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2012 7:09 am
20630 Views
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Ok I couldn't wait till tomorrow for this one lol
So sue me 
Or take it out of my body 
Lady's choice
1: I AM one of those damned foreigners who came here and took your jobs and stole your women
2: I'm NOT this nice in real life
3: There are certain females around here that if time/distance/circumstances etc were different...I'd be dating, never mind just hooking up
4: I really love sex...really, really, really love it...really, really, really,really, REALLY love it 
5: I enjoy a good laugh....even when I shouldn't
6: I alternate between "high as a kite" and "down in the dumps" for no real reason whatsoever...
7: If you tell me a secret...it STAYS a secret...to the grave if necessary...
8: There is someone I think about at least once a day and sigh
9a: Forget Clooney et al, I'M the sexiest man alive....
9b: I'm full of shit You may have noticed
Maybe I'll condense 10 days into four
This is too much fun
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Happy 201, 3rd Blogaversay and HNT all rolled into one: Jets on MY boobs
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Posted:Apr 19, 2012 9:51 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2015 9:24 am
27325 Views
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Well hello there peoples!!!
It's a very special post today boys and girls
As of last week I have officially made 200 posts (this is actually 201 but what the hell right?? )
Then I realised last weekend was also my third year Blogaversary!!
Ok that might be stretching it a bit considering I did take almost a year off in there somewhere
But it IS the third anniversary of my first blog post!
Incidentally third anniversaries are Crystal or Glass in the "modern" lists, or Leather in the "traditional....
I was hoping for Wood but no such luck
So of course I had to come up with something a little special for today's missive...
To that end I asked in the BloggerSlogger Group what I should do or what the Big Bumper Book of Blog Etiquette had to say on the matter.
Apparently that volume does not exist 
Contrary to what people would have you believe...in Blogland there are NO rules
However I was blessed with some suggestions from the cream of blogging....
It was suggested that I write 200 things you lot didn't know about me...
Well firstly, I don't think I KNOW 200 things about myself to write....and secondly, if there were 200 things...you really wouldn't want to know some of them
(Let your imagination wander on THAT one.... you'll see what I mean )
Someone else suggested a 200 word post....
200 words??? Are you trying to tell me to cut down or something??
Following that there was mention of a 200 emoticon post....
Hmmmmm....isn't that EVERY post though??? lmao
Not very special I didn't think...
Then Flirty™ piped up with her suggestion, which was that I paint Jets logos on her boobs.....
Unfortunately, that idea was tagged for when the Jets win the Stanley Cup....much as I would enjoy the experience right now, I think I'll save that one for when that glorious day arrives....besides...I need to practice first so I don't make a fool of myself when it's time to do it for real
So I weighed up all my options and the best I could come up with was this:
So happy 200 posts, third blogaversary and HN...ummm....shit it's Thursday already isn't it???
Oh well....HNT is is
Better late than never, as they say......
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Don't You Forget About Me......
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Posted:Apr 12, 2012 12:25 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:58 pm
18465 Views
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OH.
MY.
GOD.
Firstly I'd like to apologise profusely to the author of the next blogshare post. I thought I had posted this one but evidently.....I didn't 
However...this is actually my 200th blog post....so I hope that goes some way to making it up to her.....
I have a feeling I'm going to be paying for this for quite some time lol
To all the people who read mine on her blog...NOW it'll make sense
Here she is ladies and gentlemen.....smartasswoman
I was really pleased when spudsy1000 asked me if I’d like to do a blog swap with him. Well…pleased…and embarrassed. Why embarrassed? You see, even though I love getting blog comments from spudster, and love the comments that he leaves on other peoples’ blogs (he is a serial commenter extraordinaire); I have been remiss about visiting and commenting on HIS blog.
Why this omission? There is a hint in this section of Potato-man’s index:
The Reviews:
The Chase is Better Than the Catch Motorhead .........
This is the end...... Ozzy Osbourne .........
American Bad Ass Rock .........
Guitar Orgasm Lynyrd Skynyrd .........
Let It Out George Canyon .........
No One Came Deep Purple
Have mercy. Motorhead? Ozzy Osbourne?
Yes, the truth is out. I’m a music snob.
When I let the cat out of the bag to His Tuberousness that I might be teasing him about his taste in music, he wanted to know what kind of music *I* like – I’m sure he had hopes of reciprocally roasting me over the coals. I was maddeningly vague – I said, “my taste is eclectic”
Here’s a brief history of my journey of musical taste (or lack thereof).
High School: I liked Dan Fogelberg because he had dreamy green eyes.
College: I was an R&B/disco girl – Earth Wind and Fire, The Brothers Johnson, and so on. I may also have owned a Boz Scaggs album that got played to death. :”> And, shame upon shame, I believe I attended a Barry Manilow concert (not my idea, it was my freshman year boyfriend who wanted to see him) .
In my last year of college I was visiting the music lounge in the student union (now there’s a sign of change – they actually used to have a lounge where you could check out a vinyl record, take it to a turntable and listen on head phones). I checked out My Aim is True by Elvis Costello and thus smarty the new waver/punk rocker was born
1979-1989 was a mad whirl of seeing as many concerts/gigs as I could possibly squeeze in, while holding down a normal job. The Clash, the Talking Heads, REM, Blondie, Elvis, X, countless local bands including the Replacements, the Suburbs, Husker Du.
1990-2004 was sort of a black hole – I was in a relationship with a guy who was always wanting to get up at 7 am to go do a 100 mile bike ride or something. Late nights at the bars disappeared from my lifestyle. Staying current with the hot musical groups suffered. I did buy several Everclear CD’s and found them useful for running and riding my bike on the stationary trainer in the basement – ha.
Since saying goodbye to Mr. Enduro Athlete, I’ve been trying to re-invigorate my music-going ways. Know what? Late nights and standing up for three hours to watch a band are kind of hard when you’re getting old Still, I maintain my pretensions of being “above” liking mainstream music. Resulting in at least two memorable fails on the part of men who I met from this site:
Fail #1: We were having a “first meet” drink when ELO came on the sound system. I said ELO was a guilty pleasure for me (certain mainstream music, like ABBA and ELO, is OK to like if it’s in an ironic kind of way ). He replied, “I like ELO. There’s been no good music since 1980”. This was in 2006 or so. Poor dude hadn’t liked any new music for 26 years!
Fail #2: I was driving downtown with a guy, to go see Jolie Holland at the Fine Line Cafe. It was our second or third date and he seemed like a nice enough guy. But then, in the car, he said, “So, do you like bands like Boston and Kansas?” Um. At a total loss for a response to that. Ouch.
However, despite these pretensions, if I am to be totally honest with myself, I am “alternative” but in a despicably mellow way. Who do I love these days? Jeremy Messersmith, Rogue Valley, Fleet Foxes, the Decemberists, Dawes…they may not be ‘mainstream’ but they sure ain’t the Clash either.
So rock on, spudsy. Truth be told, I like anyone who is passionate about music, even if I don’t share their tastes.
Audience participation time. Do you have a particular snobbish taste that results in ‘fails’ with your Ay FF prospects? Music? Literature? Food? Craft beers?
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East Bound and Down
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Posted:Apr 11, 2012 8:41 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2012 1:10 pm
18155 Views
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Yet another Blogshare
I think Blogshare Week and a Half may end up as Blogshare Two Weeks
Geez, have I got my work cut out repaying the favours here lol
I may have bitten off more than I can chew
However, I will persevere and get the job done...eventually
Slow and steady always wins
So without further ado, I'm going to hand you over to yet another delightful young lady who goes by the name of sands6871
Note: Reports of my fuzzyness have been greatly exaggerated....
Note2: No perogies were harmed in the making of this blog post
Go check her out! And while you're there...read her blog too! [blog sands6871]
How many Degrees of Separation?
When Spudsy wrote and asked me if I would care to write a blog post for him, I gasped and let out such a pleased and happy squeak that Mr Sands came trotting in the bedroom, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, to see what I was up to! 
That dear, sweet and sexy potato!  That lovely English heirloom spud transplanted to our Canadian soil !  The only person on A.F.F. to use more emoticons than I do! 
What in the world would I say? 
Spudsy does not reveal much.... those heart-stopping violet-blue eyes, and one adorable pic of his sexy and wonderfully fuzzy posterior. Mmmmm.... nibble, nibble!! And I am still a newbie blogger.... he is being awfully kind to give me the mike!! What a sweetheart! 
Sigh! He pretends to be shy and retiring, but I suspect that, like the humble potato itself, he has a surprising range and versatility. I personally can think of several ways I would like to serve him.... up, hehehe. Mmmmm-mmmm!
Which reminds me of a story.... combining versatility, potatoes, and (strangely) Winnipeg. Cue segue harp music....
Picture it: Winnipeg, summer of 1990. My one and only visit to Manitoba, driving across Canada with my mum and teenage brother. We stayed a few days in Winnipeg with friends, and I had the good fortune to meet an elderly Ukrainian man named Mr Dietchka (Spudsy says everyone in Winnipeg claims they are Ukrainian. He may be right!). We sat in this old gentleman's kitchen drinking tea with a generous splash of whiskey. On hearing me mention off-hand that my family was Irish in origin, he immediately launched into a tirade about (of all things) potatoes.
"You bloody Irish," he snorted, "think you invented the goddamn potato. But you've no imagination! You take these lovely, golden, precious vegetables, and what do you do? Boil them, bake them or fry them. Pathetic! Boring! Wasteful!"
"Now, the Ukrainians," he beamed, as he sat forward in his chair, warming to his subject, "We know how to treat this lovely vegetable, this pinnacle of God's creation. What do we do?" He pounded his fist on the table for emphasis. "We. Make. Pierogies!!"
He took the next 20 minutes to tell me all about making pierogies, about the best kind of flour to use, how you pour the flour on the counter and make a well for the salt, and why you must always mix the egg and oil in with your hands and NEVER a spoon. He waxed lyrical about the potato and cheese filling, holding out his misshapen hands in pantomime, showing how best to form and mold the ideal, crescent-shaped, neat, and perfect pierogy. His old eyes welled up with tears talking about his mother and aunties making pierogies when he was a .
Once he finished, I thanked him for his story, and said, "But, Mr Dietchka, once you have made the pierogies, how do you cook them?"
He looked at me like I was dimwitted, and said "Well, you boil them, bake them or fry them!"
"A-HA!!" I cried, and we all roared laughing, and poured more whiskey in the tea.
Now what has all this got to do with our sexy potato-man?
Damned if I can remember. Something about his ass?? @!@ I talk too much when I'm nervous....
Good night, everyone! You're a swell crowd! Tip your waitress! Try the veal! 
Peace and love.... xoxox
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Portage and Main, 50 below....
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Posted:Apr 10, 2012 6:41 am
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2012 3:33 pm
17804 Views
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Here we go....another blogshare
Boy, do I get the best sharer's or what???
I'm not sure what to make of the anonymous donor thing though...does no one want to be associated with me or what???
I think this one's anonymity won't last long though lol
She's waaaaay too well known
And she possesses the most beautiful eyes.....*ahem* sorry, got distracted....
Actually she tell's me this is her blogshare cherry I'm taking here
Dammit, the pressure!!
Hope I can get it up for the reciprocal post
So here it is.....and just remember guys and gals...you can't be first...but you CAN be next
Title: Another Bloggy-orgy Post for Spudsy
I found it very cool that Spudsy desired my textual touch on his blog.
Given that I have a crush on him and given that I have an affinity for Winnipeg, I had to oblige.
But you have to guess who I might be if you happen across this. That is just how I roll. No names, no hints, only tell-tale garters.
Without further ado... here is a top ten list of everything I loved about living in Winnipeg.
10. Assiniboine Park. I lived in Winnipeg for 8 years in the late 90’s/early 2000’s and I was on Overdale, in St James. Mere steps from my house was a full city-park for running, cycling and a big city zoo. It was like mini New York.
9. The Narcisse Snake Dens - I am not kidding an entire nature park dedicated to the massive dirty sex party of a willion snakes in this little sandy pit. Every year. We caught it in the off season though when we live there. But we did see an overturned cargo truck carrying pigs on the drive up to the dens. That was graphic.
8. Dale Hawerchuk - played for the ORIGINAL Winnipeg Jets and I met him.
7. Salisbury House famous Cheese Nip, slushie capital of the world and Bannock bread.
6. Although born in Oak Park, Illinois, Carol Shields made her literary mark in Winnipeg and more importantly, like Hawerchuk, I met her.
5. The floodway. Saved a lot of Pegger’s basements.
4. The Forks - the Queen Street/St. Catherine’s Street/Granville Island/George Street/White Avenue of Winnipeg - or is that more Osborne Village now?
3. Grand Beach Provincial Park - Canadian outdoors and camping at its best.
2. Louis Riel - one bad ass leader for Manitoba (didn’t meet him)
1. Spudsy - just meet him - he’s worth the trip, yo.
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Frigging In The Rigging
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Posted:Apr 9, 2012 3:09 pm
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2012 3:20 pm
18137 Views
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Another Blogshare
Since Blogshare week is now Blogshare Week and a Half
Thanks to someone pointing out that short notice isn't enough notice
This one comes to you from a couple who don't get as much exposure as I think they should...they're always a good read
Although, being exposed here is probably not going to help them attain any level of fame
Aren't you proud?? I didn't even make a single reference to pirates, corsairs, letters of marque, pieces of eight or even parrots
Ok well there is the title of course - but who doesn't like a little Sex Pistols on a Monday
So here they are....the piratepair211.....
When meeting a potato - a post for Spudsy
Be happy he had the time to meet you, after all, he's no commontater.
When engaging in small talk butter him up a bit, a couple dabs and he'll be all mushy.
Don't offer him any drugs after all you don't want to deal with a burnt out baked potato.
Keep calm and and act normal he keeps his eye's peeled for anything out of the ordinary.
Might not want to mention his manhood, he can become quite a dictator about things like that.
Remember he's no small fry so please don't treat him like a tatertot.
If someone come's up to you and starts being offensive he'll stand up and be the protective man saying angrily "IDAHO here, how much you payin?"
If the person still doesn't go away its most likely to make him boiling mad.
He's no imitator and at the end of the date if he really like's you he won't be a hesitater, he'll openly let you know he's Frito-Lay.
**********************************************************************
A bonus joke if thats too cheesy for you:
A potato, pickle and penis were all talking about how horrible their lives were turning out
The potato says "my life sucks, when I get big and fat they'll cut me up and boil me"
The pickle says "my life is worse, when I get big and fat they'll stick me in a jar of vinager, seal me in and leave me in a closet over winter."
The penis says "you guys have no idea, when I get big and fat they'll put a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out."
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Across the Universe
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Posted:Apr 9, 2012 5:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2012 10:54 am
18686 Views
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Here's an interesting one.....
This guy is smarter than the average bear
Mostly.
He DOES like the Leafs, but then again no one is perfect
If you haven't become a disciple of the Local Adult Companion Yogi get your ass over to his blog.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be amazed by his giant tool.
Heeeeeeere's DMyogi
Nostril Niggling
I was checking out my nose this morning.
More correctly, I was sneezing over and over and couldn’t figure out why. My nose decided to drag my attention over to it. While considering other things that get plugged, I glanced at the plunger for possible relief. Suddenly I saw visions of Jim Carey in “Pet Detective”.
Maybe not.
For a moment, I thought I may be coming down with a bug. Or more correctly, the bug may be going down on me. It’s perspective really. When we’re ill, the bug is fucking us over, no?
What distressed me most was the thought of being alone and making long distance calls on the porcelain telephone. I know I can manage on my own. I know I can take care of myself and cope with getting work done if need be. I can drag my sorry, bloated, hang-on-the-floor ass all over the house bitching and moaning and sniffling like a whiny little brat. I fucking do that when I’m feeling well, whiny little bastard that I am.
Nay! What bothers me the most is, I haven’t anyone here that can coddle me like the fucking suck I am through any infirm condition I may suffer through.
I know it’s a bit degrading and most definitely unmanly and I am obliged to admit I am an absolute fucking, thumb-sucking infant when I become ill. I’ll confess it. I just adore the pissing, moaning and grousing and look forward to the mothering I receive from a beautiful woman.
There. I said it.
So, with Spring temperatures all over the fucking place and my forward thinking, I have come to the astounding conclusion that I must set up a DM Rescue Team. Rotating assistance is likely best. The idea is that I gather a team of mother wannabes who wouldn’t mind checking in on Big Boy Baby Bobby from time to time. Chicken soup would be nice. A tissue for my runny nose. Perhaps wipe my forehead with a cool cloth. A sponge bath. How about half-wearing that hot nurses uniform I have in the closet for just such an emergency?
Hmm. That might be asking a bit much. The uniform and the sponge bath should be enough.
I suppose I could always call my 186 year old neighbour. She’s over here often enough anyway.
Back to my nose. The sneezes seem to have been nothing and cleared up quickly after a cup of Joe and a hot shower. While I was there though, I re-inspected the interior-furred oxygen input unit for aesthetics. Perhaps I should do something about that huge, dark hairy mole near the tip. I think it’s having an effect on my love life. (I can hear the scrambling to check out my face pictures in the albums. Ya’ll are a fucking hoot.)
Does anyone else have an issue with becoming ill while they’re on their own? Do you have a plan for assistance?
Do you have any idea where I put the fucking snot rags?
DM
I'm disappointed though...there seems to be something missing.....
Oh yeah....
Namaste
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Charmer.....'nuff said
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Posted:Apr 4, 2012 10:44 am
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2012 6:30 am
18195 Views
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This gentleman needs no introduction....so I'm not giving him one
I am a little worried about the whole screaming, pantie throwing crowd of women thing...so I hired extra security for today
So here it is: Charmer961.......
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Freewheel Burnin'
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Posted:Apr 4, 2012 10:19 am
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2012 5:33 am
18060 Views
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Previously on The Potato's Lair...
lol
It's getting a bit like a soap opera around here
So here is the next installment of Blogshare
This one is from a young lady, with possibly the most famous legs in Manitoba That short skirt has garnered more attention in these parts than it's owner knows what to do with
And after this post, there's going to be no parking spots left at a certain store
She's funny, she's sexy, she's honest and open, she's your happy little friend......littlelady220!!!
BTW After reading this post I tried to persuade her to take the pic in tiny panties holding the item in question....but to no avail.....sorry guys...I did try!!
Theeeeeeeee Most Embarrassing Moment,
of my life thus far.
Yikes, I just need you all to know that when Spuds asked me to appear on his blog for The Great Bloggers Swap Week,
I hit the PANIC!!!!!! button, only because my Staples "That Was Easy" button wasn't working.
For me to write something for some one who is damn funny and very popular, and not mess up his fan base in the process
Whew! that's a huge and I mean a huge lump of coal on my shoulders.
But Spuds is such a funny talented guy I took this honour as a challenge..
I am always getting myself into trouble with this sort of thing.
So instead of racking my brains and having my blood pressure shoot through the roof I went to my local LC to pick up
some booze(raspberry cider, my fav). On my way home as I was speeding down the street with all sorts of thoughts
(I do not drink and drive) running through my mind I almost rear-ended a dude,
A very nice looking dude I might add. Well from the back anyway....lol
and BAM I had a flashback
Not long after joining Local Adult Companion by mistake....lol I actually stumbled upon this site, as they say "everything happens for a reason".
I was really starting to have fun with the blogs, reading and writing. The comments were the best. I began laughing my ass
off everyday. I came upon some erotic story's and secretly enjoyed them.....lol My mind began to wonder and my own ideas began
to take shape. Oh how exciting it all became.
So one day I decided I was going to bite all the bisquets in the cookie jar tuck my shyness into my pocket and head out to our
local sex shop to get myself my very first toy. WOW and I mean WOW, the variety holy heck I had fun asking questions and
looking at everything.
With my purchase in hand I was excited to get home and try it out. Needless to say I was loving this thing. I kept thinking
to myself, why the hell haven't I ever done this before. Then I started to get brave. Using it every where in the house when
ever I had the chance. I soon ran out of ideas.
This is where the real story starts.
It was cold and crisp out that day almost a year ago now. Wearing a big pair of baggy sweatpants and my toy tucked nicely in
my purse I got into my car and drove off. I swear i felt like a little school girl going to her first boy/girl dance. I remember it so
clearly as if it happened yesterday.
Pulling into the Future Shop parking lot I parked close to the entrance, well as close as I could get. I pretended I was waiting for
some one, silly me who the hell was gonna know anyway. I took my vibe out of my purse and went to town.....lol
Oh my god, OH MY GOD!!!! watching the men go in and out, scared I was going to get caught as they walked past me was so
flippn exciting. Some of them even looked and smiled and I tried to smile back looking all normal, like I wasn't doing anything
like umm making my self cum...Wow what an orgasm that was!!
So now I am all done smiling from ear to ear, laughing at what I just did, flushed because it was flippn hot and weak from head to toe.
My whole body was shaking and I had to drive all the way home. I took a deep breath put my car in gear and took off. So here I am
driving down Ness smiling(seriously couldn't get that damn smile off my face for days) and barely able to drive. I seriously don't
remember what I was thinking about or why I wasn't paying attention but suddenly BAM I rear-ended this truck(not describing it just in case....lol)
HOLY SHIT I said out loud. The guy waved me to fallow him into the parking lot so I did. Stopping he got out of his truck and again excuse my language.. HOLY SHIT He was frickn sexy and hot. I could barely get out of my car with my face all red and my whole body shaking
and weak. I began to apologize profusely as we checked out the damage. No damage what so ever to his truck as his trailer ball hitch thing
went right through my front grill. Smiling at me he asked if I wanted his info to make a claim. Nope I said my car is old no big deal unless you
want my info I said. Nah he says there's no damage to my truck. WHEW!!!! holy shit that was a close one.
Getting back into my car and watching him drive off I began to curse myself for not getting his flippn info and there was no way I was chasing
him down. Turning off my radio and having a smoke I made it safely the rest of the way home.
There is still a huge hole in my front grill as it is an old car no point in getting it fixed and I do like the memory when I do see it.
And that my friends and Spuds' friends is theeeee most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me...
Thank you for inviting me to do a guest spot on your blog Spuds, I hope your fans have enjoyed this little read,
You can stop laughing anytime now Spuds Spuds, Spuds I asked nicely, stop laughing!!!!
Little Lady
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To link to this blog (spudsy1000) use [blog spudsy1000] in your messages.
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Stop it.
